1) Pick a hobby to care about, don’t be afraid to get silly about it, and find other people who feel the same way about it that you do. It’s a great way to make friends as an adult.
2) Always say yes when a child wants a hug, no matter what else is going on.
3) The rule about two martinis, never more or less, is 99% true, but *only* if those are your first drinks of the night.
Oh #1 is true. Making friends as an "adult" when you no longer have forced social interaction (work doesn't count like classrooms and labs and homework and things) is really really hard. Also, GO BY YOURSELF to the hobby/meeting/movie/bookclub whatever. Its ok and you'll be fine.
It's hotter than you think. It, for purposes if this exercise, can be the sun, an exhaust manifold, the hot sauce, the oven, or the grill. Brought to you by my collection of scars.
It's faded since childhood, but I long had a perfect imprint of a lawnmower exhaust manifold on my right knee. Not only the outline, but also a bunch of little exhaust holes (where the metal of the manifold wasn't).
You know what is an underrated "it's sharper than you think"? The bottom edges of metal shelves, like one would use in a garage or basement. I finally got wise and covered them with the pool noodle things that you use on PVC pipes to insulate them in one's basement.
Also, if you are about to involve your non-dominant hand, think harder. I'm a righty. I have probably three minor burns and cuts to my left hand for every one to my right, even with using my right way more. That dominant had seems to have sensors up way better than the other.
Sometimes you have to accept who you are. I know, for a fact, that I am not a daily litter box cleaner. I just won’t do it. So I waited until I could afford the fancy self-cleaning litter box, and then I got a cat.
When I was still teaching, my advice to graduates was always really simple, because that was the only chance I had at it sticking: Go to class, do the reading, ask the question - knowing is better than not knowing, eventually; and reliability is the first ability people remember.
Now that I'm no longer teaching, my "life" lesson is simpler - after you touch the peppers, wash your hands. No, more than that. No, MORE THAN THAT.
I can still remember the prof who uttered the wisest words "The first class you skip will be the hardest". Applied to a lot more than a semester of linguistics.
My dad grumbled about this every day he came home from work. He was a machine rebuilder, so huge machines with loud, repetitive noise in closed environs. All the newbs would tough it out, while dad never had fewer than 5 packs of earplugs at home, in the car, in his lunch bag, etc. Handed 'em out to everyone he could at any time.
Wait at least six months before investing in a new home entertainment technology to make sure it’s not going to be obsolete and worthless. (Looking at you, Betamax, 3D TV, HD-DVD and DivX.)
The SNL cast of your teenage years was no funnier than any other, you were just at the right age for it then. The secret is that it’s always been mostly unfunny.
If you think “oh, this will be easy” about a home improvement project, you’re already in over your head.
The SNL thing applies to most pop culture things. I have a special place in my heart for seasons of The Simpsons in my high school years that I’m told are well past the peak (that happens to coincide with that person’s HS years)
So, for my birthday, I assembled a Spotify playlist that had one song I love from every year I've been alive (1982-2022). Some years there was one obvious candidate, but I found it nearly impossible to choose from the options for the years 1997-2004.
Weird coincidence how all of the best music ever made just happened to be between the years I was 15-22 years old.
If you agree to multiple large commitments without looking at your calendar, they will all inevitably happen the same week in the middle of a family crisis.
Corollary: your schedule will not, in fact, clear up in a few months.
I will take a different spin on #8 which is to say, you can probably pull off a shaved head, but if the reason you're doing it is hair loss, better to go full bald than cling to 1/2" of sparse growth. And/or commit to the hat life. (I am fine, have been for 7.5 years, cancer gets 0/5 stars, chemo gets, somehow, both 0/5 and 6/5)
A direct flight on a reputable airline is probably worth the extra money if you can afford it!
Totally agree on the direct flight. I've never regretted spending the extra $200 to fly direct. It always results in more time at your destination, which is ultimately what the point of the whole thing.
One additional travel rule: Always try to fly the primary airline at the airport you're departing from. There's so much less chance your travel gets canceled/delayed/etc. when your airline runs the show. And the terminals are almost always better, too.
Preach! There is a whole apparatus set up to make you feel bad for using it, but formula was invented for a damned good reason. Both our kids were formula-fed after the first two months and they’re doing great.
Technically I suppose this advice is too late for college graduates, unless you feel like you "settled" somewhere, but: nobody cares where you went to college. Yes, you will possibly get granted more initial interviews than someone else if you went to an Ivy or the same college as the hiring manager, but the difference in education between your local state school and the dream school is nowhere near the difference in actual cost, and ten years after you leave nobody will care which one you went to if you're doing the things you were hired to do well.
When the previous homeowner leaves behind poison ivy killer in the garage, have a clear understanding of what poison ivy looks like before landscaping, and/or wear long sleeves and pants.
Good rule of thumb is to befriend the nature lover in your neighborhood. They know the invasives, the poisonous, the good growth and how to make it all work.
I pulled out a huge amount of dead/ugly/overgrown bushes and vines last year. I learned there was poison ivy back there the hard way. This summer, the poison ivy has come back in force. I think it's growing between my privacy face and my backyard neighbor's. Bad scenes back there right now.
I'm just glad that I am not very allergic to it, I can crawl around and pull a bunch for an hour or two and end up with a few itchy blisters on my knuckles. I know a lot of ppl are barely able to see the stuff without breaking out everywhere. This year seems worse than recent memory, might be the price I pay for removing all the other growth and leaving room for the weeds to take over.
#15 is spot on. Always let the people close to you know they matter and why. If the situation calls for it, do it on nice stationery.
No one is ever going to be harder on you than you are on yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much - just learn from mistakes and give yourself some grace when needed.
My go-to work advice: Nobody is irreplaceable, but replacing someone is not easy. This advice cuts both ways - if you slack too much, your company can and will replace you. But it won't be easy and most places know this, so employees get a lot more rope than they think. But honestly, most people never get to this point with a job.
Where this lesson is much less obvious is on the other end - you should never stay at a job longer than you want because you're afraid of what will happen to your coworkers if your work doesn't get done. Worrying about that is your boss's job, no matter how high up in the company you are. Your work will get handed off to other people, they will learn the ropes, and sooner than you'd think, things will be back to running smoothly. Your career is your responsibility to yourself, you cannot hold it back in fear of what will happen to others.
I need to read this every day. Not so much for work reallocation but because I keep sticking around out of a sense of obligation to people I hired, even though I’m not managing the contract any longer
Movers are expensive, cheap ones are more expensive
1) Pick a hobby to care about, don’t be afraid to get silly about it, and find other people who feel the same way about it that you do. It’s a great way to make friends as an adult.
2) Always say yes when a child wants a hug, no matter what else is going on.
3) The rule about two martinis, never more or less, is 99% true, but *only* if those are your first drinks of the night.
My only request for #1 is to not be a gate keeper and always remember you were new once before. Not everyone has the resources for the newest or best.
I can't do homebrew clubs because it basically becomes a "who has more disposable income" narcissist festival.
Oh #1 is true. Making friends as an "adult" when you no longer have forced social interaction (work doesn't count like classrooms and labs and homework and things) is really really hard. Also, GO BY YOURSELF to the hobby/meeting/movie/bookclub whatever. Its ok and you'll be fine.
It's hotter than you think. It, for purposes if this exercise, can be the sun, an exhaust manifold, the hot sauce, the oven, or the grill. Brought to you by my collection of scars.
I have a big burn mark on my arm from this weekend that concurs.
The one from the exhaust manifold hurt the worst. Turns out the thing that smelled vaguely of bacon was me.
It's faded since childhood, but I long had a perfect imprint of a lawnmower exhaust manifold on my right knee. Not only the outline, but also a bunch of little exhaust holes (where the metal of the manifold wasn't).
The manifold scar on my right forearm has been there maybe 17 years. Never reach across the mower, apparently.
I would like to add to this, and it's sharper than you think, as I am looking at a scar across my knuckles from a wallpaper scraper.
You know what is an underrated "it's sharper than you think"? The bottom edges of metal shelves, like one would use in a garage or basement. I finally got wise and covered them with the pool noodle things that you use on PVC pipes to insulate them in one's basement.
Also, if you are about to involve your non-dominant hand, think harder. I'm a righty. I have probably three minor burns and cuts to my left hand for every one to my right, even with using my right way more. That dominant had seems to have sensors up way better than the other.
As is the bottom of the oven, strangely. This is a good addition.
Corollary to this rule: just wear a shirt when doing anything that involves this rule
who knew a shirt deflected so much bacon grease?
Weirdly, I was always wearing a shirt. Was it a long sleeve shirt? MIND YA BUSINESS.
Top lesson from an old-timer: Always take time for one last visit to the bathroom before you leave.
parents try to get this message across to their kids, but it never sticks.
Sometimes you have to accept who you are. I know, for a fact, that I am not a daily litter box cleaner. I just won’t do it. So I waited until I could afford the fancy self-cleaning litter box, and then I got a cat.
I have become that guy and I don’t even have the years of prior damage.
I wouldn’t have deleted my misplaced comment if I’d known you’d replied, oops
When I was still teaching, my advice to graduates was always really simple, because that was the only chance I had at it sticking: Go to class, do the reading, ask the question - knowing is better than not knowing, eventually; and reliability is the first ability people remember.
Now that I'm no longer teaching, my "life" lesson is simpler - after you touch the peppers, wash your hands. No, more than that. No, MORE THAN THAT.
Making hot sauce at home prepared me for the early days of COVID in two ways:
1. wash your hands for at least 30 seconds
2. understand the importance of airflow and ventilation
I wear nitrile gloves chopping anything hotter than a jalapeno now.
Maybe wash them once more, just for safety.
I can still remember the prof who uttered the wisest words "The first class you skip will be the hardest". Applied to a lot more than a semester of linguistics.
The old guy at the show is wearing earplugs for a reason, it’s not too soon to start.
WHAT?
My dad grumbled about this every day he came home from work. He was a machine rebuilder, so huge machines with loud, repetitive noise in closed environs. All the newbs would tough it out, while dad never had fewer than 5 packs of earplugs at home, in the car, in his lunch bag, etc. Handed 'em out to everyone he could at any time.
Wait at least six months before investing in a new home entertainment technology to make sure it’s not going to be obsolete and worthless. (Looking at you, Betamax, 3D TV, HD-DVD and DivX.)
The SNL cast of your teenage years was no funnier than any other, you were just at the right age for it then. The secret is that it’s always been mostly unfunny.
If you think “oh, this will be easy” about a home improvement project, you’re already in over your head.
Oh man, 3D TV. A friend in vet school won one from her job and we all sat there staring at it, trying to figure out the point.
The SNL thing applies to most pop culture things. I have a special place in my heart for seasons of The Simpsons in my high school years that I’m told are well past the peak (that happens to coincide with that person’s HS years)
So, for my birthday, I assembled a Spotify playlist that had one song I love from every year I've been alive (1982-2022). Some years there was one obvious candidate, but I found it nearly impossible to choose from the options for the years 1997-2004.
Weird coincidence how all of the best music ever made just happened to be between the years I was 15-22 years old.
I did this exact thing when I turned 30, and called it 30 for 30
At one point, I had built a “box set” of my entire life as a playlist and capped it at one song from each album, and it was still almost a day long.
when I was in HS, people were already complaining that the Simpsons was past their peak, and this was 1997.
If you agree to multiple large commitments without looking at your calendar, they will all inevitably happen the same week in the middle of a family crisis.
Corollary: your schedule will not, in fact, clear up in a few months.
This remains one of the cruelest things I've ever written: https://actioncookbook.substack.com/p/after-this-week-things-should-settle?s=w
I will take a different spin on #8 which is to say, you can probably pull off a shaved head, but if the reason you're doing it is hair loss, better to go full bald than cling to 1/2" of sparse growth. And/or commit to the hat life. (I am fine, have been for 7.5 years, cancer gets 0/5 stars, chemo gets, somehow, both 0/5 and 6/5)
A direct flight on a reputable airline is probably worth the extra money if you can afford it!
Totally agree on the direct flight. I've never regretted spending the extra $200 to fly direct. It always results in more time at your destination, which is ultimately what the point of the whole thing.
One additional travel rule: Always try to fly the primary airline at the airport you're departing from. There's so much less chance your travel gets canceled/delayed/etc. when your airline runs the show. And the terminals are almost always better, too.
as I get older, "You get what you pay for" takes a lot more prevalence, especially with travel.
Also one more for the new parents out there: breastfeeding can be wonderful, but a fed baby is best, and formula is great
Preach! There is a whole apparatus set up to make you feel bad for using it, but formula was invented for a damned good reason. Both our kids were formula-fed after the first two months and they’re doing great.
Technically I suppose this advice is too late for college graduates, unless you feel like you "settled" somewhere, but: nobody cares where you went to college. Yes, you will possibly get granted more initial interviews than someone else if you went to an Ivy or the same college as the hiring manager, but the difference in education between your local state school and the dream school is nowhere near the difference in actual cost, and ten years after you leave nobody will care which one you went to if you're doing the things you were hired to do well.
Absolutely true.
When the previous homeowner leaves behind poison ivy killer in the garage, have a clear understanding of what poison ivy looks like before landscaping, and/or wear long sleeves and pants.
Good rule of thumb is to befriend the nature lover in your neighborhood. They know the invasives, the poisonous, the good growth and how to make it all work.
I pulled out a huge amount of dead/ugly/overgrown bushes and vines last year. I learned there was poison ivy back there the hard way. This summer, the poison ivy has come back in force. I think it's growing between my privacy face and my backyard neighbor's. Bad scenes back there right now.
I'm just glad that I am not very allergic to it, I can crawl around and pull a bunch for an hour or two and end up with a few itchy blisters on my knuckles. I know a lot of ppl are barely able to see the stuff without breaking out everywhere. This year seems worse than recent memory, might be the price I pay for removing all the other growth and leaving room for the weeds to take over.
Oh no! Looks like we can relate.
#15 is spot on. Always let the people close to you know they matter and why. If the situation calls for it, do it on nice stationery.
No one is ever going to be harder on you than you are on yourself. Don't beat yourself up too much - just learn from mistakes and give yourself some grace when needed.
Natural deodorant does not work.
Floss.
My go-to work advice: Nobody is irreplaceable, but replacing someone is not easy. This advice cuts both ways - if you slack too much, your company can and will replace you. But it won't be easy and most places know this, so employees get a lot more rope than they think. But honestly, most people never get to this point with a job.
Where this lesson is much less obvious is on the other end - you should never stay at a job longer than you want because you're afraid of what will happen to your coworkers if your work doesn't get done. Worrying about that is your boss's job, no matter how high up in the company you are. Your work will get handed off to other people, they will learn the ropes, and sooner than you'd think, things will be back to running smoothly. Your career is your responsibility to yourself, you cannot hold it back in fear of what will happen to others.
I need to read this every day. Not so much for work reallocation but because I keep sticking around out of a sense of obligation to people I hired, even though I’m not managing the contract any longer