You can tailgate anything, even Halloween

The Friday Newsletter is pregaming already.

It’s tailgate season, and that might just be the most wonderful time of the year.

There’s something truly marvelous about it: preparing massive quantities of food and drink for the express purpose of eating them outside with friends and family, in an anticipatory revelry before a football game that might eclipse the game itself.

The only problem is, there’s only so many opportunities to do it.

Depending on your school’s priorities and ambitions in scheduling, a college football team might only have six or seven home games in a year; a pro team might have eight, unless they’re bad enough to lose a home game to London. Some of those dates are invariably going to conflict with other things in your life—work, social obligations, family vacations, soccer practices, arraignments, and so on. There might only be a couple games a year where it’s even feasible for you to tailgate!

Well, I’m here—as your friend, newsletter author, and unlicensed attorney/fixer—to remind you of an important truth in …