38 Comments
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ALLOW MULTI-FAMILY ZONING!

Thank (?) you for reminding us that, no matter how places and circumstances change, Nextdoor doesn't.

Expand full comment

You put way too much thought into this. Please don't ever stop doing that.

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

THE HOA CHARTER CLEARLY STATES THAT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD IS NOT ZONED FOR LIVESTOCK AND REINDEER ARE OFFICIALLY CATERGORIZED AS LIVESTOCK. ADDITIONALLY REINDEER FARTS PRODUCE MORE METHANE THAN DRIVING A HUMMER. I THOUGHT YOU LIBTARDS CARED ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.

Expand full comment
founding
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

“We have seen a lot of The Wrong Kind of People (brown, with antlers) in the neighborhood recently…”

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

An invader has been coming to my inbox three times a week with straight-up nonsense has anyone else had that problem lately?

Expand full comment
author

STRANGE MAN IN EMAILS. SOMETIMES RECIPES, SOMETIMES EMOTIONAL TERRORISM?

Expand full comment

we did it Scott we found the Action Cookbook tagline!

Expand full comment

So sad.

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

In Texas, even in December, there would have been this exchange.

"What kind of snake is this?"

"It's a coral snake, white on red, you'll be dead"

"That's a candy cane decoration"

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Utterly deranged.

And that is my highest compliment.

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

I really hope his surfing next door as research for this column didn’t break Scott.

Expand full comment

We have a Facebook group for my town of 6,000-ish people, and the only thing missing from this is someone complaining that people don't know how to use the search function for previously answered questions, followed by the flood of sarcastic posts that ask the same question that was being asked.

IT'S A NEW TACO BELL! THEY ALREADY EXPLAINED THIS!

Expand full comment
author

ooh this is true, this is a reliable occurrence.

Expand full comment

I joined a neighborhood listserve years ago and a substantial number of the posts were things people could have found out on google if they had bestirred themselves. I decided to stop logging in when I caught myself about to reply with a link from LMGTFY. Decided that Nextdoor would only be worse & never signed up.

Expand full comment

My being in the town's Facebook group is largely defensive so that we can know if someone is craptalking my wife (who is a teacher at the middle school) because yes, they will do that and not think anything of it.

Expand full comment

my sister in law's husband is the union rep for his local school in a very conservative town in southern New Jersey so based on the things the locals have posted about the two of them in the clear on Facebook, I am not surprised at all.

Expand full comment
founding
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Made my skin crawl.I have never abandoned something with such a quickness as nextdoor.

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Yup. Most terrifying email?

"You have 20+ unread messages on Nextdoor."

No, I don't think I will.

Expand full comment
founding

Throwing my phone in the river

Expand full comment
founding
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Mother of God.

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

My god this is EERILY accurate.

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

I hate you for reminding me I need to reply to an HOA-related email on a Monday morning.

Expand full comment

been there, done that, got the ulcer.

Expand full comment

This is great!!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you!

Expand full comment
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

I feel like this needs the live action adaptation treatment.

Expand full comment
founding
Dec 19, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Fantastic, Scott.

Expand full comment

Of course his name is Dick

Expand full comment