I take all the king size candy bars- I don’t need George III coming after my kid, and he’s already got beef with me, I have [Hedberg voice] a bed to his exact specifications.
A question from the other perspective: what's the appropriate portion of the bag of candy for me, the responsible neighborhood candy distributor, to test for quality and safety before we can declare the bag to be safe for children? Because I had half a bag during football this weekend and I think someone's putting chemicals in the candy that make you sleepy.
For some reason, the local Kroger carries lemon-flavored Kit-Kats, but only around Easter. No idea why (because yellow?), but I wish they had those year-round. They're delicious.
....and here I was fully prepared for an emotional terrorism piece from a fellow Clevelander. News of Jim Donovan's passing hurt and reminded me how far from home I often find myself.
We have so few trick or treaters in our neighborhood that we've become a full-bar household. Teach the kids to share with the parents, and don't forget kids - jolly ranchers are just razor blades in a candy shell. Straight to the garbage.
Why the hate for Mounds? Dark chocolate, puffy coconut filling inside, very satisfying. And I normally despise coconut, in anything.
Of course, getting old and the dental work isn't up to snuff; it takes me a half hour to chew up even a tiny serving of almonds. Mounds or Almond Joy is now a very rare delicacy for me. Let's not even discuss Jujyfruits or Dots. My lifelong favorites, until a few years ago when a when a mouthful of Jujyfruits sucked a filling right out of one of my molars (Dots are a little easier).
I wouldn't say it's the greatest candy bar, certainly not while the Reese's Fast Break exists. It is both good and better than Almond Joy, though, the dark chocolate really pairs well and puts it over the top.
Thank you for giving me the opening to share the story of the time I bought what I thought were green tea-flavored Kit Kats while in Japan and only found out after I took a BIG bite of them that I had instead bought wasabi-flavored Kit Kats
If there is one positive to having a child with an allergy is that you get to participate in "Switch Witch." So all the allergen candy (which is a ton because peanuts come in contact with everything... even Costco deli meat platters and prepared foods), go into a sack that the Switch Witch takes and leaves a small gift. It has a book and cute story, BUT the moral is that Dad gets all the Reese's and Snickers without even having to enforce the "Dad Tax" because listen kids have to learn at some point that you gotta pay taxes. Also why I have 3 freezers to keep moving the stash around.
That jump scare at the end was absolutely unnecessary this early in the morning.
"Having two would just cause arguments, and even though those arguments would be very funny, it’s just not worth the trouble."
Funny how?
[sweating, nervously offering you a Snickers]
I take all the king size candy bars- I don’t need George III coming after my kid, and he’s already got beef with me, I have [Hedberg voice] a bed to his exact specifications.
A question from the other perspective: what's the appropriate portion of the bag of candy for me, the responsible neighborhood candy distributor, to test for quality and safety before we can declare the bag to be safe for children? Because I had half a bag during football this weekend and I think someone's putting chemicals in the candy that make you sleepy.
Better finish the bag to be safe.
For some reason, the local Kroger carries lemon-flavored Kit-Kats, but only around Easter. No idea why (because yellow?), but I wish they had those year-round. They're delicious.
I had some of those around Easter, and I agree--they're terrific.
....and here I was fully prepared for an emotional terrorism piece from a fellow Clevelander. News of Jim Donovan's passing hurt and reminded me how far from home I often find myself.
We have so few trick or treaters in our neighborhood that we've become a full-bar household. Teach the kids to share with the parents, and don't forget kids - jolly ranchers are just razor blades in a candy shell. Straight to the garbage.
TBH I'm sad about Jim Donovan's passing, but I've been more disconnected from the Browns' local crews since I've been away from Cleveland for so long.
I will be an absolute wreck if we ever lose Tom Hamilton, though.
thank god you're there to protect your kids from these dangers. happy halloween!
Why the hate for Mounds? Dark chocolate, puffy coconut filling inside, very satisfying. And I normally despise coconut, in anything.
Of course, getting old and the dental work isn't up to snuff; it takes me a half hour to chew up even a tiny serving of almonds. Mounds or Almond Joy is now a very rare delicacy for me. Let's not even discuss Jujyfruits or Dots. My lifelong favorites, until a few years ago when a when a mouthful of Jujyfruits sucked a filling right out of one of my molars (Dots are a little easier).
I will not stand for this slander of Mounds, the greatest of all candy bars. It's dark chocolate and coconut, what could be better.
I wouldn't say it's the greatest candy bar, certainly not while the Reese's Fast Break exists. It is both good and better than Almond Joy, though, the dark chocolate really pairs well and puts it over the top.
Agree wholeheartedly and had my say above. Sometimes, Scott just isn't the expert amirite?
I'll leave a bowl of Mounds out on the porch for y'all.
(I'm oddly picky about my Halloween candy. I included Starbursts and Sour Patch Kids in the post even though I wouldn't dream of eating them.)
Well of course! Everybody knows Starbursts are actually plastic.
Thank you for giving me the opening to share the story of the time I bought what I thought were green tea-flavored Kit Kats while in Japan and only found out after I took a BIG bite of them that I had instead bought wasabi-flavored Kit Kats
WOULD
If there is one positive to having a child with an allergy is that you get to participate in "Switch Witch." So all the allergen candy (which is a ton because peanuts come in contact with everything... even Costco deli meat platters and prepared foods), go into a sack that the Switch Witch takes and leaves a small gift. It has a book and cute story, BUT the moral is that Dad gets all the Reese's and Snickers without even having to enforce the "Dad Tax" because listen kids have to learn at some point that you gotta pay taxes. Also why I have 3 freezers to keep moving the stash around.
My kid already begrudgingly hands over the twix bars when she gets them, but that's because she has celiac disease