74 Comments
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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I think the Guardians team name is cool and connects the team and the city. More importantly, most people I follow who are *from Cleveland and are fans of the team* love the name.

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

My biggest takeaways from the rebrand are 1. great job all around and 2. we need way more art deco statues everywhere because those things kick ass

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This is a much more thorough and friendly response than mine for those arguments, well done and fully agreed ACB.....

Mine was more concise though - "Get f***ed, scrub, Guardians is awesome."

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

A few things:

First of all, my Trump supporting grandmother-in-law's birthday was yesterday, we went out to dinner, and she tried to pick a fight with her liberal grandchildren/their partners by saying "We love the Cleveland Indians!" - like, lady, you don't even fucking like sports, just SHUT UP. We didn't engage.

Second, THANK YOU for trashing on all the MLS teams trying to be too cool for mascots, cowards all of them cowards! Crew also sucks but it is better than that crap, and the new stadium RULES. (seriously if anyone here is in Columbus during MLS season I will meet you at a game! Hot Chicken Takeover AND Dirty Franks in the same stadium!!)

Third, RE Texans, did you know that in an attempt to court Latinx fans in Houston, the mascot, a bull is named Torros? So, like, they could have been the Houston Torros - how great it could have been! References Texas without being like TEXAS, is an actual attempt to engage Latinx fans. But, I think the McNairs just wanted to make Jerry Jones a little mad so they claimed the state to pretend Houstonians weren't already Cowboys fans. It also fucked up the VERY COOL at least vaguely space theme that all Houston professional sports franchises had. Again, probably just to piss off Jerry Jones. I understand the impulse but he is just in his money palace and does not care!

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Re: MLS team names: I'm so pedantic that I don't mind _certain_ kinds of "foreign" names. For example, DC United or Atlanta United, fine. LA FC, fine. I don't care for the older novelty names like the Earthquakes or the Revolution, but they are at least somehow tied to the location. However, if you are not in fact a sporting club, then you need to drop SC or Sporting, and just lifting NKVD association names (Houston) or non-existent monarchical connections (Salt Lake as mentioned) is pathetic. Stop it.

I suppose, since almost every professional sports team in the US is a tax management / rent seeking enterprise for the very wealthy, is that it probably doesn't do to get too attached to a locally-resonant name because there's always the chance that the team will need to rebrand anyway when some other group of civic dummies make it worth their while.

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

as an Orioles fan, I have a follow-up question...can that bird pitch?

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

For the Blue Jackets, unfortunately Stinger is far from memory-holed. He's still a confusing presence at every game. At least they no longer use his head as an alternate logo. It used to be on the uniforms! When the team wore "reverse retro" fauxbacks this year which had the original logo, they (thankfully) did not have the Stinger shoulder patches, instead sticking with the more recent cannon alternate logo.

If you want to talk about memory-holed CBJ mascots, look up the inflatable cannon named Boomer. He was discarded in less than a month after being introduced.

The Blue Jackets name is awkward but I can attest to fans who don't like the Guardians name now that after 20 years it's hard to imagine the team being named anything else. As the Tom Hanks video pointed out, the most important part of the name is the city. I'm a Cleveland baseball fan so it doesn't matter to me what name they picked (Guardians was my top choice, however)

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Personally, I'm a fan of leaning hard into the nonsense names. Go ahead and call yourself the Cleveland Isotopes. Or the Washington Manatees. Or the Louisville Volcanos. I don't need a reason or justification.

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Any predictions on how bad the Washington Football Team's new name will be?

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Aug 2, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Late to this: I've been away from the internet for two weeks (a real vacation). Nerd here. I thought that the Seattle Kraken referred to the terrifying John Wyndham tale, "The Kraken Wakes". If it doesn't, it should. https://www.penguinrandomhouse.ca/books/384332/the-kraken-wakes-by-john-wyndham/9780141032993

Also, you left out the Edmonton Eskimos, which just changed their name to the Edmonton Elks, better, but a mild animal, not grizzly level. Worth a mention, I think.

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

What’re the teams that if you used the full name or original name it’s significantly better? For me Devil Rays > Rays

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Jul 26, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I'll concede the Atlanta baseball team name (a team I love but whose name needs to go) but I will fight you over the Carolina Panthers. It will be a short fight. I'm small and have been a student for too long. Congrats on your team doing the right thing. That must feel good.

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science confirms Milwaukee Brewers have the best team name

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Scott, I'd like to thank you for including the "d" in "Indians" and "Guardians" when mentioning their carryover, since for some dumb reason, many people in sports talk only mentioned the "ians" and it irked me greatly.

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The Cincinnati Reds are named after the color your stool turns when you eat Skyline Chili.

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Scott has clearly never been up close with a pelican because they are definitely not non-threatening.

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