56 Comments
Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

RANK POSSUMS YOU COWARD

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Working in automobile claims, I’ve had claims where a chipmunk totaled a vehicle. It was a car that sat in a garage over the winter and a family of chipmunks made their home in it, chewing away at all the wires, using the ventilation system like suspicious space people in Among Us and eating the seats and upholstery.

Granted the car was a mid ‘00’s Camry or something but they did a HELUVA JOB on this car and we totaled it.

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Sir, I represent the Sloth Anti-Defamation League. On behalf of my client, I have been authorized to demand a retraction of your scurrilous anti-Sloth slander. My client feels so strongly about this that a protest and picket of your facility is imminently scheduled.

Expect the Sloth Armada as soon as possible, in 3-4 months.

Govern yourself accordingly.

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Have you seen the Nova Scotia Racoon Whisperer? And his literal army of fuzzy woodland critters? Consider taking a look, and experience the joy of watching a Canadian man feed roughly 30 racoons five pounds of hotdogs. (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrUI5mqQeZTiWui5UF0DsxA)

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

I would like to protest the UNFAIR application of criteria being applied here. How can you ding squirrels for also being everywhere but then turn around and give racoons the number one spot!? As someone who almost died on my bike in the middle of DC when a racoon came running out into the street, I take extreme offense to this.

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Oh man (and daughter), you're in my wheelhouse now! These rankings are fine, great in fact. Raccoons are rock stars, no question. However, there are two serious omissions. The first one is the wolf, meaning the real woodland timber wolf, not the coyote. The second is the ultimate badass woodland creature, the wolverine. You don't want to mess with either of these animals. They are not cute. Of course, as a Canadian I would like to see the beaver in there, but you can't have everything.

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Bunnies #1. Woodland creatures should be judged solely by cuteness. That you called them “Rabbits” shows your inherent bias. 🐰

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Trash panda at #1? All I can say is someone more savvy than I needs to drop evidence that Lynx Rufus would punch any of these lower woodland creatures in the face.

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

fuck that squirrel.

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Looking though the lens of personal or property damage, I'd go: 10. Bear; 9. Deer; 8. Raccoon; 7. Skunk; 6. Fox; 5. Chipmunk; 4. Squirrel; 3. Rabbit; 2. Hedgehog; 1. Owl

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

If I had my way, deer would be last. Stupid rats with hooves. Ask my corgi how she likes them, you'd get a 2 hour lecture on their uselessness, if my corgi could talk

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Nov 26, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

I'm late to the party, but no one has mentioned the bobcat. Near-mythical rarity, cute tufted ears, silent AND deadly.

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founding
Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Seems like wolves got omitted purely for their tendency to eat most of the rest of the top 10.

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Finally, someone has the stones to come out and say it.

This season of Bake Off just isn’t hitting the mark.

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Nov 16, 2020Liked by Scott Hines

Raccoons are number one if you like rabies and literal brain worms from their poop.

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The clear speciesism displayed here against loveable birds and their place amongst woodland creatures shall not be forgotten.

And yes, I googled speciesism, it’s a real thing.......I think

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