Who would win?

The eternal question, at least in my house lately.

It’s 7:46am, and the kids are late for school, which means I’m late for work.

They didn’t eat the breakfast that I served them, which means that we’re five minutes away from my daughter—who sat in front of a waffle for roughly 30 minutes this morning, staring off into space—telling me that she’s hungry. In the rush of getting them and myself ready to leave the house, I didn’t have time to make coffee, which means I’m just trying to keep the car between the lines long enough to drop them off, get to work, and resume the process of waking up in the relative peace of my office.

It’s quiet in the car for a moment. But only a moment.

“Daddy?”

I know what’s coming next.

“Okay, who would win—a Komodo Dragon, or a tiger?”

Welcome to America’s hottest new game show, where a sleepy dad is quizzed about animal-on-animal violence by a precocious 5-year-old.

My children have been fortunate enough to have attended in-person schooling for a good portion of the last year, and it’s been a crucial time for t…