The first person handed a trophy during a championship celebration is a team captain. The last person handed a championship trophy is the team owner. If Jimmy or Dee Haslam wants to hold the Lombardi Trophy, they can get do it when it gets back to Berea. Don't even let them on the field.
I remember back when the Cowboys won Super Bowl 28 and Jerry Jones ran onto the platform and grabbed it from Jimmy Johnson. My family never liked 'Jerrah' to begin with, but this cemented his status as public enemy #1 in our house.
No more big events on streaming services. Caitlin Clark's last second victory shot last night was on fricking PEACOCK - and they got the shot clock WRONG on the broadcast! They showed the shot going in late when it was clearly out of her hands! Unnecessary controversy because of bad broadcasting!
NBC can't cover the Olympics anymore unless they are going to treat it likes sports, not an entertainment spectacle. I don't need a 30-minute personal story on every US-born Olympian, just show me the damn biathalon!
Figure skating and gymnastics are EVERY YEAR SPORTS and should be covered like them. Where are the studio shows showing you how to identify jumps? Where are the breakdowns of the code of points so people aren't confused, and the broadcasters can stop acting confused? Johnny and Tara can stay, but see point above: NBA have been terrible stewards of the Olympics.
No more jokes about the WNBA - here's looking at you, Michael Che. It wasn't funny 20 years ago when the play was admittedly mid, and it certainly isn't funny now when the play is incredible. No league is more competitive or exciting than the WNBA right now (because there are TOO FEW TEAMS).
Any time an NBA or MLS franchise is sold, if that market doesn't already have a WNBA or NWSL team the new owners MUST commit to starting one within five years. That is how you passively but effectively grow women's sports. SOMEONE HIRE ME!
Instead or in addition to the NBA in-season tournament, which was fun, we need some sort of NBA International Invitational. Basketball is truly an international sport now: how much fun would it be to have the best Euroleague/China/other international teams face off against the non-playoff NBA teams? Give some financial incentives, and we'll all get to see some of our favorite College Hoops players back in action: and you know they'll want to beat the NBA.
I would ban consecutive timeouts in all sports. If a timeout has been called (whether by a team or a tv timeout), neither team can call one until the ball has been put into play
As part of the doors and opener sections, players from teams who have bye weeks or are injured should be allowed to voluntarily participate in video game streams, segments like Snoop Dogg’s Cold Calls, and other variety-show-themed activities.
No one is allowed to discuss MVP/Heisman candidates until at least 65% of the season has been completed, or for all-star teams 65% of the season before the ASG
Could we expand the timeouts to include only 1 "icing the kicker/thrower" timeout allowed per game per team? Also, let's dabble with the idea that only players on the field can call a timeout within 5 seconds of the play clock expiring.
What if we make it a costly option, if the play is in motion as the timeout is called (as we see happens all the time) and the kicker/shooter makes the attempt. The attempt counts and the team also is granted an additional timeout.
Televise all halftime corgi races. I’m sick and tired of hearing about it second hand from Troy Aikman or my local news. Lemme see those chunks run 20 yards goddammit!
Single admission doubleheaders (with the games being 7 innings each). This would build more off days into the schedule for the players
Ticket resales are capped at 150% of the original price of the ticket - and Ticketmaster is barred from the marketplace due to their monopoly and history of “service charges”
If a team leaves a market, they need to pay an “exit fee” to the community they leave behind. Be it payments to restaurants (who will lose business from game day fans), local youth sports organizations (who have lost the opportunity to have this kids watch top tier games in person) and making the season ticket holders whole.
For your red-on-red, can we extend that to blue-vs-blue, blue-vs-green, etc.? Asking for a tritanopic friend.
Anyway, my crank sports opinion covers several of your thoughts, and is free to borrow/steal - any team that wants public funding for a stadium/upgrades/neighborhood amenities can have it, but they must give up a percentage of team ownership to the local community of equal value - your team is valued at $1 billion by Forbes and you get $600 million in city money for new skyboxes? Congrats, the city now owns 60% of your team. You can buy it back at market value starting in 5 years.
I'll tweak this slightly and say the city/county/state whatever gets to independently audit the team's books to determine their value. Ain't trusting Forbes as far as I can throw 'em.
I, for one, welcome the benevolent reign of Dictator for Life Cookbook. My addition? Touchdown/commercial/XP/commercial/touchback/commercial is now punishable by death.
Maybe we can force the network suits to be locked in a room with nothing but car insurance and pharmaceutical ads playing 24/7. There's a bathroom, but it has surround sound speakers as well.
Option 1: Get rid of the bottom-of-screen ticker. We all have phones now.
Option 2: Keep the bottom-of-screen ticker (and the obvious ad space it provides), but you know how movies get chopped up into fifty TikToks? Start licensing short stories and nonfiction essays to tick through at the bottom of the screen so that watching Big Ten West football now counts as reading.
Can we also add in at least one kickoff where the air temperature is hot enough to boil an egg in it's shell? I want Texas State to qualify for the playoff, but we aren't finding any games below 40 degrees, unless its 40 degrees latitude.
That’s fine, as long as there’s a minimum number of number of passing touchdowns that a CFP team has completed *per regular season game,* weighted by total number of yards that that the ball was in the air.
Rename the Meadowlands "Taylor Ham Stadium" and Philadelphia's to "Taylor Pork Roll Stadium" and we just amplified the Giants-Eagles rivalry to all new levels.
oh, let's also throw in: no discussion of games that don't involve the participants of the game currently airing or teams they are set to play soon
If I'm watching a MAC game I do not want to hear one damn word about the playoff
I mean, just ban the playoff entirely - we're returning to 1990's conferences, let's return to 1990's postseason style as well.
oh that was what I was suggesting, to be clear.
Also, let's throw in "no college football games in NFL stadiums, ever"
that includes home games. sorry, Pitt, you've got a 3-year grace period to build an on-campus stadium or you're bumped to FCS
ARMY-NAVY AT FRANKLIN FIELD
RETVRN
Okay but are we still going to allow gimmick CFB games in MLB stadia?
I would allow it only if that stadium historically hosted football games (ie, Wrigley and Fenway)
And the infield dirt must still be showing.
Ooh, great call. Hard agree.
Seeing Temple - Buffalo at the Linc was one of the weirdest, soulless experiences of my life.
I cannot like the second part of this enough.
Here's my long-held stance on public funding for stadia - that gets you equity in the team.
City/county/state puts up 40% of the money? Guess who owns 40% of the team now.
And it's also illegal to move a team with any public entity holding any interest in the team.
Want to move? Buy us out to pay us back for helping build the stadium, then you're free to go, but not before.
/points finger
This guy, right here
I just saw yours too
/high five
Putting Pat McAffee on television is a capital crime
PREACH
The first person handed a trophy during a championship celebration is a team captain. The last person handed a championship trophy is the team owner. If Jimmy or Dee Haslam wants to hold the Lombardi Trophy, they can get do it when it gets back to Berea. Don't even let them on the field.
YES
I remember back when the Cowboys won Super Bowl 28 and Jerry Jones ran onto the platform and grabbed it from Jimmy Johnson. My family never liked 'Jerrah' to begin with, but this cemented his status as public enemy #1 in our house.
No more big events on streaming services. Caitlin Clark's last second victory shot last night was on fricking PEACOCK - and they got the shot clock WRONG on the broadcast! They showed the shot going in late when it was clearly out of her hands! Unnecessary controversy because of bad broadcasting!
NBC can't cover the Olympics anymore unless they are going to treat it likes sports, not an entertainment spectacle. I don't need a 30-minute personal story on every US-born Olympian, just show me the damn biathalon!
Figure skating and gymnastics are EVERY YEAR SPORTS and should be covered like them. Where are the studio shows showing you how to identify jumps? Where are the breakdowns of the code of points so people aren't confused, and the broadcasters can stop acting confused? Johnny and Tara can stay, but see point above: NBA have been terrible stewards of the Olympics.
No more jokes about the WNBA - here's looking at you, Michael Che. It wasn't funny 20 years ago when the play was admittedly mid, and it certainly isn't funny now when the play is incredible. No league is more competitive or exciting than the WNBA right now (because there are TOO FEW TEAMS).
Any time an NBA or MLS franchise is sold, if that market doesn't already have a WNBA or NWSL team the new owners MUST commit to starting one within five years. That is how you passively but effectively grow women's sports. SOMEONE HIRE ME!
Instead or in addition to the NBA in-season tournament, which was fun, we need some sort of NBA International Invitational. Basketball is truly an international sport now: how much fun would it be to have the best Euroleague/China/other international teams face off against the non-playoff NBA teams? Give some financial incentives, and we'll all get to see some of our favorite College Hoops players back in action: and you know they'll want to beat the NBA.
"Sports Betting Will Be Treated Like Smoking"
You just won my vote, and I may even volunteer to help run your PAC.
Anything that puts Clay Travis further from our eyes, ears, and hearts is a net positive. Get rich, kids.
I would ban consecutive timeouts in all sports. If a timeout has been called (whether by a team or a tv timeout), neither team can call one until the ball has been put into play
Tv listings must show the time the game is scheduled to start, not the broadcast
Or at least both like a concert ticket that has "Doors: 7, Opener: 8, Headliner: 9"
As part of the doors and opener sections, players from teams who have bye weeks or are injured should be allowed to voluntarily participate in video game streams, segments like Snoop Dogg’s Cold Calls, and other variety-show-themed activities.
Another one: sportscenter (and sportscenter like shows) have to show actual highlights of actual recent games for at least 60% of their airtime
ban sports debate!
no, they have to go back to showing actual SPORTS - I want my 2am poker!!!
I would commit voter fraud for this.
No one is allowed to discuss MVP/Heisman candidates until at least 65% of the season has been completed, or for all-star teams 65% of the season before the ASG
Could we expand the timeouts to include only 1 "icing the kicker/thrower" timeout allowed per game per team? Also, let's dabble with the idea that only players on the field can call a timeout within 5 seconds of the play clock expiring.
How about one icing timeout per season? It never works anyway, so let’s make them REALLY decide to make it count
What if we make it a costly option, if the play is in motion as the timeout is called (as we see happens all the time) and the kicker/shooter makes the attempt. The attempt counts and the team also is granted an additional timeout.
Televise all halftime corgi races. I’m sick and tired of hearing about it second hand from Troy Aikman or my local news. Lemme see those chunks run 20 yards goddammit!
Single admission doubleheaders (with the games being 7 innings each). This would build more off days into the schedule for the players
Ticket resales are capped at 150% of the original price of the ticket - and Ticketmaster is barred from the marketplace due to their monopoly and history of “service charges”
If a team leaves a market, they need to pay an “exit fee” to the community they leave behind. Be it payments to restaurants (who will lose business from game day fans), local youth sports organizations (who have lost the opportunity to have this kids watch top tier games in person) and making the season ticket holders whole.
For your red-on-red, can we extend that to blue-vs-blue, blue-vs-green, etc.? Asking for a tritanopic friend.
Anyway, my crank sports opinion covers several of your thoughts, and is free to borrow/steal - any team that wants public funding for a stadium/upgrades/neighborhood amenities can have it, but they must give up a percentage of team ownership to the local community of equal value - your team is valued at $1 billion by Forbes and you get $600 million in city money for new skyboxes? Congrats, the city now owns 60% of your team. You can buy it back at market value starting in 5 years.
I'll tweak this slightly and say the city/county/state whatever gets to independently audit the team's books to determine their value. Ain't trusting Forbes as far as I can throw 'em.
Sure, some reasonable valuation - should be much easier since Cookbook forced them to open the books.
I see we have an accord, Bananaman
I, for one, welcome the benevolent reign of Dictator for Life Cookbook. My addition? Touchdown/commercial/XP/commercial/touchback/commercial is now punishable by death.
Death is too good for those guilty
Maybe we can force the network suits to be locked in a room with nothing but car insurance and pharmaceutical ads playing 24/7. There's a bathroom, but it has surround sound speakers as well.
Option 1: Get rid of the bottom-of-screen ticker. We all have phones now.
Option 2: Keep the bottom-of-screen ticker (and the obvious ad space it provides), but you know how movies get chopped up into fifty TikToks? Start licensing short stories and nonfiction essays to tick through at the bottom of the screen so that watching Big Ten West football now counts as reading.
You know what the ticker is a perfect medium for? Burma-shave ads.
Set a maximum wage for college coaches of $1 million per year. Then we can use the savings to pay players directly
To be eligible for the CFP, a team must have played at least one road game where the temperature at kickoff is below 40°F.
I'm glad you think Michigan shouldn't have been eligible for the CFP. Go Huskies!
Can we also add in at least one kickoff where the air temperature is hot enough to boil an egg in it's shell? I want Texas State to qualify for the playoff, but we aren't finding any games below 40 degrees, unless its 40 degrees latitude.
That’s fine, as long as there’s a minimum number of number of passing touchdowns that a CFP team has completed *per regular season game,* weighted by total number of yards that that the ball was in the air.
I don’t think we need to worry about Iowa making it, but it’s good to be sure
Rename the Meadowlands "Taylor Ham Stadium" and Philadelphia's to "Taylor Pork Roll Stadium" and we just amplified the Giants-Eagles rivalry to all new levels.