I’m reminded of the time when my wife asked why we were keeping various bottles of liquor that weren’t getting used, which ended up with a number of bottles being left on the front steps for her friends to choose from - everything went except for a bottle of Strega that my parents left here for when they visited. I’m damned if I can make it palatable so it’s still in the liquor cabinet partly as a memento, partly in case I ever need to make a Molotov cocktail and don’t have time to siphon any gas out of my car.
I love that the Red Velvet Cupcake Cookie Dough Bites soda is "The Original", suggesting that there is a slew of imitation Red Velvet Cupcake Cookie Dough Bites sodas that the discerning connoisseurs should eschew for this one.
I have told this tale elsewhere on the internet, but it feels fitting here.
I had a roommate in my 20s that was fond - at the time - of a nameless concoction that consisted of Diet Mt Dew and absolut citron, stirred on the rocks.
One night we'd thrown a light shindig and depleted our ice supply. Times were desperate as we scoured the kitchen for something to mix cocktails. Deep in the freezer I found a variety of FlaVorIce. (you may know them as otter pops, the branding is apparently very regional but I assure you you'd recognize the concept).
My thought had been to place an unopened packet in the glass and stir to achieve cold. Kevin had different ideas. Bold ideas. Ideas that change the world.
He dumped a grape FlaVorIce into his Mt Dew and vodka mixture and swirled. Thus was born a drink that tasted precisely like a grape skittle, down to the slightly unsettling artificial grape flavor notes. It was of course immediately dubbed The Grape Skittle.
I think I got a hangover reading this. I started to feel bad for you half way through, Scott.... Until I realized that you made all of these deranged purchases at some point. I can only hope that most were made under the mild to moderate influence of alcohol.
Good lord. As a non-Coke drinker (and of course, as a Southerner, all carbonated soft drinks are Cokes, irrespective of brand, type, or level of unholiness), the array of Ross-Chastain-at-Martinsville-level IDGAF in those Cokes is horrifying before you even get to the liquor.
And seriously, if y'all don't know what I mean by Ross Chastain at Martinsville, look up last night's NASCAR race. Also look at Spencer's Twitter for the dude who set it to Free Bird. I'm still giggling.
Oct 31, 2022·edited Oct 31, 2022Liked by Scott Hines
"Cabbage Cocktail" is interesting - I swear I've seen one that has red cabbage (or maybe water infused with red cabbage) in it, because it has multiple colors.
I believe they were using it as some sort of pH indicator.
As a Mainer, I knew exactly 2 people who enjoyed Moxie. One was my grandfather, who to him that WAS soda and the new stuff just wasn't what he wanted. The other, my childhood friend who somehow tried to convince all of us that it was a good drink. It is not good.
"Yes, I'll have a Snyder's Pretzels on the rocks."
That sounds deeply awful.
I don't feel so good
I’m reminded of the time when my wife asked why we were keeping various bottles of liquor that weren’t getting used, which ended up with a number of bottles being left on the front steps for her friends to choose from - everything went except for a bottle of Strega that my parents left here for when they visited. I’m damned if I can make it palatable so it’s still in the liquor cabinet partly as a memento, partly in case I ever need to make a Molotov cocktail and don’t have time to siphon any gas out of my car.
Insanely cackling at each new ingredient reveal.
I love that the Red Velvet Cupcake Cookie Dough Bites soda is "The Original", suggesting that there is a slew of imitation Red Velvet Cupcake Cookie Dough Bites sodas that the discerning connoisseurs should eschew for this one.
Thank you for your sacrifice.
I have told this tale elsewhere on the internet, but it feels fitting here.
I had a roommate in my 20s that was fond - at the time - of a nameless concoction that consisted of Diet Mt Dew and absolut citron, stirred on the rocks.
One night we'd thrown a light shindig and depleted our ice supply. Times were desperate as we scoured the kitchen for something to mix cocktails. Deep in the freezer I found a variety of FlaVorIce. (you may know them as otter pops, the branding is apparently very regional but I assure you you'd recognize the concept).
My thought had been to place an unopened packet in the glass and stir to achieve cold. Kevin had different ideas. Bold ideas. Ideas that change the world.
He dumped a grape FlaVorIce into his Mt Dew and vodka mixture and swirled. Thus was born a drink that tasted precisely like a grape skittle, down to the slightly unsettling artificial grape flavor notes. It was of course immediately dubbed The Grape Skittle.
I think I got a hangover reading this. I started to feel bad for you half way through, Scott.... Until I realized that you made all of these deranged purchases at some point. I can only hope that most were made under the mild to moderate influence of alcohol.
Good lord. As a non-Coke drinker (and of course, as a Southerner, all carbonated soft drinks are Cokes, irrespective of brand, type, or level of unholiness), the array of Ross-Chastain-at-Martinsville-level IDGAF in those Cokes is horrifying before you even get to the liquor.
And seriously, if y'all don't know what I mean by Ross Chastain at Martinsville, look up last night's NASCAR race. Also look at Spencer's Twitter for the dude who set it to Free Bird. I'm still giggling.
To get the true Moxie experience, you need to have the unofficial Maine State Drink: the Burnt Trailer.
Equal parts Moxie, Allen’s Coffee Brandy and Fireball (all proudly produced in the State Of Maine)
Can be served over ice or as a shot, your choice.
Unnecessary Chicago pride?
UNNECESSARY CHICAGO PRIDE?!
"Cabbage Cocktail" is interesting - I swear I've seen one that has red cabbage (or maybe water infused with red cabbage) in it, because it has multiple colors.
I believe they were using it as some sort of pH indicator.
I assume for this you did the 'dip a straw and plug it with your finger to pull up a sample' method or that you are in very rough shape today.
Trick or treat
Smell defeat
Throw these cocktails
In the street
Happy Halloween for as long as you celebrate (the hangover counts as part of the holiday).
How are these not all photoshops. I refuse to believe these are real sodas.
Reading this, I felt like Nicholas Cage in 8mm, just getting more and more uncomfortable as the list went on.
As a Mainer, I knew exactly 2 people who enjoyed Moxie. One was my grandfather, who to him that WAS soda and the new stuff just wasn't what he wanted. The other, my childhood friend who somehow tried to convince all of us that it was a good drink. It is not good.
Was halfway expecting a Flaming Moe style ending but I'm glad you didn't