When our daughters were younger, my wife had a pretty firm rule about no batteries and limited assembly for Christmas presents. That meant that any late night shenanigans on the 24th were mostly because I had failed to complete my portion of wrapping duty. It also explains that one Christmas Eve when my folks and my brother & his wife were visiting, so I decided they all needed to try sazeracs, one thing led to another, and there are pictures of me scooting around the living room and kitchen with a 4 foot tall bear balanced on my head. Too much time on my hands (as well as my great-grandfather's cocktail shaker which is an imperial pint because he believed in mass production.
My college had a Christmas tradition of only allowing All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey to be the only song that could play on the jukebox in the student center. Papers could be written on the Stockholm syndrome that develops by Senior year when they became the enforcers of this "fun" tradition.
A chill went through me as soon as I saw "KidCraft Kitchen". It took me two late nights, nearly a full bottle of whiskey, and an encyclopedia of curse words to produce a not-quite-level piece of shit that my son tired of within 72 hours. My visions of using this as a stepping stone for him to join me in Kenji Lopez-Alt hijinks for the rest of his childhood crumpled and I made another pot of Kraft Mac and Cheese.
Also, Craigslist has people that will build this stuff for you. Trampolines and basketball goals are for professionals, and they should be paid accordingly.
we got one of those kiddie trampolines when junior was 4 or so? Holy farts, the elastic cable is TIGHTLY strung. We tried and failed for a few hours before eventually getting it set up, maybe not perfectly, and I may have lost a fingertip in the process. Knowing my luck, there's probably a YouTube video out there that shows a quick and easy way to install everything using a butter knife.
The true Xmas fiasco is having a wife whose top priority is capturing the shocked faces when everyone wakes up and also having two kids who fail to understand that just because the sun is up, mommy and daddy most certainly are not (nor are they willing to be). So, every year after dragging out (and assembling) all the gifts, we are relegated to sleeping on the couch, quick to patrol for the kid who wakes up at 4:47 and conveniently has the urge to take a leak, and then makes all the noise in the world so that their partner in crime can beat the double team on defense. By 5:45, we have no fight left in us, and eventually relent to allowing everyone to come out and act surprised for the camera.
When our daughters were younger, my wife had a pretty firm rule about no batteries and limited assembly for Christmas presents. That meant that any late night shenanigans on the 24th were mostly because I had failed to complete my portion of wrapping duty. It also explains that one Christmas Eve when my folks and my brother & his wife were visiting, so I decided they all needed to try sazeracs, one thing led to another, and there are pictures of me scooting around the living room and kitchen with a 4 foot tall bear balanced on my head. Too much time on my hands (as well as my great-grandfather's cocktail shaker which is an imperial pint because he believed in mass production.
My college had a Christmas tradition of only allowing All I Want For Christmas by Mariah Carey to be the only song that could play on the jukebox in the student center. Papers could be written on the Stockholm syndrome that develops by Senior year when they became the enforcers of this "fun" tradition.
A chill went through me as soon as I saw "KidCraft Kitchen". It took me two late nights, nearly a full bottle of whiskey, and an encyclopedia of curse words to produce a not-quite-level piece of shit that my son tired of within 72 hours. My visions of using this as a stepping stone for him to join me in Kenji Lopez-Alt hijinks for the rest of his childhood crumpled and I made another pot of Kraft Mac and Cheese.
Also, Craigslist has people that will build this stuff for you. Trampolines and basketball goals are for professionals, and they should be paid accordingly.
Merry Christmas, y'all!
we got one of those kiddie trampolines when junior was 4 or so? Holy farts, the elastic cable is TIGHTLY strung. We tried and failed for a few hours before eventually getting it set up, maybe not perfectly, and I may have lost a fingertip in the process. Knowing my luck, there's probably a YouTube video out there that shows a quick and easy way to install everything using a butter knife.
The true Xmas fiasco is having a wife whose top priority is capturing the shocked faces when everyone wakes up and also having two kids who fail to understand that just because the sun is up, mommy and daddy most certainly are not (nor are they willing to be). So, every year after dragging out (and assembling) all the gifts, we are relegated to sleeping on the couch, quick to patrol for the kid who wakes up at 4:47 and conveniently has the urge to take a leak, and then makes all the noise in the world so that their partner in crime can beat the double team on defense. By 5:45, we have no fight left in us, and eventually relent to allowing everyone to come out and act surprised for the camera.
We purchased a wooden playhouse and the reviews said it take between 7-8 hours to assemble. So maybe I can distract them with the box for a few days
Thanks for making me smile today.