Billions and Billions
What really happened when we made first contact with extraterrestrial life
Last week, three former United States military officials testified before Congress, sharing their belief that the American government knows far more about extraterrestrial phenomena than the public has been made aware of. Their testimony—which raised eyebrows in many corners—included assertions that the government is “absolutely” in possession of unidentified aerial phenomena (UAPs) and has even recovered “nonhuman biologics” of a “disturbing” nature from a crash site.
Of course, that’s not the entire story.
The Action Cookbook Newsletter has sources deep within some of the military’s most secret programs, and we have learned of an actual encounter between government scientists and extraterrestrial beings.
We have even obtained a transcript of this encounter, which is reprinted in full below.
This information is highly classified, so please: if you’re going to print it out and leave it in a banker’s box in an unsecured public bathroom at your members-only club, please push it into a corner.
Maybe put some towels over it.
[SCENE: a remote desert location in southern Utah]
SCIENTIST #1: [speaking into radio] We are approaching the site where the object is estimated to have landed. No visual has been established yet.
SCIENTIST #2: Wait! I think I see something!
SCIENTIST #1: [speaking into radio] Send in backup. We’re going to approach the object on foot.
[they come to a stop at a smoking crater, in the center of which lies a large metallic object roughly the size of a school bus. They exit their jeep warily]
SCIENTIST #2: My god, it’s real.
SCIENTIST #1: It’s an actual alien spacecraft.
SCIENTIST #2: It’s what we’ve always dreamed of seeing.
SCIENTIST #1: It’s the culmination of my life’s work investigating extraterrestrial phenomena.
SCIENTIST #2: It’s…
BOTH, in unison: … kind of crappy-looking?