The trouble with Scott Hines
Call me by your name. Just don't sign me up for any emails about it.
I’ve got a real problem with Scott Hines.
Not myself, that is.
I mean, yes—to be fair, I have a lot of problems with that Scott Hines—but that’s not who I’m talking about here. I have a problem with someone else. Multiple someones else. Frankly, I’m even not quite sure how many there are. A dozen, maybe more?
I have a Scott Hines problem, but it’s all the other Scotts Hines I have a problem with.
And there’s more of them than I realized.
Hines is, according to a quick search, the 434th-most-common surname in the United States—not incredibly rare, but certainly not on the level of names like Smith, Johnson or Williams, either. The most difficult thing about the name is the spelling, since there’s a half-dozen ways to get there from here—I have learned to reflexively spell it without being asked when giving it over the phone—Hines aytch eye en ee ess.
(No, not like the ketchup. Yes, I have heard that one before.)
Scott, for that matter, peaked in usage in 1971, when it was the 10th-most-comm…