"Building a home wind tunnel for your pinewood derby car" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
Wow. That one brings back some memories. My hometown Cub Scout pack consisted about 50% of kids whose dads worked at the Ford plant -- and had lunchtime access to the machine shop and paint room. You ever seen a Pinewood Derby car with clear coat? Yup.
The Old Bobcat was the polar opposite of that. (My eighth-grade educated grandfather explained to his peers that "we had to send him to college because he'd never make a livin' with his hands.") So, Devil Bro and I hacked a car out of the wooden block with a coping saw, spray painted it hot pink, and put a tiny stuffed animal on top as the driver. We also found a nice little block of lead to put on the underside of the car in a carved out cavity; we weren't totally stupid. The Old Bobcat never lifted a finger.
Well, that car *won* our pack derby, much to the Old Bobcat's mirth and the disgust of our local UAW dads. We got smoked at districts, but what I'll always remember is the grandfatherly veteran Cubmaster who went around looking at all the cars and awarding vintage silver dollars to "nice looking" cars. He picked ours. It was the ugliest one there but obviously 100% kid-made. I still have that silver dollar.
I didn't leave my own kids to fend for themselves completely, but like Scott, I made the project very much kid-led. DC#1's bookshelf upstairs still features a charming Pinewood Derby model made to look like a racing pig. It's got a carved snout in the front, two googly eyes, and a pipecleaner tail. (He's cute but not very fast.)
My oldest has his first pinewood derby this weekend. He got out paper and drew up plans for exactly what he wanted. Bright blue and red mario theme. He dug through his legos, found a steering wheel and built a minifig that "looked like him' to mount on top of it. I was really impressed with how much thought he put into it. That being said, it still took every ounce of restraint I could muster to say "great idea, bud. Looks awesome!" instead of "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT LEGO MAN IS GOING TO MESS UP YOUR AERODYNAMICS"
My pinewood derby cars never finished fast, but they had style. One year I got second place in design for making an El Camino racer.
Then there was the year we had to redo the entire competition because one car changed the position of their wheels and blew everyone off the track (we see what you did John).
I'll admit that about once a year I remember the Pinewood Derby exists and think about how I would wreck shop if I got to make a car now (and then I'd lose to the kid who just puts wheels on the unaltered block of wood and I'd spiral into depression so it's best I'm not allowed to participate)
I briefly got excited when, going down the message board rabbit hole, I realized there are adult leagues... excitement that quickly faded when I realized what those adult leagues must be like.
Yeah, the mom's and dads build most of them anyway (my grandpa built all mine because anything beyond a hammer was too tools oriented for my folks) so the ones that enjoy that process a bit too much might be a obsessive. Anyway, the once a year it pops into my head is when I have to buy Trail's End stuff out of obligation/guilt. I had to push all that stuff on friends/family/neighbors so now it's my turn to have to buy it.
so, so great. my now-25-year-old son also won his group, despite us doing zero research or, really, doing anything beyond trying to make something he thought looked cool. i can only describe the workmanship as "mediocre," but he had fun doing it...and he still has that car on a shelf in his apartment.
i made up being a father as i went along in *so* many ways, and so have lots of regrets, mild and not. y'know, like we all do. but that ridiculous pokemon-inflected car we made together still gives me a hitch in my throat whenever i visit him.
On the drive home, he laid out a plan for how his next three years of cars will be Charizard, Squirtle and Mew-themed. Makes sense, stick with a winning formula.
Having re-read this piece thanks to the mention in today’s newsletter, I decided to dive into the comments. Squirtle would be pretty easy to paint onto a car shaped like a VW Bug, but I think Charizard could be achieved by adding small air-scoops to the very front of a tapered nose, painting eyes in place of headlights, extending the A-pillars above the car like horns, and making the “wings” out of late-‘50s-style rear fins.
Consider a 3D router if you really want to geek out on the wood working aspect, as I’m sure you are a master of CAD. I am trying to think how the actual characters could be done in 3D while still meeting the requirements.
My dads trick for our pinewood derby cars growing up was to drill a hole (with center of gravity in mind) and glue a film canister in the wedge of wood. Not only did it look like a cockpit, but this is where we got right up on the maximum weight line. We would go to the post office and “borrow” their scale, putting #8 shotgun shot in there that weighed one gram each until we hit the correct weight. He then would have the postal worker print the weight in case the scale at the derby was inaccurate.
Ahh pinewood derby, good times. I've come to realize that pinewood derby is great accidental life lesson. Every kid gets the same block of wood, wheels and axles, which might lead your young self to believe that everyone is starting from the same point and anyone can win.... until pinewood derby night when you get smoked by all of the kids with engineer dads that have ample free time.
Oh no, I just imagined my husband working with our hypothetical future child(ren) on pinewood derby and I think I might need to either a) pay a witch to guarantee a girl-child, or b) pull an elaborate con to ensure a boy-child would never find out about the Boy Scouts....
Oh my god I forgot they take girls now! I have to become an anti-feminist.
I guess the one saving grace is that my father-in-law, whom I utterly adore but who spent his career building models for wind tunnel testing for Boeing, will likely (based on my husband and my future plans) be too far away to gang up with/against his son on the project....
The Raingutter Regatta was the absolute worst. I can only imagine the number of fathers that would have had to explain the number of “rhythmic blowing for optimal results” in their Google history.
"Building a home wind tunnel for your pinewood derby car" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
Wow. That one brings back some memories. My hometown Cub Scout pack consisted about 50% of kids whose dads worked at the Ford plant -- and had lunchtime access to the machine shop and paint room. You ever seen a Pinewood Derby car with clear coat? Yup.
The Old Bobcat was the polar opposite of that. (My eighth-grade educated grandfather explained to his peers that "we had to send him to college because he'd never make a livin' with his hands.") So, Devil Bro and I hacked a car out of the wooden block with a coping saw, spray painted it hot pink, and put a tiny stuffed animal on top as the driver. We also found a nice little block of lead to put on the underside of the car in a carved out cavity; we weren't totally stupid. The Old Bobcat never lifted a finger.
Well, that car *won* our pack derby, much to the Old Bobcat's mirth and the disgust of our local UAW dads. We got smoked at districts, but what I'll always remember is the grandfatherly veteran Cubmaster who went around looking at all the cars and awarding vintage silver dollars to "nice looking" cars. He picked ours. It was the ugliest one there but obviously 100% kid-made. I still have that silver dollar.
I didn't leave my own kids to fend for themselves completely, but like Scott, I made the project very much kid-led. DC#1's bookshelf upstairs still features a charming Pinewood Derby model made to look like a racing pig. It's got a carved snout in the front, two googly eyes, and a pipecleaner tail. (He's cute but not very fast.)
I laughed out loud when I got to the clear coat part.
Our pack also did the balsa wood "rockets" and a rain gutter boat race. Those are fun too if you get the chance.
Aren’t there clear coats that will reduce air resistance?
My oldest has his first pinewood derby this weekend. He got out paper and drew up plans for exactly what he wanted. Bright blue and red mario theme. He dug through his legos, found a steering wheel and built a minifig that "looked like him' to mount on top of it. I was really impressed with how much thought he put into it. That being said, it still took every ounce of restraint I could muster to say "great idea, bud. Looks awesome!" instead of "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT LEGO MAN IS GOING TO MESS UP YOUR AERODYNAMICS"
"love it, great stuff, what if we put an aerodynamic bubble over the lego man..."
My pinewood derby cars never finished fast, but they had style. One year I got second place in design for making an El Camino racer.
Then there was the year we had to redo the entire competition because one car changed the position of their wheels and blew everyone off the track (we see what you did John).
Love the El Camino idea!
I'll admit that about once a year I remember the Pinewood Derby exists and think about how I would wreck shop if I got to make a car now (and then I'd lose to the kid who just puts wheels on the unaltered block of wood and I'd spiral into depression so it's best I'm not allowed to participate)
I briefly got excited when, going down the message board rabbit hole, I realized there are adult leagues... excitement that quickly faded when I realized what those adult leagues must be like.
Yeah, the mom's and dads build most of them anyway (my grandpa built all mine because anything beyond a hammer was too tools oriented for my folks) so the ones that enjoy that process a bit too much might be a obsessive. Anyway, the once a year it pops into my head is when I have to buy Trail's End stuff out of obligation/guilt. I had to push all that stuff on friends/family/neighbors so now it's my turn to have to buy it.
so, so great. my now-25-year-old son also won his group, despite us doing zero research or, really, doing anything beyond trying to make something he thought looked cool. i can only describe the workmanship as "mediocre," but he had fun doing it...and he still has that car on a shelf in his apartment.
i made up being a father as i went along in *so* many ways, and so have lots of regrets, mild and not. y'know, like we all do. but that ridiculous pokemon-inflected car we made together still gives me a hitch in my throat whenever i visit him.
I have very fond memories of working on projects like this with my dad. I'm glad AC1 has a dad who wants to geek out on projects with him
In this Ted comment, I will discuss how stop lights…
You nailed the Pokémon figure.
Think all of my cars finished last and were definitely done by a child with poor fine motor skills.
On the drive home, he laid out a plan for how his next three years of cars will be Charizard, Squirtle and Mew-themed. Makes sense, stick with a winning formula.
Having re-read this piece thanks to the mention in today’s newsletter, I decided to dive into the comments. Squirtle would be pretty easy to paint onto a car shaped like a VW Bug, but I think Charizard could be achieved by adding small air-scoops to the very front of a tapered nose, painting eyes in place of headlights, extending the A-pillars above the car like horns, and making the “wings” out of late-‘50s-style rear fins.
I'm taking notes.
Consider a 3D router if you really want to geek out on the wood working aspect, as I’m sure you are a master of CAD. I am trying to think how the actual characters could be done in 3D while still meeting the requirements.
Cannot emphasize enough how much Scott’s kiddo’s interest (or lack thereof) mirrored my own pinewood derby experience
My dads trick for our pinewood derby cars growing up was to drill a hole (with center of gravity in mind) and glue a film canister in the wedge of wood. Not only did it look like a cockpit, but this is where we got right up on the maximum weight line. We would go to the post office and “borrow” their scale, putting #8 shotgun shot in there that weighed one gram each until we hit the correct weight. He then would have the postal worker print the weight in case the scale at the derby was inaccurate.
Ahh pinewood derby, good times. I've come to realize that pinewood derby is great accidental life lesson. Every kid gets the same block of wood, wheels and axles, which might lead your young self to believe that everyone is starting from the same point and anyone can win.... until pinewood derby night when you get smoked by all of the kids with engineer dads that have ample free time.
Oh no, I just imagined my husband working with our hypothetical future child(ren) on pinewood derby and I think I might need to either a) pay a witch to guarantee a girl-child, or b) pull an elaborate con to ensure a boy-child would never find out about the Boy Scouts....
You're going to end up in a cursed monkey's paw situation here, as there are a handful of girls in our pack, too. That's how the witch gets ya.
Oh my god I forgot they take girls now! I have to become an anti-feminist.
I guess the one saving grace is that my father-in-law, whom I utterly adore but who spent his career building models for wind tunnel testing for Boeing, will likely (based on my husband and my future plans) be too far away to gang up with/against his son on the project....
The Raingutter Regatta was the absolute worst. I can only imagine the number of fathers that would have had to explain the number of “rhythmic blowing for optimal results” in their Google history.
One of my least favorite activities. Primarily because of how "involved" parents were in the process. And why I am so glad my husband took charge.