Excellent event. I'm out of medal contention by the first heat in the pool.
Might I add the 800m yoked sleigh, which is a improperly balanced Costco shopping cart with a slightly-too-old kid mounted on the end of it, making it challenging to turn corners or navigate tight aisles?
Cooking a meal while simultaneously admiring the artwork made at school that day, having several conversations about a kids show that you’ve never paid attention to, and admonishing appropriately when the child gets obsessed with a new mildly inappropriate word (my daughter thinks “tootybutt” is the funniest thing you can say, and does so constantly). Also, you must prepare no less than two separate meals for the child, so they might actually eat something.
Points for child happiness at the end and for edibility of the meal. Deductions for the child refusing any of the prepared food, to reflect the time loss of making yet another sandwich.
That’s the worst part, it’s a perfect little kid insult, it’s fun to say, but like, chill with it when you’re talking to your less fun grandmother, kiddo.
Disappointed this didnt make the initial cut. No greater feat than the above and making it all to the table at the appropriate dinner time 530pm, no earlier/no later.
How can you have a Modern Parentathlon without having a canine event? I propose racing around the block on garbage day with a dog on a long leash. First one home wins - simple.
For the men's parentathlon you have to include the competitive eating portion, where foods from four separate meals prepared no less than 4 days prior are heaped on a plate and must be consumed before garbage day. Judges can award style points for intriguing blends or exemplary bravery in combined foodstuffs.
Last night I decided I was going to be a surfer for Nepal- the price of a trip to Tahiti would be I'd have to sit on the board out behind the waves, and just decide "I didn't like the looks of the set.".
I loved this so much! And I thought that underwater shot was of you Scott until I saw the Getty Images stamp! Sounds like you’ve already medaled 10 times over…the GOAT!!
The weekday dash: waking up two kids with different school schedules and getting them dressed, fed, packed and to the bus on time. Weather events will be completely randomized with no accounting for difficulty in the final scoring.
I took my three year old camping this weekend. Between swimming in the lake with her and carrying her around, I'm a little offended that no one has given me a medal yet
I appreciate the pizza, but working a grill element in there and getting it lit on the first try whilst being distracted or weighed down may be one of those that's harder than it looks
Missing is the car ride. Buckling children into seats, difficulty increases with type of car seat and whether the straps are declared, "too tight." Must include adequate snacks and drinks, points deducted for the snack mess. Must be able to navigate over the top of whatever music is now the favorite while also skipping the non favorite tracks. Bonus points for handling the unexpected/expected potty break. Medal contention for beating the GPS time within 1hr. Event should be held in one of America's worst traffic locations with construction and individuals who feel that NASCAR needs more wrecks driving.
Excellent event. I'm out of medal contention by the first heat in the pool.
Might I add the 800m yoked sleigh, which is a improperly balanced Costco shopping cart with a slightly-too-old kid mounted on the end of it, making it challenging to turn corners or navigate tight aisles?
oh my god the number of times I have to say GET OFF THE CART during an average Costco trip
Cooking a meal while simultaneously admiring the artwork made at school that day, having several conversations about a kids show that you’ve never paid attention to, and admonishing appropriately when the child gets obsessed with a new mildly inappropriate word (my daughter thinks “tootybutt” is the funniest thing you can say, and does so constantly). Also, you must prepare no less than two separate meals for the child, so they might actually eat something.
Points for child happiness at the end and for edibility of the meal. Deductions for the child refusing any of the prepared food, to reflect the time loss of making yet another sandwich.
To be fair, "tootybutt" is pretty funny, especially when coming from a child that thinks its a bad word.
That’s the worst part, it’s a perfect little kid insult, it’s fun to say, but like, chill with it when you’re talking to your less fun grandmother, kiddo.
Come on Grandma, this one thinks it’s hilarious and I may just try it on my own 5 yr old granddaughter when next I see her. Tooty Butt😂😂😂
Disappointed this didnt make the initial cut. No greater feat than the above and making it all to the table at the appropriate dinner time 530pm, no earlier/no later.
How can you have a Modern Parentathlon without having a canine event? I propose racing around the block on garbage day with a dog on a long leash. First one home wins - simple.
For the men's parentathlon you have to include the competitive eating portion, where foods from four separate meals prepared no less than 4 days prior are heaped on a plate and must be consumed before garbage day. Judges can award style points for intriguing blends or exemplary bravery in combined foodstuffs.
Cookbook to LA for 2028!
It’s this or become one of those Americans who pays their way into snowboarding for the Maldives
Last night I decided I was going to be a surfer for Nepal- the price of a trip to Tahiti would be I'd have to sit on the board out behind the waves, and just decide "I didn't like the looks of the set.".
I feel obligated to warn our author that this might in fact be a trap.
I loved this so much! And I thought that underwater shot was of you Scott until I saw the Getty Images stamp! Sounds like you’ve already medaled 10 times over…the GOAT!!
Scott do you need a hug?
The weekday dash: waking up two kids with different school schedules and getting them dressed, fed, packed and to the bus on time. Weather events will be completely randomized with no accounting for difficulty in the final scoring.
10/10 Would watch on Gold Zone.
I took my three year old camping this weekend. Between swimming in the lake with her and carrying her around, I'm a little offended that no one has given me a medal yet
I appreciate the pizza, but working a grill element in there and getting it lit on the first try whilst being distracted or weighed down may be one of those that's harder than it looks
Missing is the car ride. Buckling children into seats, difficulty increases with type of car seat and whether the straps are declared, "too tight." Must include adequate snacks and drinks, points deducted for the snack mess. Must be able to navigate over the top of whatever music is now the favorite while also skipping the non favorite tracks. Bonus points for handling the unexpected/expected potty break. Medal contention for beating the GPS time within 1hr. Event should be held in one of America's worst traffic locations with construction and individuals who feel that NASCAR needs more wrecks driving.
> Event should be held in one of America's worst traffic locations with construction and individuals who feel that NASCAR needs more wrecks driving.
Good news: the 2028 Olympics are in Los Angeles!
Competitive blowout diaper changing
And they aren't allowed to sleep more than three hours in the 24 hours prior to the event.