My hometown of Morristown, NJ has quite a few bars and restaurants, which means there are quite a few Death Spots. One is an unlikely location for a Death Spot --it's on the same block as the local performing arts center, so you should be able to do a brisk trade with the pre-theatre crowd. Yet, every 18-24 months or so, there's a new restaurant operating in the space, with the incumbent tenant shuttering for any number of reasons. There was another (literal) Death Spot next to the town hall --back in the early 19th century, a laborer murdered his employers and a (potentially, the historical record isn't clear) enslaved woman on the property. The man was convicted and hanged on the town green (and his skin was turned into leather), but he was only tried for the murder of the free employers, so the enslaved woman's ghost is said to haunt the property, which hosted multiple restaurants. The building that hosted the restaurants was ultimately torn down and replaced with a Capital One Bank when I was in high school, which was robbed once.
Meanwhile, I'm off to the Cookbook Falls Community Credit Union for a business loan to open my new restaurant "Un-Bao-lievable!" At Un-Bao-lievable! you can order steamed bao with different types of fillings, from traditional Char Siu Bao to more adventurous ones, including one with Mexican chorizo and Cholula, or a gyros and tzaziki-filled bao.
May 18, 2022·edited May 18, 2022Liked by Scott Hines
There's a close relative of the Death Spot near me- the place where a chain restaurant failed years ago, and now there are occasional squatters on the premises, using the parking lot to sell flags or BBQ or haircuts or etc. The address is 1102 S High St., Columbus, OH, if you're interested in looking on Google Maps.
This place has been a closed Long John Silver's for damn near a decade. It sits right at the intersection of High St. and Greenlawn in Columbus, right near an entrance/exit to I-71. But, you can't enter the parking lot from High St., and at that particular intersection, you're not allowed to turn left on to High in either direction. The parking lot is also set up in such a way as to make a drive-thru a real PITA to set up, though Long John Silver's tried. The link below is a picture for you.
As for my restaurant idea, it is a fusion spot, combining a love of video games with a familial food tradition of Eastern Europe. Have gołąbki while you game, nosh on piernik while you power up, chow down on a kielbasa before killing the bad guys. That's right, it is Gdańsk Gdańsk Revolution!
The local Death Spot has been a Baskin Robins and 2 different wing places in recent memory. It is surrounded by other restaurants that do just fine. However, the local version of Chipotle (that predates Chipotle by 30 years) has moved in, despite staying in business across the street for many years.
Cookbook Falls newest restaurant would be "Low and Slow". Building off the fondue restaurant craze along with the popularity of hibachi, this restaurant combines both. Crockpots sit on every table and you get to watch your food cook for 6-14 hours before enjoying it. (no you may not leave the restaurant during cook time).
We have a Death Spot that was one restaurant for years. After it closed it's lifespan was about 3 different Italian restaurants, an Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza, a Greek place, a fitness center and now (I think) a yoga studio? It's on a main drag and for the life of me I can't figure out why no place could stay for what felt more like a year or two. Ghosts? I think ghosts.
I am currently working on securing funding for a bread bakery named "The Yeasty Boys." Our bread will be passable at best but if you want a place that really leans into Licensed to Ill, look no further.
1). I don't think we had a name for it, but I know of what you speak and "Death Spot" is as good as any.
2). So, Livonia, where I grew up, is a prototypical Midwestern suburb that was still building up when I was growing up and we lived on the less developed end of town. I still work there (at my old high school) so I know what I am looking for and I cannot place my finger on a death spot here in the L, because strip malls are gonna strip mall, but just down the street from Stevenson, about 3/4 of a mile, just before the intersection that has the mall that opened in the early 90s (that killed the mall several miles East that opened in the 1960s), there's a big anchor restaurant of the strip mall that is front facing. It has been at least six things since it was a Boston Market. I miss it being a Boston Market, since some days you just want poorly made mac and cheese and to feel horrible about yourself after work.
3). My Pitch is...The Toledo Strip
It's a Michigan/Ohio fusion restaurant. So we'll have Coneys, but we'll also have Tony Packo's style Hungarian chili hot dogs. We'll have bumpy cake, but we'll also have Graeter's ice cream on top of it. We'll have Almond Boneless Chicken, but we'll also have Cincinnati Chili. We'll have Vernors and Faygo, but we'll also have Cherikee Red.
This will not work and eventually it'll just start serving stuff that was successfully test marketed in Columbus before giving up the ghost.
I've always called these failure spots or "corners of the damned." We had one growing up that managed to be a Schlotzsky's, an ice cream place, another ice cream place, a sort of bar food place called Cherry's that had an arcade, and several other places I cannot remember. I liked the bar the most because they had an arcade.
I have a death proof death spot restaurant — Mexican Fusion. Too many restaurants fuse Mexican food with one thing, like Caribbean food or Korean food, but what if we fused Mexican food with every food?
Menu highlights include
- Beer Battered Lutefisk Tacos
- Greek Salad Nachos
- Burger w/ Jalapeno
- Chicken Tenders Covered in Cheese(the only item on the kids menu)
- Jerk Chicken Enchiladas
- Butter Chicken Burrito
Drink menu consists of a base of either Tequila or Mezcal mixed with the most well known liquor from your country of choice.
There is a Death Spot in my hometown that even today makes absolutely no sense. It's on the main street in town, set along side multiple other businesses and fast food places, parking is good, drive thru works, traffic all makes sense but this place is a Death Spot. Originally opened as a KFC/Taco Bell combo back in the early 2000's. Over the years it dropped the Taco Bell to be just a KFC only, then closed down. Reopened as a Chinese restaurant (closed). Reopened as a Mexican restaurant (closed). Reopened again as this BBQ place but I've never heard of anyone eating there nor is it ever open. It makes no sense at all.
Trying to jump on the latest health food craze "Paleo and Stones" was closed due to multiple health code violations and one massively suspicious fire incident. Originally planned to be a BBQ joint, "Paleo and Stones" took that concept to the rocky end. Food was stored as it was in prehistorical times in the open, under rocks, and up in the rafters. Daily specials included whatever could be sourced from the nearby fishing spot that was downstream from a Dominion Energy electrical plant. Produce was sourced from the nearby Superfund site. When asked about these sources, the owner Steve replied "nature heals all." Famous for its "Bone of the Day Broth Soup" and "The Lawn Bag Salad," Stones lasted 2 days. On the second day, while starting a fire with "free logs" from a nearby Rails to Trails project, the restaurant had to be closed down due to black smoke emanating from the building. Steve has not been seen since riding out of time in his BMW eating a Big Mac.
I lived down the block from a Death Spot in Brooklyn for years. Long before I ever came to the neighborhood, this corner location had been a dry cleaners. After the cleaners closed it became a series of restaurants. It had a large front dining room with a bar and a smaller attached space with a smaller bar at the back/down the side street that could be used as a private event space or secondary dining room. When I first went there, it was a BBQ place and they used the smaller room for performances (and got mad at my friend's group when we turned the seats around so we could talk to each other). Two years later I moved to the neighborhood and it was a different BBQ restaurant. Then it closed and became a Spanish-ish thing, then another Spanish-ish thing, with the small room operating as a separate bar/party room. Then it had some success as a 2nd location for a beloved diner, but they never quite figured out what to do with the small room. I think that's the problem with the space: the rent includes the 2nd space but it's in a weird place on the block and has its own entrance but isn't the main entrance. It's a tough nut to crack. There's been a Shaking Crab at this location for 3-4 years now. I don't understand the appeal of eating crab legs in Park Slope, but it's been really popular, and the back room gets used.
My Cookbook Falls restaurant is my wife's idea: Dips! It's all hummus, guacamole, salsa, tzatziki, baba ghanouj, beer cheese, etc., with your choice of breads/chips/crackers for serving. It's a can't miss business opportunity, and I look forward to moving into that corner location in Brooklyn as soon as the crab fad ends.
May 18, 2022·edited May 18, 2022Liked by Scott Hines
My small (~4000 people) hometown's Death Spot was literally next door to my childhood home. Not downtown, but in a very residential area on Main Street. It has been, at times that I can remember:
A bakery
A pizza shop
A different pizza
A third pizza shop
A fourth pizza shop
A second bakery
A third bakery
A tobacco/vape shop
A bread store
Now is currently a really good coffee shop. I am currently drinking their Highlander Grogg blend that my parents brought up and it's excellent. I hope this business sticks.*
Yes, we have a Death Spot in Ottawa. It has been many things, most recently a Mongolian Hot Pot, but that was quite a while ago. It is located on a triangle of land enclosed by three heavily trafficked divided roads. You can only turn into the parking lot if you are going south on one of those roads. A helicopter would work too.
Our death spot in Sonoma, CA just recently threw us a massive curveball and now it’s a weed dispensary. I’m more bullish on its future than ever before.
I assumed there would be multiple Louisville suggestions of our two dead spots: the highlands KFC and the waterfront restaurant. Despite wishing I had wild stories for why, it’s actually just that the rents are hysterically high.
Concept: Flying Tacos (this may be taken? Possible). Sports bar serving both Buffalo wings and tacos. Not together, unless it’s Buffalo cauliflower, that would be great on a taco. But sometimes you want wings and you also want tacos and FLYING TACOS is here for you. And a bunch of tvs. All bar seating.
I am going to fail this assignment, but I have to share one of the most unique restaurants to ever grace the midwestern earth.
The Kahiki. I can’t do the description of this restaurant justice only to say… a Polynesian restaurant that takes up a city block with a simulated rainforest inside, disco, and gift shop built in the middle of Columbus, Ohio.
It was THE BEST. Too good to last.
I highly encourage a deep dive into the history of The Kahiki.
*shuffles paperwork, commences speech warmup exercises*
This is my magnum opus (dead spot restaurant pitch category). A Taste of the Ohio River. Menu includes, and is limited to (NO SUBSTITUTIONS):
-Deli meat sandwiches with fries and coleslaw on them (at least the bread’s fresh too)
-Salads that have fries and shredded cheese on them
-Pizza, but only available in square tray form and the toppings (edit: including the cheese) go on cold
-The entire Skyline Chili menu
-A robust bourbon selection, but *checks notes* there appears to only be bourbon on the drink menu
-For dessert, peanut butter buckeyes
My hometown of Morristown, NJ has quite a few bars and restaurants, which means there are quite a few Death Spots. One is an unlikely location for a Death Spot --it's on the same block as the local performing arts center, so you should be able to do a brisk trade with the pre-theatre crowd. Yet, every 18-24 months or so, there's a new restaurant operating in the space, with the incumbent tenant shuttering for any number of reasons. There was another (literal) Death Spot next to the town hall --back in the early 19th century, a laborer murdered his employers and a (potentially, the historical record isn't clear) enslaved woman on the property. The man was convicted and hanged on the town green (and his skin was turned into leather), but he was only tried for the murder of the free employers, so the enslaved woman's ghost is said to haunt the property, which hosted multiple restaurants. The building that hosted the restaurants was ultimately torn down and replaced with a Capital One Bank when I was in high school, which was robbed once.
Meanwhile, I'm off to the Cookbook Falls Community Credit Union for a business loan to open my new restaurant "Un-Bao-lievable!" At Un-Bao-lievable! you can order steamed bao with different types of fillings, from traditional Char Siu Bao to more adventurous ones, including one with Mexican chorizo and Cholula, or a gyros and tzaziki-filled bao.
There's a close relative of the Death Spot near me- the place where a chain restaurant failed years ago, and now there are occasional squatters on the premises, using the parking lot to sell flags or BBQ or haircuts or etc. The address is 1102 S High St., Columbus, OH, if you're interested in looking on Google Maps.
This place has been a closed Long John Silver's for damn near a decade. It sits right at the intersection of High St. and Greenlawn in Columbus, right near an entrance/exit to I-71. But, you can't enter the parking lot from High St., and at that particular intersection, you're not allowed to turn left on to High in either direction. The parking lot is also set up in such a way as to make a drive-thru a real PITA to set up, though Long John Silver's tried. The link below is a picture for you.
https://i.postimg.cc/66CHDkbM/Screenshot-2022-05-18-083128.jpg
As for my restaurant idea, it is a fusion spot, combining a love of video games with a familial food tradition of Eastern Europe. Have gołąbki while you game, nosh on piernik while you power up, chow down on a kielbasa before killing the bad guys. That's right, it is Gdańsk Gdańsk Revolution!
Death spot restaurant pitch: CBDSM. CBD infused dishes served by dominatrixes.
The local Death Spot has been a Baskin Robins and 2 different wing places in recent memory. It is surrounded by other restaurants that do just fine. However, the local version of Chipotle (that predates Chipotle by 30 years) has moved in, despite staying in business across the street for many years.
Cookbook Falls newest restaurant would be "Low and Slow". Building off the fondue restaurant craze along with the popularity of hibachi, this restaurant combines both. Crockpots sit on every table and you get to watch your food cook for 6-14 hours before enjoying it. (no you may not leave the restaurant during cook time).
We have a Death Spot that was one restaurant for years. After it closed it's lifespan was about 3 different Italian restaurants, an Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza, a Greek place, a fitness center and now (I think) a yoga studio? It's on a main drag and for the life of me I can't figure out why no place could stay for what felt more like a year or two. Ghosts? I think ghosts.
I am currently working on securing funding for a bread bakery named "The Yeasty Boys." Our bread will be passable at best but if you want a place that really leans into Licensed to Ill, look no further.
1). I don't think we had a name for it, but I know of what you speak and "Death Spot" is as good as any.
2). So, Livonia, where I grew up, is a prototypical Midwestern suburb that was still building up when I was growing up and we lived on the less developed end of town. I still work there (at my old high school) so I know what I am looking for and I cannot place my finger on a death spot here in the L, because strip malls are gonna strip mall, but just down the street from Stevenson, about 3/4 of a mile, just before the intersection that has the mall that opened in the early 90s (that killed the mall several miles East that opened in the 1960s), there's a big anchor restaurant of the strip mall that is front facing. It has been at least six things since it was a Boston Market. I miss it being a Boston Market, since some days you just want poorly made mac and cheese and to feel horrible about yourself after work.
3). My Pitch is...The Toledo Strip
It's a Michigan/Ohio fusion restaurant. So we'll have Coneys, but we'll also have Tony Packo's style Hungarian chili hot dogs. We'll have bumpy cake, but we'll also have Graeter's ice cream on top of it. We'll have Almond Boneless Chicken, but we'll also have Cincinnati Chili. We'll have Vernors and Faygo, but we'll also have Cherikee Red.
This will not work and eventually it'll just start serving stuff that was successfully test marketed in Columbus before giving up the ghost.
I've always called these failure spots or "corners of the damned." We had one growing up that managed to be a Schlotzsky's, an ice cream place, another ice cream place, a sort of bar food place called Cherry's that had an arcade, and several other places I cannot remember. I liked the bar the most because they had an arcade.
I have a death proof death spot restaurant — Mexican Fusion. Too many restaurants fuse Mexican food with one thing, like Caribbean food or Korean food, but what if we fused Mexican food with every food?
Menu highlights include
- Beer Battered Lutefisk Tacos
- Greek Salad Nachos
- Burger w/ Jalapeno
- Chicken Tenders Covered in Cheese(the only item on the kids menu)
- Jerk Chicken Enchiladas
- Butter Chicken Burrito
Drink menu consists of a base of either Tequila or Mezcal mixed with the most well known liquor from your country of choice.
There is a Death Spot in my hometown that even today makes absolutely no sense. It's on the main street in town, set along side multiple other businesses and fast food places, parking is good, drive thru works, traffic all makes sense but this place is a Death Spot. Originally opened as a KFC/Taco Bell combo back in the early 2000's. Over the years it dropped the Taco Bell to be just a KFC only, then closed down. Reopened as a Chinese restaurant (closed). Reopened as a Mexican restaurant (closed). Reopened again as this BBQ place but I've never heard of anyone eating there nor is it ever open. It makes no sense at all.
Trying to jump on the latest health food craze "Paleo and Stones" was closed due to multiple health code violations and one massively suspicious fire incident. Originally planned to be a BBQ joint, "Paleo and Stones" took that concept to the rocky end. Food was stored as it was in prehistorical times in the open, under rocks, and up in the rafters. Daily specials included whatever could be sourced from the nearby fishing spot that was downstream from a Dominion Energy electrical plant. Produce was sourced from the nearby Superfund site. When asked about these sources, the owner Steve replied "nature heals all." Famous for its "Bone of the Day Broth Soup" and "The Lawn Bag Salad," Stones lasted 2 days. On the second day, while starting a fire with "free logs" from a nearby Rails to Trails project, the restaurant had to be closed down due to black smoke emanating from the building. Steve has not been seen since riding out of time in his BMW eating a Big Mac.
I lived down the block from a Death Spot in Brooklyn for years. Long before I ever came to the neighborhood, this corner location had been a dry cleaners. After the cleaners closed it became a series of restaurants. It had a large front dining room with a bar and a smaller attached space with a smaller bar at the back/down the side street that could be used as a private event space or secondary dining room. When I first went there, it was a BBQ place and they used the smaller room for performances (and got mad at my friend's group when we turned the seats around so we could talk to each other). Two years later I moved to the neighborhood and it was a different BBQ restaurant. Then it closed and became a Spanish-ish thing, then another Spanish-ish thing, with the small room operating as a separate bar/party room. Then it had some success as a 2nd location for a beloved diner, but they never quite figured out what to do with the small room. I think that's the problem with the space: the rent includes the 2nd space but it's in a weird place on the block and has its own entrance but isn't the main entrance. It's a tough nut to crack. There's been a Shaking Crab at this location for 3-4 years now. I don't understand the appeal of eating crab legs in Park Slope, but it's been really popular, and the back room gets used.
My Cookbook Falls restaurant is my wife's idea: Dips! It's all hummus, guacamole, salsa, tzatziki, baba ghanouj, beer cheese, etc., with your choice of breads/chips/crackers for serving. It's a can't miss business opportunity, and I look forward to moving into that corner location in Brooklyn as soon as the crab fad ends.
My small (~4000 people) hometown's Death Spot was literally next door to my childhood home. Not downtown, but in a very residential area on Main Street. It has been, at times that I can remember:
A bakery
A pizza shop
A different pizza
A third pizza shop
A fourth pizza shop
A second bakery
A third bakery
A tobacco/vape shop
A bread store
Now is currently a really good coffee shop. I am currently drinking their Highlander Grogg blend that my parents brought up and it's excellent. I hope this business sticks.*
*It won't.
Yes, we have a Death Spot in Ottawa. It has been many things, most recently a Mongolian Hot Pot, but that was quite a while ago. It is located on a triangle of land enclosed by three heavily trafficked divided roads. You can only turn into the parking lot if you are going south on one of those roads. A helicopter would work too.
I’m honestly shocked it was only a Boston Market once.
Our death spot in Sonoma, CA just recently threw us a massive curveball and now it’s a weed dispensary. I’m more bullish on its future than ever before.
I assumed there would be multiple Louisville suggestions of our two dead spots: the highlands KFC and the waterfront restaurant. Despite wishing I had wild stories for why, it’s actually just that the rents are hysterically high.
Concept: Flying Tacos (this may be taken? Possible). Sports bar serving both Buffalo wings and tacos. Not together, unless it’s Buffalo cauliflower, that would be great on a taco. But sometimes you want wings and you also want tacos and FLYING TACOS is here for you. And a bunch of tvs. All bar seating.
I am going to fail this assignment, but I have to share one of the most unique restaurants to ever grace the midwestern earth.
The Kahiki. I can’t do the description of this restaurant justice only to say… a Polynesian restaurant that takes up a city block with a simulated rainforest inside, disco, and gift shop built in the middle of Columbus, Ohio.
It was THE BEST. Too good to last.
I highly encourage a deep dive into the history of The Kahiki.