35 Comments
Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Missing in the 'takes >100 repetitions' for the beagle is that they know exactly what you want them to do, but refuse to do so.

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

My boy Winston is a Coton de Tuléar (plural is Cotons de Tuléar). He’s not good at tracking, or following commands, or doing anything other than being a fluffy good boy.

We feed him, bathe him, walk him, and play with him, and he doesn’t have to do anything else, and he loves us!

I work like 50-60 hours every week.

You tell me who is smart one here.

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I know German shepherds are supposed to be smart and all but man, my experiences with them in the industry has taught me the complete opposite. This insight is likely highly shaded with the influence of my beloved shepherd mutt Maya, who knows a great many tricks and can recognize some of her toys by name (Percy the Penguin is her best friend), but believes any type of poop to be the ultimate in cuisine.

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Does my corgi know enough words to make regular conversation a minefield re: her food intake? Yes. Does she sometimes hide a toy and then spend hours trying to find said toy? Also yes. Corgis are a study in contrasts is what I'm saying

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I wrote something long here to defend the honor of my pug, but really what I took away from this is that I need to finally send his photo in for the Friday email. How do we do that? Just email this newsletter?

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

What a wonderful column! I love all your columns but this one just made me

smile and

laugh!

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

So I had a job interview, and they asked me to describe myself in one word. "Poor at taking direction," I responded. Here is why my dog Boo was not smart:

She was always keen on my "scent", but instead of a sock or t-shirt, she would delve into the laundry basket, find a pair of undies, bring it out to the couch, and catch some z's snuggled up with her favorite stink.

Really fun when you invite the office mates over for lunch. Or that girl you just started dating. Thanks, Boo!

Oh yeah, she also ate a half of a tube of epoxy, realized this was no bueno, so chased that with a pool cue chalk, and then puked blue vomit on our carpet. Dogs, man.

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

One of our dogs is a border collie- beagle mix. Understands what "camp grandma- grandpa" means and sleeps in the car until we're 10 minutes away, but does not get that if she sits in front of our laptops, we will make her move.

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I have two dogs. Neither one of them are smart.

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Feb 9, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Soupy, our 14 year old rescue cat, is very smart. His appearance and behavior lead us to believe he is a Maine Coon. He knows his name, fetches, and begs for food. He sits politely at his place at the table during mealtime waiting for bits of chicken or turkey, his favorites. (Don't judge us. We are just eccentric retirees.) If Soupy becomes impatient for his portion and moves to climb onto the table, he responds to the no command. Typical of a Maine Coon, his behavior is more like a dog than a cat.

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Our mutt seems to have figured out which nights we order takeout? We're not sure how or where she's hiding the calendar

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Feb 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I do not have smart dogs. They have some positive attributes, but not brains. Recommended reading: My life in Dog Years by Gary Paulsen, if you haven't read it. It's supposed to be a kids' book, and your kids will love it, but so will you.

https://www.google.com/search?q=my+life+in+dog+years&oq=my+life+in+dog+years&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l9.5420j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

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My cat has recently started licking the bar soap in the bathroom. She is not very smart. However, she's learned that ice cubes are fun to push across the floor so she zooms over when she hears the freezer open. She doesn't realize that ice cubes can be licked. But the soap?? That's a snack, obviously. She's luckily she's so cute (and her antics are hilarious, not dangerous)

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