The day the plans came back

The ghosts of my own enthusiasm have something to say.

ME: [pulls bag of popcorn out of microwave] Ahh, another deeply unproductive day. [opens bag of M&Ms, dumps it into popcorn bag] Time to curl up under a throw blanket, watch every episode of Floor Is Lava and scroll social media while getting progressively angrier. [cracks beer]

[flops on couch] Yep. Nice little evening planned here, and—

VOICE: We need to talk.

ME: Who said that?

VOICE: It’s us.

ME: Who?

VOICE: The plans you made back in March.

ME: [chuckling nervously, voice getting perceptibly higher with each syllable] Ha ha the plans? That I made? In March? Me? Who? What? That’s ridiculous.

MY PLANS: [emerge from shadows, looking disappointed in me]

ME: Oh no.

A SET OF RESISTANCE BANDS I BOUGHT FOR AT-HOME WORKOUTS: You had such high hopes for us just three months ago.

A HARDCOVER COPY OF THE POWER BROKER THAT I STARTED READING IN 2008 AND VOWED TO FINISH: You were going to use this time productively.

A SOURDOUGH STARTER THAT HASN’T BEEN FED: You were going to come out of quarantine with new…