There's a fun little book called "The Physics of Christmas" which has explanations for all that stuff like how to get a fat man down a chimney, the aerodynamics of reindeer, why Santa is fat in the first place, etc. As a dad, it's fun to make up reasons and/or to fall back on the "magic and wonder" aspects but it does lend a certain gravitas to have a textbook laying around so you can "hmmm, that's a good question, let me go look it up" from time to time
I feel like the Polar Express plot about being able to still hear the bell is effective for papering over the stretchy-est parts of the logic. Guilt is effective for reinforcing belie- yes, I was raised Catholic why do you ask
“I wince at every Christmas movie we watch—and there are far too many that do this—that features some snot-nosed kid character insisting that ‘Santa’s not real, he’s just your parents’.”
I never noticed this much before I had kids, but now that I do, it’s stunning how many “kids” Christmas movies make this a part of the plot. Like, hello!!!! Why even introduce the idea?!
just like in the first five minutes of every movie "SANTA'S NOT REAL, IT'S JUST YOUR PARENTS" and I'm looking at my wife frantically mouthing WHAT DO WE DO DO WE TURN IT OFF?
The Santa Clause is actually the main culprit that I was thinking of. I hadn't seen it as a kid, and a year or two tried to watch it with the kids before NOPE-ing the heck out in the first five minutes when they're all like "Santa isn't real you idiot kids"
I used magic all the way. If you never try to explain anything, nothing goes wrong. Billions of kids in one night with one sleigh? Magic. Portly dude slips down the chimney? Magic. No chimney, so how does he get in? Magic. Any fake santas in the mall or snotty kids in movies are the opposite of magic and don't count ("That's not magic.") Side note: the scene in the film, "Lassie", where the kid tells his sister that Santa is a fraud is a classic great movie scene. Easily handled by the *magic* solution, of course.
I also got told around fifth grade? that if I continued to insist that Santa did not exist, he’d stop delivering presents to me because he exists for everyone who can see the magic. He still continues to come through & I’m 42.
I’m a parent of a 21-month old who has met a few mascots and loved them. He can recognize Santa already but doesn’t know the deal yet. I’m hoping to just pass off “Santa is the mascot of Christmas” for a few years. Any chance it works beyond this year?
You obliquely alluded to this, but do some people really try to act like all presents are Santa presents? My cousin tried to play that even for gifts from us, but I just thought she was being her usual extra self, not that this was A Thing people did.
Dec 5, 2022·edited Dec 5, 2022Liked by Scott Hines
This piece introduces the most important, but fraught debate, does your kids Santa presents come wrapped or unwrapped??? In my wife's family, filled stockings and "Santa" presents are left out and arranged on like a table or couch. This was explained to me as being both more exciting and to maintain the illusion by eliminating the use of similar wrapping paper. While in my family Santa presents were wrapped and marked as from Santa (oddly, with my Dad's distinctive handwriting). Curious where people come down on this issue?
My son is 9, and I think he figured out the Santa gambit like 3+ years ago but decided to let it ride just in case knowing about Santa meant no Santa presents. We had to have the "help Santa by not ruining it for your sister." My 6 yo asked me last night if Santa was real, cause some friends at school said he wasn't. I'm thinking my son may be breaking his word.
Parents from the Midwest and Santa did not wrap. He did put everything together though, so he tended to handle gifts like the bicycle & Barbie Dream House
As a kid my parents did big stuff from Santa unwrapped, but still in packaging, smaller stuff from parents wrapped, with an occasional "from Santa" wrapped gift. My wife's family did Santa gifts unwrapped and set up like Scott and wrapped gifts from parents.
For our kids we do unwrapped and a mix of out of box + set up and some still in packaging from Santa that we arrange on little Ikea cube tables by the tree. That way they have a mix of stuff to play with right away and some stuff to open/assemble later. Gifts from us are wrapped. Stockings are 100% from Santa, usually smaller toys and those plastic candy canes filled with other candy.
Remember any damage you do, the therapist can address later if needed. Although I’ve not heard of anyone needing therapy because parents/Santa conundrum.
There's a fun little book called "The Physics of Christmas" which has explanations for all that stuff like how to get a fat man down a chimney, the aerodynamics of reindeer, why Santa is fat in the first place, etc. As a dad, it's fun to make up reasons and/or to fall back on the "magic and wonder" aspects but it does lend a certain gravitas to have a textbook laying around so you can "hmmm, that's a good question, let me go look it up" from time to time
oh, i'm going to have to check this book out
This sounds like a dangerously effective way to raise a crop of engineers, and the good lord knows we already have too many of those.
"how to get a fat man down a chimney" blender.
I feel like the Polar Express plot about being able to still hear the bell is effective for papering over the stretchy-est parts of the logic. Guilt is effective for reinforcing belie- yes, I was raised Catholic why do you ask
My daughter started her letter to Santa, “Dear Satan”, so you know we are doing great here.
“Daddy I got everything I asked for but my heart feels cold”
My wife and I agree, Satan probably gives better presents. Bigger concern is daughter has failed to think big enough on her requests.
My phone auto corrects Satan to Saban (and vice versa, oddly), so I want to know what Apple knows that I do not.
That makes your phone an Auburn fan.
Ehhhhh I went to Arkansas for grad school and he was the source of quite a lot of my pain.
“I wince at every Christmas movie we watch—and there are far too many that do this—that features some snot-nosed kid character insisting that ‘Santa’s not real, he’s just your parents’.”
I never noticed this much before I had kids, but now that I do, it’s stunning how many “kids” Christmas movies make this a part of the plot. Like, hello!!!! Why even introduce the idea?!
just like in the first five minutes of every movie "SANTA'S NOT REAL, IT'S JUST YOUR PARENTS" and I'm looking at my wife frantically mouthing WHAT DO WE DO DO WE TURN IT OFF?
I've gotten *really* good with fast-forwarding, since now I have all these movies memorized 😃
I somehow forgot that the entire premise of The Santa Clause is half the characters claiming Santa isn't real.
The Santa Clause is actually the main culprit that I was thinking of. I hadn't seen it as a kid, and a year or two tried to watch it with the kids before NOPE-ing the heck out in the first five minutes when they're all like "Santa isn't real you idiot kids"
I used magic all the way. If you never try to explain anything, nothing goes wrong. Billions of kids in one night with one sleigh? Magic. Portly dude slips down the chimney? Magic. No chimney, so how does he get in? Magic. Any fake santas in the mall or snotty kids in movies are the opposite of magic and don't count ("That's not magic.") Side note: the scene in the film, "Lassie", where the kid tells his sister that Santa is a fraud is a classic great movie scene. Easily handled by the *magic* solution, of course.
I also got told around fifth grade? that if I continued to insist that Santa did not exist, he’d stop delivering presents to me because he exists for everyone who can see the magic. He still continues to come through & I’m 42.
This is the way to do it, you're absolutely right.
I’m a parent of a 21-month old who has met a few mascots and loved them. He can recognize Santa already but doesn’t know the deal yet. I’m hoping to just pass off “Santa is the mascot of Christmas” for a few years. Any chance it works beyond this year?
Oooh, this is an interesting strategy.
You obliquely alluded to this, but do some people really try to act like all presents are Santa presents? My cousin tried to play that even for gifts from us, but I just thought she was being her usual extra self, not that this was A Thing people did.
Well, now that you mention it, I guess I don’t really know what other people do.
That’s kinda why I wanted to mention it and see if we could flush any of them out of the brush
This was perfectly timed as my wife and I were just discussing last night how ridiculous it is that we basically gaslight our kids all December lol.
This piece introduces the most important, but fraught debate, does your kids Santa presents come wrapped or unwrapped??? In my wife's family, filled stockings and "Santa" presents are left out and arranged on like a table or couch. This was explained to me as being both more exciting and to maintain the illusion by eliminating the use of similar wrapping paper. While in my family Santa presents were wrapped and marked as from Santa (oddly, with my Dad's distinctive handwriting). Curious where people come down on this issue?
My son is 9, and I think he figured out the Santa gambit like 3+ years ago but decided to let it ride just in case knowing about Santa meant no Santa presents. We had to have the "help Santa by not ruining it for your sister." My 6 yo asked me last night if Santa was real, cause some friends at school said he wasn't. I'm thinking my son may be breaking his word.
we tend toward the "Santa gifts unwrapped and already set up", yeah
Wife's family is from NC, and wondering if this is a regional thing.
Parents from the Midwest and Santa did not wrap. He did put everything together though, so he tended to handle gifts like the bicycle & Barbie Dream House
As a kid my parents did big stuff from Santa unwrapped, but still in packaging, smaller stuff from parents wrapped, with an occasional "from Santa" wrapped gift. My wife's family did Santa gifts unwrapped and set up like Scott and wrapped gifts from parents.
For our kids we do unwrapped and a mix of out of box + set up and some still in packaging from Santa that we arrange on little Ikea cube tables by the tree. That way they have a mix of stuff to play with right away and some stuff to open/assemble later. Gifts from us are wrapped. Stockings are 100% from Santa, usually smaller toys and those plastic candy canes filled with other candy.
Both of our families are from Virginia.
Olaf vs Santa
Holly vs Santa
Hmmm, which one is funnier?
Remember any damage you do, the therapist can address later if needed. Although I’ve not heard of anyone needing therapy because parents/Santa conundrum.
My 6yo daughter just yesterday asked me if Santa knows what she's thinking! The 6yo cabal is planning something.