The day the plans came back
The ghosts of my own enthusiasm have something to say.
ME: [pulls bag of popcorn out of microwave] Ahh, another deeply unproductive day. [opens bag of M&Ms, dumps it into popcorn bag] Time to curl up under a throw blanket, watch every episode of Floor Is Lava and scroll social media while getting progressively angrier. [cracks beer]
[flops on couch] Yep. Nice little evening planned here, and—
VOICE: We need to talk.
ME: Who said that?
VOICE: It’s us.
VOICE: The plans you made back in March.
ME: [chuckling nervously, voice getting perceptibly higher with each syllable] Ha ha the plans? That I made? In March? Me? Who? What? That’s ridiculous.
MY PLANS: [emerge from shadows, looking disappointed in me]
ME: Oh no.
A SET OF RESISTANCE BANDS I BOUGHT FOR AT-HOME WORKOUTS: You had such high hopes for us just three months ago.
A HARDCOVER COPY OF THE POWER BROKER THAT I STARTED READING IN 2008 AND VOWED TO FINISH: You were going to use this time productively.
A SOURDOUGH STARTER THAT HASN’T BEEN FED: You were going to come out of quarantine with new…