55 Comments
Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

hey, the sub button for Olaf's newsletter is broken.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Holly: "Why do I need my own substack when I can just take over yours? Olaf's only contribution to literature is to prompt creation of the drool emoji."

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

All I can think of when I see that pic of Olaf in the cap is him saying "Am I Being Detained!?!"

Also, cannot recommend a ball thrower enough. Our dog would run until she dropped, then run some more. After a solid 3 years of this at least 1 hour a day, she calmed down.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

This was finally it. This was the post that made me go all-in and subscribe.

The answer is right in your hands. Children. I know that the climate in your current environment doesn't allow for it (mine doesn't either), but kids are the best option. Olaf will not only wear himself out, he will wear out the kids as well. Double bonus!

Tired dog, tired kids = I can finally watch that show that everyone keeps talking about!

My 1-year-old silver lab now weighs 80 lbs. You read that correctly. She is one (1!) and weighs 80 pounds. It's easier to list the things she hasn't eaten. She ate a Roomba! How the hell!

Anyway, pray for sunshine and midwestern spring temperatures, and hope for the best.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Ok listen. I know it's ridiculous. But doggy daycare. It wears our dog TF out.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Only 5 dogs in the class?

You are overlooking the one thing in the suburbs that need herding: kids.

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founding
Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

What does the “G.” stand for?

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Some friends had a collie and they screwed an eye bolt into a stud in the kitchen, with a slippery floor, so the dog could get pulling energy expended indoors when they were cooking. Eventually the dog tore the bolt out of the wall. Now if you'll excuse me Gimbal fell in the garbage can again while trying to eat whatever cursed solids were on the sink strainer earlier today.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Olaf was born to be tech support.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

First, the G. better stand for Goodboy, and not gorramit, as most active dogs tend to be named.

Second, my heart broke for his graditation photo, poor guys looks so anxious.

Third, I might suggest a game of "Where's Holly?" for him to discover his profession. This also serves as an intelligence test, because how long before he just starts at the couch, and not do a grand tour of the house like she's some nomadic Waldo trying to get one over on him.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Don’t you SEE?! This is THE PROBLEM with this country!!11 Dogs DONT want TO work!!!/) spoiled lazee! This is why McDonalds costs $9/gallon!! Thanks a lot, Major!

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Ok, you need two leashes, each clipped onto a harness for Olaf and loop the other ends onto the handlebars of your bike. Find a rail-trail and go. We’ll see you in New England in about 4 days.

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funnily enough I’ve received all three of those job emails

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

TIL that Olaf is the Herlihy Boy.

(Extreme Chris Farley voice) "PLEASE! JUST GIVE THE DANG BOY A JOB!"

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I had that same look on my face when I graduated. Hell, I basically had the same average too.

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Feb 14, 2022Liked by Scott Hines

Our dog is also in need of a job. He’s late on 14 months of pet rent and I’m beginning to think we’re not gonna get that money.

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