Also re: children needing some downtime by dinner: by the time our kids were in middle school / early high school we had to have a parenting conference because my wife was sad that they no longer were enthusiastic about a loaded schedule of family things at the weekend and I had to reframe it as “they basically have 2 shifts at work 5 days a week plus weekend homework, they have activities, they need some downtime.” It’s easy to forget that just because their brains are more elastic and they have more energy, those kids need some rest from the constant improvement.
You know what I didn't know coming into parenthood? That there is a difference between a food allergy and a food sensitivity. Also, there is a condition called "episodic vomiting" which, if your child has, you have to get a special doctor's note explaining this so they can stay at school as long as they don't have a fever (which came in handy last ago when my son overheated during the state standardized test and had a reversal of fortune near the end of the math test. He was fine when he got home and could go to school the next day.)
Anyway, during his 1-4 years, we learned a few things, all through the scientific method of "cleaning up so much puke in the back seat of the Escape."
1). He cannot have ultra-pasteurized milk products. This means any of your shelf-stable milk products like Horizon or that Similac on the go that looked like the pneumatic tubes. It also means you have to check every damn little milk chug to make sure it's not UP or else you're cleaning it up in 25 minutes.
2). He has a "sensitivity" to barley* which also served to agitate the esophageal reversal mechanism. This seems to have faded a bit in the last five years, which the doctor explained was a surface area of the GI tract issue, but he will still get hives if he gets too much.
3). He can't eat bananas, because it causes a small rash to break out around his mouth. This is why I end up grabbing way too many bananas in continental breakfast situations, because I love them but we don't have them in the house anymore.
4). He can't have Oreos. We think it's the cream, but it's a massive bummer, because I love Oreos.
All of this is to say that my 11 year old son still does not trust most foods, not because he's a picky eater, but because he's worried that any new thing could cause him to worship the porcelain god for a bit.
All of this is to say that I am grateful for the Little Caesars' in the strip mall next to the Kroger where the Pizza Portal and I have become good friends. It promises two things: Hot and Ready and that's all I need.
(*-He may have inherited this from me, because one beer or malt based beverage and I look like allergy season in full bloom. No, I'm not crying, my eyes are watering uncontrollably.)
TIP: if your kid eats homemade mac n cheese, try adding some super over-boiled cauliflower bits to it to feel like you aren't a bad parent for serving them mac n cheese for the 4th night in a row.
By pure luck, I thought we were going to be "those parents", my son was eating sushi by age 4 and raw oysters around 7. But turns out, he really just loves to eat dead animals. We havent found one yet he wont eat. Vegetables? Not so much. Broccoli, lettuce, asparagus, that's it. *he's 17 now and chows Ramen noodles and kraft Mac and cheese like there's no tomorrow. He has started cooking, though and now and again will make "fancy" Ramen where he adds extra flavors, eggs and meat. So there's hope!
Thank you for this article. I needed the reminder about how overwhelming it is to be a kindergartner sometimes.
I posted this in reply to HodgePodge on Twitter and it is a frequent reply of mine to parenting questions...*insert Herm Edwards.gif* "You play to win the game. Hello!?"
That being said an interesting culinary win for us in 2022 has been the salmon burgers from a few weeks ago. There are no complaints from our pickiest eater on those (and she won't eat pancakes, waffles, pizza, etc.).
My hope for my daughter (and potentials) is that I am able to help them appreciate food and make meal time something that is an event and more than just another thing to do. I think of times growing up when after a bad day at school Mom was like nope not having a planned meal, let's order pizza and just chill. And other times it's been the big meal that's followed by an hour just sitting around the table talking. My mom would make scalloped potatoes (funeral potatoes) for special dinners and it's been almost a year since they have graced our plates. If my daughter finds comfort sometimes in blue box (Kraft) mac and cheese, hot dogs, and green beans then who am I to judge or judge others for their kid's choices. Because before we know it, they will be old enough to tell us their memories and favorite times and I hope that it involves a dinner table.
I was what I guess people call an "adventurous" eater as a kid - which seems to just mean "they eat what you serve them without screaming," I think - until we moved to Alabama and lived with my dad's parents for a couple months until my parents found a place. In that time, my grandfather said "me and the baby don't like [basically every food ever]," and I went right along with him. I cannot imagine the incandescent rage my parents must have felt in that time. Funnily enough, when we moved to our own place, all those things I "didn't like" went right back into our diets and I ate them again. We instituted a 5-bite rule - please just take 5 reasonable bites of it - and the only thing that ever got straight vetoed by me was cabbage soup.
Tl;dr - I don't envy y'all in feeding little kids. Not at all. It seems like no matter what you do, SOMEONE is going to tell you how much you suck at doing it. And with every goofball in the world able to access your family to tell you EXACTLY in what ways and to what extent you suck, it's triply hard.
MAN did this post hit me at a good time. Our kid (currently 5 1/2) has been a pretty good eater in the sense of actually eating things, but never adventurous and definitely skeptical about a lot of stuff. We even got in a pretty good routine of him eating a little bit of a vegetable at lunch and/or dinner, as long as it was one of a handful of Approved Vegetables (roasted sweet potato, avocado, baby broccoli but *only the stems* for some reason). But the past few weeks he's kind of off of veggies of any kind, and I am getting really annoyed -- and I need to remember that this is probably just A Thing he'll do for a while as a kid and he'll be FINE. And it is so, so much more important for him to feel loved and supported and accepted and well-fed.
Also if I go to another allegedly family-friendly event at work that only has extremely tasty grownup food and no, like, Stouffer's mac and cheese or hot dogs or whatever, I am going to flip over this tray of lovingly crafted mini-Bakewell Tarts.
This is perfect. I have to remind myself how annoying it must be to always have people telling you what you’re going to eat. As ours have gotten older, we try to give them some input into the menu during the week (which means a lot of meatball variations and frequent requests for a very inauthentic bulgogi recipe made with ground beef and broccoli 🤷🏻♂️). This post was a great reminder to give them some grace at the dinner table.
Also re: children needing some downtime by dinner: by the time our kids were in middle school / early high school we had to have a parenting conference because my wife was sad that they no longer were enthusiastic about a loaded schedule of family things at the weekend and I had to reframe it as “they basically have 2 shifts at work 5 days a week plus weekend homework, they have activities, they need some downtime.” It’s easy to forget that just because their brains are more elastic and they have more energy, those kids need some rest from the constant improvement.
folks he’s done it again!
"Chances are, though, there’s also some microwave pizza or buttered noodles in there..."
Between the ages of, say, five and thirteen, I was 11% Chef Boyardee canned ravioli.
SO...
You know what I didn't know coming into parenthood? That there is a difference between a food allergy and a food sensitivity. Also, there is a condition called "episodic vomiting" which, if your child has, you have to get a special doctor's note explaining this so they can stay at school as long as they don't have a fever (which came in handy last ago when my son overheated during the state standardized test and had a reversal of fortune near the end of the math test. He was fine when he got home and could go to school the next day.)
Anyway, during his 1-4 years, we learned a few things, all through the scientific method of "cleaning up so much puke in the back seat of the Escape."
1). He cannot have ultra-pasteurized milk products. This means any of your shelf-stable milk products like Horizon or that Similac on the go that looked like the pneumatic tubes. It also means you have to check every damn little milk chug to make sure it's not UP or else you're cleaning it up in 25 minutes.
2). He has a "sensitivity" to barley* which also served to agitate the esophageal reversal mechanism. This seems to have faded a bit in the last five years, which the doctor explained was a surface area of the GI tract issue, but he will still get hives if he gets too much.
3). He can't eat bananas, because it causes a small rash to break out around his mouth. This is why I end up grabbing way too many bananas in continental breakfast situations, because I love them but we don't have them in the house anymore.
4). He can't have Oreos. We think it's the cream, but it's a massive bummer, because I love Oreos.
All of this is to say that my 11 year old son still does not trust most foods, not because he's a picky eater, but because he's worried that any new thing could cause him to worship the porcelain god for a bit.
All of this is to say that I am grateful for the Little Caesars' in the strip mall next to the Kroger where the Pizza Portal and I have become good friends. It promises two things: Hot and Ready and that's all I need.
(*-He may have inherited this from me, because one beer or malt based beverage and I look like allergy season in full bloom. No, I'm not crying, my eyes are watering uncontrollably.)
TIP: if your kid eats homemade mac n cheese, try adding some super over-boiled cauliflower bits to it to feel like you aren't a bad parent for serving them mac n cheese for the 4th night in a row.
We were just talking about this last night!
Things we do wrong:
Give our almost 3 yr old snacks after school
Offer fruit on their plate
Don't offer fruit on their plate
Try to hide vegetables
Try to offer vegetables
Try to cool it down
Try to heat it up
Eat too early
Eat too late
Make different food for them
Idk, it feels like as long as they aren't whining, they can have whatever the hell they want.
"Even the 2003 Detroit Tigers, the worst baseball team in modern memory, won 43 games." GO BEISBOLCATS.
By pure luck, I thought we were going to be "those parents", my son was eating sushi by age 4 and raw oysters around 7. But turns out, he really just loves to eat dead animals. We havent found one yet he wont eat. Vegetables? Not so much. Broccoli, lettuce, asparagus, that's it. *he's 17 now and chows Ramen noodles and kraft Mac and cheese like there's no tomorrow. He has started cooking, though and now and again will make "fancy" Ramen where he adds extra flavors, eggs and meat. So there's hope!
Thank you for this article. I needed the reminder about how overwhelming it is to be a kindergartner sometimes.
I posted this in reply to HodgePodge on Twitter and it is a frequent reply of mine to parenting questions...*insert Herm Edwards.gif* "You play to win the game. Hello!?"
That being said an interesting culinary win for us in 2022 has been the salmon burgers from a few weeks ago. There are no complaints from our pickiest eater on those (and she won't eat pancakes, waffles, pizza, etc.).
Vince McMahon with laser eyes. PRICELESS!
My hope for my daughter (and potentials) is that I am able to help them appreciate food and make meal time something that is an event and more than just another thing to do. I think of times growing up when after a bad day at school Mom was like nope not having a planned meal, let's order pizza and just chill. And other times it's been the big meal that's followed by an hour just sitting around the table talking. My mom would make scalloped potatoes (funeral potatoes) for special dinners and it's been almost a year since they have graced our plates. If my daughter finds comfort sometimes in blue box (Kraft) mac and cheese, hot dogs, and green beans then who am I to judge or judge others for their kid's choices. Because before we know it, they will be old enough to tell us their memories and favorite times and I hope that it involves a dinner table.
I was what I guess people call an "adventurous" eater as a kid - which seems to just mean "they eat what you serve them without screaming," I think - until we moved to Alabama and lived with my dad's parents for a couple months until my parents found a place. In that time, my grandfather said "me and the baby don't like [basically every food ever]," and I went right along with him. I cannot imagine the incandescent rage my parents must have felt in that time. Funnily enough, when we moved to our own place, all those things I "didn't like" went right back into our diets and I ate them again. We instituted a 5-bite rule - please just take 5 reasonable bites of it - and the only thing that ever got straight vetoed by me was cabbage soup.
Tl;dr - I don't envy y'all in feeding little kids. Not at all. It seems like no matter what you do, SOMEONE is going to tell you how much you suck at doing it. And with every goofball in the world able to access your family to tell you EXACTLY in what ways and to what extent you suck, it's triply hard.
It's the Achewood strip with pork chops and applesauce. http://achewood.com/index.php?date=02132002
I absolutely needed this today, AC
MAN did this post hit me at a good time. Our kid (currently 5 1/2) has been a pretty good eater in the sense of actually eating things, but never adventurous and definitely skeptical about a lot of stuff. We even got in a pretty good routine of him eating a little bit of a vegetable at lunch and/or dinner, as long as it was one of a handful of Approved Vegetables (roasted sweet potato, avocado, baby broccoli but *only the stems* for some reason). But the past few weeks he's kind of off of veggies of any kind, and I am getting really annoyed -- and I need to remember that this is probably just A Thing he'll do for a while as a kid and he'll be FINE. And it is so, so much more important for him to feel loved and supported and accepted and well-fed.
Also if I go to another allegedly family-friendly event at work that only has extremely tasty grownup food and no, like, Stouffer's mac and cheese or hot dogs or whatever, I am going to flip over this tray of lovingly crafted mini-Bakewell Tarts.
This is perfect. I have to remind myself how annoying it must be to always have people telling you what you’re going to eat. As ours have gotten older, we try to give them some input into the menu during the week (which means a lot of meatball variations and frequent requests for a very inauthentic bulgogi recipe made with ground beef and broccoli 🤷🏻♂️). This post was a great reminder to give them some grace at the dinner table.