Confession: I'm not a parent. Still, I was a child once.
I wonder where/when/how the idea that parents need to be perfect became so widespread. What would "perfect parenting" look like? Is being a perfect human a prerequisite for being a perfect parent?
My younger brother and I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who died when I was…
Confession: I'm not a parent. Still, I was a child once.
I wonder where/when/how the idea that parents need to be perfect became so widespread. What would "perfect parenting" look like? Is being a perfect human a prerequisite for being a perfect parent?
My younger brother and I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who died when I was 17. Dad's main motto was we had clothes on our backs, food on the table, a roof over our head, which I guess was the extent of his idea of perfect parenting. Also, "do as I say, not as I do" was employed often.
Through therapy, I was able to forgive both parents their spectacular parenting failures and have had a wonderful life. My brother came out fine, too.
Kids are far more resilient than adults often give them credit for. Parental failures (at whatever level) help them build that skill, which they will desperately need in today's world.
I think simply being aware that there is more to parenting that simply providing basic human needs has been a giant leap in terms of parental advances in the past 20 or so odd years. I think you are very much in the majority here, and I think societally speaking, we have all come to learn that it can take a toll on the children.
I don't think parents try to focus on being "perfect" per se, but rather, WANT to be perfect, and settling for simply doing a better job than our parents is good enough.
Confession: I'm not a parent. Still, I was a child once.
I wonder where/when/how the idea that parents need to be perfect became so widespread. What would "perfect parenting" look like? Is being a perfect human a prerequisite for being a perfect parent?
My younger brother and I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who died when I was 17. Dad's main motto was we had clothes on our backs, food on the table, a roof over our head, which I guess was the extent of his idea of perfect parenting. Also, "do as I say, not as I do" was employed often.
Through therapy, I was able to forgive both parents their spectacular parenting failures and have had a wonderful life. My brother came out fine, too.
Kids are far more resilient than adults often give them credit for. Parental failures (at whatever level) help them build that skill, which they will desperately need in today's world.
I think simply being aware that there is more to parenting that simply providing basic human needs has been a giant leap in terms of parental advances in the past 20 or so odd years. I think you are very much in the majority here, and I think societally speaking, we have all come to learn that it can take a toll on the children.
I don't think parents try to focus on being "perfect" per se, but rather, WANT to be perfect, and settling for simply doing a better job than our parents is good enough.
Great explanation!