4th attempt at a comment without getting on a soapbox.
We are not winning because we have already lost. We lost when we stopped "loving the game." We lost when we are just focused on wins and losses who cares about the carnage that preceded or follows. We keep trying to say that we are better and learned from the past, but google "Canton McKinley football" and tell me how that coach learned anything but to continue the cycle.
We have kids as young as 5 in year round athletic events, pigeon holing them on the first sport that they show interest in because we are at the point of seeing dollar signs and scholarship potential and not whether the child cares. We have Netflix shows on these same kids as they get older for our viewing pleasure and judgement.
We have forgotten about fundamentals of sports. We turn on an NBA game and routinely see multiple players score 30 points on one team and say why not 40 but we don't care if there isn't an ounce of defense from the other side. Or what a dribble looks like. We don't care what a good teammate is just whether they are the one who can make our team win.
We are so scared to just love the game and be average that it's killing sports and the love of the game.
Last season I (hilariously) coached my kids U8 hockey team - after not slapping on the skates for a good 3 years I was now skating twice a week at 60 minute practices. His favorite part was the different drills and just hanging out with his teammates (a welcome respite in the times of remote school)
After evaluations at the end of the year he leveled up and I got a call from the new coach asking me if he was playing any summer hockey to keep the competitive juices going. I told him he’s doing lacrosse this spring, which seemed to be an acceptable answer but what I wanted to say is “THE KIDS ON THIS TEAM ARE 6/7/8 YEARS OLD FOR FUCKS SAKE”
I really hope my intuition is wrong about this guy.
I played on a rec softball league a number of years ago for a decidedly mediocre team and one of the guys on our team was thrown out of the game for arguing. Then he had to be escorted off the grounds because he then started yelling from the stands. It was as mortifying as I suppose a rec softball game can be. I'm sure he's coaching girls tee-ball somewhere now.
I'm doing a kind of insomniac, Charlie Kelly galaxy brain thing here, but do you think it's a similar instinct in place for both sports and money that incentivizes keeping the one-in-a-million scenario in the front of our minds because we all think we're gonna be the one to strike it rich or go pro?
Shoot, even having winning seasons gets written off. Not a surprise because sports media (and the dunderheaded owners' men among the fanbase) can overlook anything in order to attack players and teams. But even seasons that don't Go All The Way *spits out wad of tobacco in the shape of a flexing arm* can be fun and enlightening. This past year, in the bubble season and pandemic season, I've become a closer follower of basketball than ever before (it helps to have cable now).
Even losing teams can yield something fun and creative to watch - the promise of seeing the players tasked with a rebuild develop chemistry together and showcase their athletic excellence, a funky little competitor nobody expected like last year's OKC (mentored by a familiar face on the court) or the ragtag Brooklyn team that D'Angelo Russell helped lead nought but two years ago, or just plain fun basketball.
I've had to look for that this season as a Celtics fan - the deep playoff run, short offseason, COVID, injuries, makeup game schedule, and lack of real practice time was a perfect storm that they nearly overcame a few times before the cost of not having overcome it soon enough added to the toll on their season and their bodies. There were missteps in strategy and play, for sure.
But the fun, the chemistry, the promise of whatever lineup survives this offseason* was so ridiculously enthralling to watch. It galls me that the highlights and the real achievements have already been written off.
It's still a game, and the point of games is fun.
*my only absolute must-keeps are Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum, and Rob Williams. Everybody else goes into "depends on what we get for them", "would be nice to keep, sure", "trade them to open up cap space", and "Tacko Fall".
So, there is this soccer player that is probably the most talented to ever suit for the team I root for (Corinthians). His name is Rivellino and he was a starter on what is considered the most talented soccer team ever (the Brazilian national team that won 1970 World Cup).
During the time Rivellino played for Corinthians (that is, most of his career), the team was in the middle of a 23-year title drought. To put things into context, it should be noted that, at the time, there were 3 relevant competitions a year (a state league, a national league, and an interstate league), so things at the time were even more dire for the team than it seems.
After his carreer was over, Rivellino said in an interview that he would trade the 1970 World Cup victory for any title while he played for Corinthians.
The first time I read that statement, I thought it was soooo cool. Now I just think it is sad (for him, because even he couldn't be satisfied with a brilliant carreer for the team).
A couple of years late to the party, but just wanted to thank you, Scott, for writing this.
I'm head coaching my son's 9/10 baseball team for the 2nd straight season, and it's been one of the most rewarding and interesting things I've ever done. I share your view about youth sports - none of these kids are going pro, so let's ensure they have fun, burn calories, make new friends, and take away some lessons they can apply to life (e.g., managing success and failure, picking up their teammates after disappointments, the value of practice and incremental improvement). I remember what it was like to be a kid and play baseball for a dickhead coach, so I never yell or criticize a kid for a mistake and basically aspire to be relentlessly positive and optimistic like Pete Carroll or Ted Lasso.
All that said, man, when we lose it stings like a mofo. We blew a big lead and lost a heartbreaker in extra innings this week (with my son on the mound no less) and I've agonized about it for a solid 24 hours. Even though I know it means nothing and I certainly don't want the kids feeling bad, I still find myself thinking about all the mistakes my team made and feeling like "agh." I know I'm doing it and how silly it is, so I kind of have to just smile and laugh to myself about myself, but the agony is real.
Seen some parents (including my assistant coaches) acting like total asses, yelling at umpires, criticizing their kids, heckling kids on the other team. I've coached some kids who don't care at all and are only playing to earn time on their Nintendo Switch, others who care too much and openly start bawling on the field when something goes wrong, some who incessantly complain about the umpire every time they strike out looking, some who make it hard to play silly games at practice because they're obsessed about the rules (future litigators), some who are literally blowing bubbles with their gum in the middle of their pitching windup. It's so interesting.
Not sure where I was going with this other than to say that coaching these teams has provided me with some fascinating insight into myself and others, and I feel like I share your perspective. I also feel like I'm a better parent and human for having done it, and even though it's been a lot of work and I've expended a ton of mental energy, I'm going to seriously miss it when it's over.
I am a convert to this way of thinking as I have become an adult. Rings, titles, and the Gators winning were super important for me growing up. Not as much for me now as long as I am having a good time*. A game like we lost to LSU last year on a shoe throw would have ruined my weekend and possibly Monday also. The hilarity of it had me already forgetting that it ruined our playoff hopes (didn't think after that performance we could beat Bama anyway).
To give credit where credit is due, a large portion of that has come from the EDSBS/Twitter community. There is just so much fun in college football that if you just blindly live and die for one team you will miss out on so much more fun stuff. This article from Jason Kirk in 2014 des a much better job than I am doing:
I was talking about this with a buddy of mine that I would rather the Gators go 8-4 with 11 or 12 good and competitive games instead of 11-1 with only one or two games to get excited about. For a lot of games that is all I am asking for.
As a mid to late-30s dad with 5 year-old twins, I don't get a lot of refuge in the daily routine. I am just hoping for some well played football on Saturdays with real stakes where both sides care. Watching the Gators whoop up on a directional or divisional opponent that doesn't have a realistic shot just doesn't do it anymore for me.
*-Does not apply to Peyton Manning who I will always resent because he had fewer rings/wins than my idol, Danny Wuerffel, yet somehow always is the "best 1990s college QB". Also does not apply to UGA or Florida State. To Hell with both of them.
Honestly, one of the best parts about Maryland football fandom is the acceptance that you will never contend for a spot in the playoff. Really helps put what are often bad seasons in perspective and helps you appreciate and celebrate on-field successes more.
As a VT alum and fan, clearly winning any team championship in any form is not something I have experience with. I would love for the school to finally win one in something, anything, but that is never the goal for me. The empty trophy case does not invalidate the joy and heartbreak I experience with every athletic contest I watch or follow. Maybe it is easier for me never having been to the mountain top.
4th attempt at a comment without getting on a soapbox.
We are not winning because we have already lost. We lost when we stopped "loving the game." We lost when we are just focused on wins and losses who cares about the carnage that preceded or follows. We keep trying to say that we are better and learned from the past, but google "Canton McKinley football" and tell me how that coach learned anything but to continue the cycle.
We have kids as young as 5 in year round athletic events, pigeon holing them on the first sport that they show interest in because we are at the point of seeing dollar signs and scholarship potential and not whether the child cares. We have Netflix shows on these same kids as they get older for our viewing pleasure and judgement.
We have forgotten about fundamentals of sports. We turn on an NBA game and routinely see multiple players score 30 points on one team and say why not 40 but we don't care if there isn't an ounce of defense from the other side. Or what a dribble looks like. We don't care what a good teammate is just whether they are the one who can make our team win.
We are so scared to just love the game and be average that it's killing sports and the love of the game.
Last season I (hilariously) coached my kids U8 hockey team - after not slapping on the skates for a good 3 years I was now skating twice a week at 60 minute practices. His favorite part was the different drills and just hanging out with his teammates (a welcome respite in the times of remote school)
After evaluations at the end of the year he leveled up and I got a call from the new coach asking me if he was playing any summer hockey to keep the competitive juices going. I told him he’s doing lacrosse this spring, which seemed to be an acceptable answer but what I wanted to say is “THE KIDS ON THIS TEAM ARE 6/7/8 YEARS OLD FOR FUCKS SAKE”
I really hope my intuition is wrong about this guy.
I played on a rec softball league a number of years ago for a decidedly mediocre team and one of the guys on our team was thrown out of the game for arguing. Then he had to be escorted off the grounds because he then started yelling from the stands. It was as mortifying as I suppose a rec softball game can be. I'm sure he's coaching girls tee-ball somewhere now.
I'm doing a kind of insomniac, Charlie Kelly galaxy brain thing here, but do you think it's a similar instinct in place for both sports and money that incentivizes keeping the one-in-a-million scenario in the front of our minds because we all think we're gonna be the one to strike it rich or go pro?
Shoot, even having winning seasons gets written off. Not a surprise because sports media (and the dunderheaded owners' men among the fanbase) can overlook anything in order to attack players and teams. But even seasons that don't Go All The Way *spits out wad of tobacco in the shape of a flexing arm* can be fun and enlightening. This past year, in the bubble season and pandemic season, I've become a closer follower of basketball than ever before (it helps to have cable now).
Even losing teams can yield something fun and creative to watch - the promise of seeing the players tasked with a rebuild develop chemistry together and showcase their athletic excellence, a funky little competitor nobody expected like last year's OKC (mentored by a familiar face on the court) or the ragtag Brooklyn team that D'Angelo Russell helped lead nought but two years ago, or just plain fun basketball.
I've had to look for that this season as a Celtics fan - the deep playoff run, short offseason, COVID, injuries, makeup game schedule, and lack of real practice time was a perfect storm that they nearly overcame a few times before the cost of not having overcome it soon enough added to the toll on their season and their bodies. There were missteps in strategy and play, for sure.
But the fun, the chemistry, the promise of whatever lineup survives this offseason* was so ridiculously enthralling to watch. It galls me that the highlights and the real achievements have already been written off.
It's still a game, and the point of games is fun.
*my only absolute must-keeps are Jaylen Brown, Jayson Tatum, and Rob Williams. Everybody else goes into "depends on what we get for them", "would be nice to keep, sure", "trade them to open up cap space", and "Tacko Fall".
So, there is this soccer player that is probably the most talented to ever suit for the team I root for (Corinthians). His name is Rivellino and he was a starter on what is considered the most talented soccer team ever (the Brazilian national team that won 1970 World Cup).
During the time Rivellino played for Corinthians (that is, most of his career), the team was in the middle of a 23-year title drought. To put things into context, it should be noted that, at the time, there were 3 relevant competitions a year (a state league, a national league, and an interstate league), so things at the time were even more dire for the team than it seems.
After his carreer was over, Rivellino said in an interview that he would trade the 1970 World Cup victory for any title while he played for Corinthians.
The first time I read that statement, I thought it was soooo cool. Now I just think it is sad (for him, because even he couldn't be satisfied with a brilliant carreer for the team).
A couple of years late to the party, but just wanted to thank you, Scott, for writing this.
I'm head coaching my son's 9/10 baseball team for the 2nd straight season, and it's been one of the most rewarding and interesting things I've ever done. I share your view about youth sports - none of these kids are going pro, so let's ensure they have fun, burn calories, make new friends, and take away some lessons they can apply to life (e.g., managing success and failure, picking up their teammates after disappointments, the value of practice and incremental improvement). I remember what it was like to be a kid and play baseball for a dickhead coach, so I never yell or criticize a kid for a mistake and basically aspire to be relentlessly positive and optimistic like Pete Carroll or Ted Lasso.
All that said, man, when we lose it stings like a mofo. We blew a big lead and lost a heartbreaker in extra innings this week (with my son on the mound no less) and I've agonized about it for a solid 24 hours. Even though I know it means nothing and I certainly don't want the kids feeling bad, I still find myself thinking about all the mistakes my team made and feeling like "agh." I know I'm doing it and how silly it is, so I kind of have to just smile and laugh to myself about myself, but the agony is real.
Seen some parents (including my assistant coaches) acting like total asses, yelling at umpires, criticizing their kids, heckling kids on the other team. I've coached some kids who don't care at all and are only playing to earn time on their Nintendo Switch, others who care too much and openly start bawling on the field when something goes wrong, some who incessantly complain about the umpire every time they strike out looking, some who make it hard to play silly games at practice because they're obsessed about the rules (future litigators), some who are literally blowing bubbles with their gum in the middle of their pitching windup. It's so interesting.
Not sure where I was going with this other than to say that coaching these teams has provided me with some fascinating insight into myself and others, and I feel like I share your perspective. I also feel like I'm a better parent and human for having done it, and even though it's been a lot of work and I've expended a ton of mental energy, I'm going to seriously miss it when it's over.
I am a convert to this way of thinking as I have become an adult. Rings, titles, and the Gators winning were super important for me growing up. Not as much for me now as long as I am having a good time*. A game like we lost to LSU last year on a shoe throw would have ruined my weekend and possibly Monday also. The hilarity of it had me already forgetting that it ruined our playoff hopes (didn't think after that performance we could beat Bama anyway).
To give credit where credit is due, a large portion of that has come from the EDSBS/Twitter community. There is just so much fun in college football that if you just blindly live and die for one team you will miss out on so much more fun stuff. This article from Jason Kirk in 2014 des a much better job than I am doing:
https://www.sbnation.com/a/cfb-preview-2017/level-up?fbclid=IwAR2LYDbLiQYc7z3BTobv4EJnulLpWZ7SyWwJMZ2uVxVhS6Lw17XmKs2E4Po
I was talking about this with a buddy of mine that I would rather the Gators go 8-4 with 11 or 12 good and competitive games instead of 11-1 with only one or two games to get excited about. For a lot of games that is all I am asking for.
As a mid to late-30s dad with 5 year-old twins, I don't get a lot of refuge in the daily routine. I am just hoping for some well played football on Saturdays with real stakes where both sides care. Watching the Gators whoop up on a directional or divisional opponent that doesn't have a realistic shot just doesn't do it anymore for me.
*-Does not apply to Peyton Manning who I will always resent because he had fewer rings/wins than my idol, Danny Wuerffel, yet somehow always is the "best 1990s college QB". Also does not apply to UGA or Florida State. To Hell with both of them.
Y'all see Chris Paul is now in Covid protocol? Did you do this with your powers, Cookbook?
Apt, since I am planning to join an Aussie Rules football club here shortly, at age 36.
It's a bad idea, but also might be brilliant?
Honestly, one of the best parts about Maryland football fandom is the acceptance that you will never contend for a spot in the playoff. Really helps put what are often bad seasons in perspective and helps you appreciate and celebrate on-field successes more.
I hear a lot of parents tell me they want their kids to be in youth sports because "it teaches them life lessons.:
Here is the lesson 75% of all kids learn from youth sports: "Sit down and let a more talented person do it."
As a VT alum and fan, clearly winning any team championship in any form is not something I have experience with. I would love for the school to finally win one in something, anything, but that is never the goal for me. The empty trophy case does not invalidate the joy and heartbreak I experience with every athletic contest I watch or follow. Maybe it is easier for me never having been to the mountain top.
GO BEISBOLCATS