Blink-182 is not classic rock. I am not a crackpot.

A brief, unhinged rant from a man coming to grips with the inexorable passage of time.

This Saturday morning, I had a rare moment of control.

My children had opted to bury their noses in their tablets for the morning, burning off the one hour of free-play time we’ve set the devices to allow as quickly as they could, so they could get on to the more important business of yelling at me for not setting it longer. My wife was out running an errand, and that meant, in true blissful-sitcom-dad-fashion, I had sole control of the television remote for a small window of time.

Of course, I have no idea what’s actually on TV, but as I flipped through the channel guide, I saw that MTV—a channel I haven’t watched in years—was airing an “MTV Classic” programming block all morning. Well, this could be fun to watch, I thought.

I flipped over, and my heart sank.

The video for N*SYNC’s 2000 hit single “Bye Bye Bye” was playing.

Now, I’m not complaining about this in and of itself—unlike when I was in high school and possessed of the belief that all the music I liked had to be angry and tes…