55 Comments
Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

hey, the sub button for Olaf's newsletter is broken.

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author

I honestly considered making one just for the gag but I didn’t want to be pressured to maintain it.

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Feb 14, 2022·edited Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Slacker. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing

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Holly would get jealous.

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Feb 14, 2022·edited Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

dog probably ate the subscribe button.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Holly: "Why do I need my own substack when I can just take over yours? Olaf's only contribution to literature is to prompt creation of the drool emoji."

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

All I can think of when I see that pic of Olaf in the cap is him saying "Am I Being Detained!?!"

Also, cannot recommend a ball thrower enough. Our dog would run until she dropped, then run some more. After a solid 3 years of this at least 1 hour a day, she calmed down.

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author

I'm looking forward to more daylight hours after work soon. Getting a high-energy dog in late November wasn't the greatest timing.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

This was finally it. This was the post that made me go all-in and subscribe.

The answer is right in your hands. Children. I know that the climate in your current environment doesn't allow for it (mine doesn't either), but kids are the best option. Olaf will not only wear himself out, he will wear out the kids as well. Double bonus!

Tired dog, tired kids = I can finally watch that show that everyone keeps talking about!

My 1-year-old silver lab now weighs 80 lbs. You read that correctly. She is one (1!) and weighs 80 pounds. It's easier to list the things she hasn't eaten. She ate a Roomba! How the hell!

Anyway, pray for sunshine and midwestern spring temperatures, and hope for the best.

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author

Thank you, and welcome!

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

I've followed you on Twitter and EDSBS, and took a dip into the pool by just going the free route. Between this and Kentuckiana Hot Loin, I finally had to dive in.

Some of your posts are thoughtful. Some are hilarious. But they're always amazing. Thank you Scott. And apologies that I didn't dive in sooner.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Welcome!

I'll agree, older kids for doggo to run with is good, as is dog park if one is nearby. We have one that has separate areas for big and small dogs, too, so Holly wouldn't have to deal with a yard full of Olaves.

My Boo had quite a list of eatings when she was a pup, too. Original NES controller, a dozen donuts, a Comcast remote, and in quick succession, half of my roomy's epoxy and a pool cue chalk, which combined to end up as technicolor barf on the carpet. It's a miracle she survived to adulthood.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Ok listen. I know it's ridiculous. But doggy daycare. It wears our dog TF out.

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author

I've been floating the idea, because the only thing that truly wears him out is playing with other dogs, and 11-year-old, 30-lb Holly isn't up to the task.

Might I ask where you go?

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There’s a new place by us I’m looking at taking Morgan to, and we’ve used See Spot several times. (Not sure if they’re doing daycare still tbh)

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We go to Pampered Pets in Floyds Knobs, Indiana - I think you're in Louisville. We pay something like $25 per day?

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Is there a cost if a dog breaks:

Containment

Other dogs

Daycare staff

Facilities

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Dog has to wash dishes

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So subscription prices are rising to pay for the new dishes at Casa Cookbook?

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

A friend of mine in Lou recommended The Paw Zone - at Story Avenue exit on 64. We called and talked to them but there was a wait (this was more than a year ago, though). It seemed great but this place closer to home is better for us.

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author

Ahh okay. We are on the KY side and Paw Zone was one I was looking at--for a while we were using a groomer based there for Holly.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Only 5 dogs in the class?

You are overlooking the one thing in the suburbs that need herding: kids.

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counterpoint, overenthusiastic dog and small kids lead to crying kids and upset parents.

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founding
Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

What does the “G.” stand for?

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author

Goddamnit, Olaf

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founding

And here I was expecting the answer to be “Goodboy”

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

seriously, y'all, I hadn't scrolled to these when I posted.

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Gustavo

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Some friends had a collie and they screwed an eye bolt into a stud in the kitchen, with a slippery floor, so the dog could get pulling energy expended indoors when they were cooking. Eventually the dog tore the bolt out of the wall. Now if you'll excuse me Gimbal fell in the garbage can again while trying to eat whatever cursed solids were on the sink strainer earlier today.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Olaf was born to be tech support.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Dog 9-1-1 operator.

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This should be a topic of a newsletter.

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"have you tried turning it off and on again?"

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"Have you tried barking at it."

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to be honest that's mostly my starting point with tech issues

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

First, the G. better stand for Goodboy, and not gorramit, as most active dogs tend to be named.

Second, my heart broke for his graditation photo, poor guys looks so anxious.

Third, I might suggest a game of "Where's Holly?" for him to discover his profession. This also serves as an intelligence test, because how long before he just starts at the couch, and not do a grand tour of the house like she's some nomadic Waldo trying to get one over on him.

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author

He actually wasn't anxious at all during the class. (Hyped up? Absolutely.) He's just like me when it comes to posing for a photo: suddenly forgets how to use his face.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Don’t you SEE?! This is THE PROBLEM with this country!!11 Dogs DONT want TO work!!!/) spoiled lazee! This is why McDonalds costs $9/gallon!! Thanks a lot, Major!

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Ok, you need two leashes, each clipped onto a harness for Olaf and loop the other ends onto the handlebars of your bike. Find a rail-trail and go. We’ll see you in New England in about 4 days.

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funnily enough I’ve received all three of those job emails

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

TIL that Olaf is the Herlihy Boy.

(Extreme Chris Farley voice) "PLEASE! JUST GIVE THE DANG BOY A JOB!"

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I had that same look on my face when I graduated. Hell, I basically had the same average too.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Our dog is also in need of a job. He’s late on 14 months of pet rent and I’m beginning to think we’re not gonna get that money.

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