I was at a holiday party last week where they had lamb lollipops, and the way that a room full of lawyers descended on the tray like locusts is seared in my memory.
There's little to argue with here. Due to a combination of tradition and bizarre ethics rules regarding formal dinners, Washington is the epicenter of "heavy hors d'ouerves," which is essentially a passed form of a full meal but with no place to sit down and eat it.
The pro move is to find a couple of friends and camp out on one of those little three-foot round standing height cocktail tables *immediately* upon arrival. Do NOT cede that space. Having a place to set down the plate allows one to successfully eat pasta, haddock, or even beef tenderloin (all of which I've been served at such events within the past year).
This is seriously a pro move. I can't tell you how many times I've done this. It's "heavy hors d'ouerves" but all from the same cookbook. I wish we could move on from bacon wrapped scallops.
This is another great example -- I love a bacon-wrapped scallop, but that's a food that needs to be sliced in half and consumed with a fork. If I try to bite into one while standing, the bacon is falling right off.
Some were traditional cocktail weenies, some were chunks of chorizo(with a sweeter dough, worked wonderfully), some were kielbasa; they came with multiple dipping sauces in little cups.
My company's holiday party last year had a mashed potato bar. Piping hot mashed taters served in cocktail coupe glasses, which you could top with cheese, bacon, scallions, etc. Easy to eat while standing around chatting with coworkers.
Those little round balls made with bisquick, bulk sausage, and shredded cheese are a sleeper hit whenever I've served them (or seen them served). They don't require dipping sauce and are compact/crumb-free enough for professional gatherings. However, they are also substantial enough to fill up on during events where less restraint is required at the bar.
What if we put the soup in a puff pastry shell? Then you’re eating the bowl it came in and reducing waste by not having to clean a pile of shot glasses.
Many moons ago I went to a company holiday event which included rack of lamb as finger food. I can’t explain why I found that so offensive, it explained the “westward land grab” behavior that happened as soon as the doors opened, but I don’t think I went to another holiday party afterwards in the 8 years I worked there. I’d have been perfectly happy with pigs in a blanket tbh
This list needs to more southern foods: ham delights, cocktail hotdogs in a crockpot with a mix of grape & red pepper jelly, and spreadable cheeses (spreadable cheddar, pimiento cheese, etc).
Calling those "delights" would likely cause my very southern mother to lash out at least verbally if not physically. "They're ham BISCUITS" she'd say forcefully, and for the sake of peace in the household, please don't point out there are no actual biscuits involved (we'll not even bring up the gouda).
But yes, those and sausage balls have done the yeoman's work at pretty much any holiday gathering my family has had for 40+ years now.
Two guys Gregg Popovich found in the international leagues (foods I haven't seen at a standing up party but would absolutely kill there): egg/spring rolls, and Viennese style hot dogs. For the uninitiated, a Vienna hot dog is a kind of short French bread roll (not a baguette, more like a sub roll) with the end sliced off and a hole poked down it's length by a big spike. Squirt mustard and/or ketchup right into the mouth of the hole and then shove a sausage down after it. One hand holdable, no drips, and one could be a meal all on its own.
'Would you eat an entire block of cheddar cheese at a party? No, of course not. That would be deranged.'
Don't tell me what to do.
An entire block? No, no. I have standards. BRING ME THE CHEESE WHEEL.
SEND THAT MELTED RACLETTE INTO MY GAPING MAW
Get in losers, we're dipping the cheese into the molten cheese.
Okay, an appetizer idea: a baked cheese crisp, with a slice of cheese on it, dipped in cheese
Gonna need to put some sprinkle cheese on top, as a treat
Would.
I was at a holiday party last week where they had lamb lollipops, and the way that a room full of lawyers descended on the tray like locusts is seared in my memory.
(Yes I fought my way to the front and had three)
There's little to argue with here. Due to a combination of tradition and bizarre ethics rules regarding formal dinners, Washington is the epicenter of "heavy hors d'ouerves," which is essentially a passed form of a full meal but with no place to sit down and eat it.
The pro move is to find a couple of friends and camp out on one of those little three-foot round standing height cocktail tables *immediately* upon arrival. Do NOT cede that space. Having a place to set down the plate allows one to successfully eat pasta, haddock, or even beef tenderloin (all of which I've been served at such events within the past year).
This is seriously a pro move. I can't tell you how many times I've done this. It's "heavy hors d'ouerves" but all from the same cookbook. I wish we could move on from bacon wrapped scallops.
This is another great example -- I love a bacon-wrapped scallop, but that's a food that needs to be sliced in half and consumed with a fork. If I try to bite into one while standing, the bacon is falling right off.
I'm gonna give a special shoutout to lumpia as a really good holiday party snack
A friend made a pigs-in-a-blanket sampler.
Some were traditional cocktail weenies, some were chunks of chorizo(with a sweeter dough, worked wonderfully), some were kielbasa; they came with multiple dipping sauces in little cups.
Also, don't sleep on stuffed mushrooms or lumpia.
I love this concept, and submit that it should be called a Pig Slumber Party.
I laughed out loud at this AND added to my party planning notes
Krabby Patty lookin ass sliders
ripping shots of gazpacho (just make sure it's actually cold and not room temp, you might burn yourself otherwise) with my work buddies
My company's holiday party last year had a mashed potato bar. Piping hot mashed taters served in cocktail coupe glasses, which you could top with cheese, bacon, scallions, etc. Easy to eat while standing around chatting with coworkers.
So good.
I've heard of this at weddings, but never experienced it first-hand. Debating whether it's acceptable to just do it at home.
In the privacy of one's home, take the libertarian approach and let your freak flag fly.
[being dragged out of my house by the police after filling a 1L beer stein with nachos] I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Southern clocking in - grits bar. Same concept, but grits. Not as good as the idea of mashed potatoes, but a solid player.
Those little round balls made with bisquick, bulk sausage, and shredded cheese are a sleeper hit whenever I've served them (or seen them served). They don't require dipping sauce and are compact/crumb-free enough for professional gatherings. However, they are also substantial enough to fill up on during events where less restraint is required at the bar.
What if we put the soup in a puff pastry shell? Then you’re eating the bowl it came in and reducing waste by not having to clean a pile of shot glasses.
If this is a subtle attempt to get me to try making soup dumplings, I learned my lesson the first time. https://actioncookbook.substack.com/p/the-simple-joy-of-fing-up-in-the
Many moons ago I went to a company holiday event which included rack of lamb as finger food. I can’t explain why I found that so offensive, it explained the “westward land grab” behavior that happened as soon as the doors opened, but I don’t think I went to another holiday party afterwards in the 8 years I worked there. I’d have been perfectly happy with pigs in a blanket tbh
This dovetails nicely with my DC observation below.
Scott, how could you leave out the holy trinity of classiness when it comes to these parties.
The illustrious chocolate, nacho cheese and ranch dressing fountains.
This list needs to more southern foods: ham delights, cocktail hotdogs in a crockpot with a mix of grape & red pepper jelly, and spreadable cheeses (spreadable cheddar, pimiento cheese, etc).
Ham delights are S tier. Something like this https://www.southernliving.com/recipes/ham-delights
To that end, I did some similar sheet-pan sliders with a Cubano twist a while back: https://actioncookbook.substack.com/p/recipe-sheet-pan-cubanos-with-mojo
I'm not sure if those would get me kicked out of the family holiday party or put in charge of the food...
I should try it next time I go (not this year, sadly)
Calling those "delights" would likely cause my very southern mother to lash out at least verbally if not physically. "They're ham BISCUITS" she'd say forcefully, and for the sake of peace in the household, please don't point out there are no actual biscuits involved (we'll not even bring up the gouda).
But yes, those and sausage balls have done the yeoman's work at pretty much any holiday gathering my family has had for 40+ years now.
Crackers are their whole own category. Fancy crackers/tiny toast with stuff already cooked on them have a high floor and near infinite ceiling.
Scott, you have my sword for your crusade against new fangled "sliders". That's stolen valor!
Two guys Gregg Popovich found in the international leagues (foods I haven't seen at a standing up party but would absolutely kill there): egg/spring rolls, and Viennese style hot dogs. For the uninitiated, a Vienna hot dog is a kind of short French bread roll (not a baguette, more like a sub roll) with the end sliced off and a hole poked down it's length by a big spike. Squirt mustard and/or ketchup right into the mouth of the hole and then shove a sausage down after it. One hand holdable, no drips, and one could be a meal all on its own.
Similar thing exists in Scandinavia, I had a few (of varying quality) in Copenhagen last year.