My only note on this is that from social media, it would be easy to believe that most of your friends with kids love spending time with them, and they probably do. But my goodness, the professional side of my life has taught me far too often that there are a number of people who just hate/resent their children. It's not arch as much as it is that they cannot get past the part where the kids are taking up _their_ time, and it makes me sad.
The strangest thing is when the kids are away on a weekday and you get home from work at 5:30 pm or whenever and it’s like, what do I do now? Watch the local news? That’s the Weird Hour for me when the kids are away.
"or when they just want to tell you something new about a video game character."
This struck me especially as the parent of an only child. She doesn't have a brother or sister to wax poetic about her favorite Roblox game, and not everyone in her class plays that. But if I can make it seem like the coolest thing in the world to a 43-year old then that's literally the least I can do, and I'll do it every time.
I recently had the parent's dream, a few days alone with spouse and kid out of town. I could not have been more excited in the days leading up to this, but around 8 hours after they left, I was ready for their return. As mentioned, everything felt so spacious, but all of that space felt empty.
Parenting has been a JOURNEY and the most profound realization for me, a perpetual overachiever who also wishes for all the hours in the day to do all the grand things I said I'd do, has been that maybe the greatest thing I'm meant to do is just be a good mom. And that's more than enough.
Literally every time my MIL watches the kids overnight, my wife and I spend half of the time just expressing how thankful we are that her mom is around and willing to watch them so often. My wife likes to sleep in when the kids stay at mimi's, but I make it a point to get to her house before noon as to not upset the golden goose. Being able to have a night out AND a morning alone is monumental.
When the oldest was little, date night when the grandparents visited was going to the Dairy Queen up the street because that was the closest thing and it was glorious to sit in the van and eat ice cream. Due to a host of factors, including my in-laws making terrible life choices in real estate, we have yet to do this.
Today is the first week both girls are in daycare. Yesterday was a weird feeling having the house devoid of noise besides the clicking of keyboards and boring business talk while my wife and I worked from home. Today we are both in the office and it was a weird feeling everyone leaving the house this morning and it being completely silent as I locked the door.
Last year we moved 7 and 10 hours away from our parents. Really feeling that distance with young kids. When grandparents visit, it feels like its own mad dash to do all the things we've been planning since the last visit. We've definitely done that grocery store on a date night thing before!
*Furthest* grandparent for us is a mere 8 minutes by Google Maps. Certainly a blessing and at times a curse, but the blessings outweigh the curses by a mile so far.
We lived this for years, nearest family was 3.5 hrs away, so on the rare occasion we landed a sitter, we'd do our darnedest to spend time as husband and wife, but all conversations eventually end up about parenting. It was disturbing how often we had a night free and our go-to activity was "we can browse in nice stores without having a panic attack".
If it makes you feel any better about your cooking, when my son was about 2 he went to grandmommy's* house. While there he asked for cheese to eat. MIL dutifully picked out a kraft single and unwrapped it, as she had done for my neice and nephews.
He looked at the american cheese, looked back and her and simply said "Not cheese grandmommy."
It's what I get for feeding him sharp cheddar at 6 months. He is the only child who won't eat cheddar goldfish and Kraft mac and cheese that I have ever met. His younger sister is the complete opposite.
My wife and I used to watch jeopardy religiously before kids. I can’t fathom trying to negotiate with the kids about watching jeopardy instead of Peppa or Daniel Tiger before bed.
My only note on this is that from social media, it would be easy to believe that most of your friends with kids love spending time with them, and they probably do. But my goodness, the professional side of my life has taught me far too often that there are a number of people who just hate/resent their children. It's not arch as much as it is that they cannot get past the part where the kids are taking up _their_ time, and it makes me sad.
The strangest thing is when the kids are away on a weekday and you get home from work at 5:30 pm or whenever and it’s like, what do I do now? Watch the local news? That’s the Weird Hour for me when the kids are away.
"or when they just want to tell you something new about a video game character."
This struck me especially as the parent of an only child. She doesn't have a brother or sister to wax poetic about her favorite Roblox game, and not everyone in her class plays that. But if I can make it seem like the coolest thing in the world to a 43-year old then that's literally the least I can do, and I'll do it every time.
I choose to believe I was supposed to read the title in Sturgill's voice from the end of "Turtles All the Way Down".
I recently had the parent's dream, a few days alone with spouse and kid out of town. I could not have been more excited in the days leading up to this, but around 8 hours after they left, I was ready for their return. As mentioned, everything felt so spacious, but all of that space felt empty.
My mom let the older nieces have pepsi and chocolate cake for breakfast. That was not the menu when I was growing up.
Curiosity question, what did you make for the first meal with the kids back in the house?
here's a tweet that puts things in perspective: https://twitter.com/SahilBloom/status/1591424549773807616?s=20
Parenting has been a JOURNEY and the most profound realization for me, a perpetual overachiever who also wishes for all the hours in the day to do all the grand things I said I'd do, has been that maybe the greatest thing I'm meant to do is just be a good mom. And that's more than enough.
Literally every time my MIL watches the kids overnight, my wife and I spend half of the time just expressing how thankful we are that her mom is around and willing to watch them so often. My wife likes to sleep in when the kids stay at mimi's, but I make it a point to get to her house before noon as to not upset the golden goose. Being able to have a night out AND a morning alone is monumental.
When the oldest was little, date night when the grandparents visited was going to the Dairy Queen up the street because that was the closest thing and it was glorious to sit in the van and eat ice cream. Due to a host of factors, including my in-laws making terrible life choices in real estate, we have yet to do this.
Today is the first week both girls are in daycare. Yesterday was a weird feeling having the house devoid of noise besides the clicking of keyboards and boring business talk while my wife and I worked from home. Today we are both in the office and it was a weird feeling everyone leaving the house this morning and it being completely silent as I locked the door.
Last year we moved 7 and 10 hours away from our parents. Really feeling that distance with young kids. When grandparents visit, it feels like its own mad dash to do all the things we've been planning since the last visit. We've definitely done that grocery store on a date night thing before!
*Furthest* grandparent for us is a mere 8 minutes by Google Maps. Certainly a blessing and at times a curse, but the blessings outweigh the curses by a mile so far.
We lived this for years, nearest family was 3.5 hrs away, so on the rare occasion we landed a sitter, we'd do our darnedest to spend time as husband and wife, but all conversations eventually end up about parenting. It was disturbing how often we had a night free and our go-to activity was "we can browse in nice stores without having a panic attack".
If it makes you feel any better about your cooking, when my son was about 2 he went to grandmommy's* house. While there he asked for cheese to eat. MIL dutifully picked out a kraft single and unwrapped it, as she had done for my neice and nephews.
He looked at the american cheese, looked back and her and simply said "Not cheese grandmommy."
It's what I get for feeding him sharp cheddar at 6 months. He is the only child who won't eat cheddar goldfish and Kraft mac and cheese that I have ever met. His younger sister is the complete opposite.
*Designated name by oldest cousin.
My wife and I used to watch jeopardy religiously before kids. I can’t fathom trying to negotiate with the kids about watching jeopardy instead of Peppa or Daniel Tiger before bed.