Copyright that Pandacorn, you've got a gold mine of a children's show if you pair him with Holly as a pair of word detectives who solve vocabulary mysteries.
Until now I’ve resisted making any comment about Scott’s-dog-named-Holly, but now I feel I must. I feel Holly’s personality deep down and would be 100% willing to lend my voice/sass/snark/sarcasm to the project.
I often think of this anecdote that Jim Carrey once shared, about working with Tommy Lee Jones on "Batman Forever" and finding out that Jones hated him:
"“He started shaking and he got up, he must have been in mid-kill-me fantasy or something like that. He went to hug me and he said, ‘I hate you. I really don’t like you.‘ And I said, ‘Gee, man, what’s the problem?’ And I pulled up a chair, which probably wasn’t smart, and he said, ‘I cannot sanction your buffoonery.'”"
The Pandacorn is outstanding. Excellent work. We don't have special cake pans here, but we do have a particular cake serving plate and set of cake plates. They're cut glass with hearts around the edges and not particularly fancy -- except that I got them for Mrs DG as a gift back when we were young and skint and buying the things for Christmas seemed an impossible splurge. In any event, they are now the official "birthday plates" and must be used for any family celebration. My mother-in-law specifically requested them for her 89th birthday on Sunday. Much as your cake pans imbue flavor because of the love, I think those plates do the same.
Timely piece! Just yesterday I was corrected in thinking that my daughter was in the 1st grade (she's in the 2nd grade now). The struggle/denial is real.
Every attempt I’ve made at baked goods ends up looking like some commentary about our crumbling, end-stage capitalist empire, so you’re well ahead of the game, here.
Also…Pandacorn…pain du corn…was your daughter secretly encouraging your next recipe to be cornbread-based? We await Friday’s answer with bated breath.
As usual, I'm going to move right past the emotional damage you've inflicted on me before 9:00 a.m. on a weekday no less, to let you know that I too once felt that baking was outside of my Cooks skill set and then I met the King Arthur flour recipe pages. No fuss, no frills, well tested, great directions. It is first time I've ever been able to make a pie crust without failing and not only did I do it the first time I tried the recipe but I did it every single time I tried the recipe.
Okay so the mention of King Arthur Flour gives me an opening to tell a different adorable story.
Two years ago was the first time my kids really got to the age where they could start asking for specific things for Christmas, and we'd gotten the Amazon and Target holiday toy catalogs in the mail. We'd done the thing where we gave them a marker and told them to circle things they were interested in; of course, my son circled half the catalog.
Anyways, a few days later, I received the King Arthur Baking catalog in the mail, on account of having ordered bread flour from them a few times. I left it sitting on the counter, and later that night I found it; my (then-5-year-old) son had gone through it and circled all the pictures of cookies and cakes that he liked.
That's just good hustle. When DC#1 was about three, I had to go to New York for a couple of days. I asked him if there was anything he wanted me to bring back, and he answered "a picture of Uncle [Devil Bro] and a piece of chocolate cake." So, shoutout to disposable cameras (pre-iPhone) and the late, great Fluffy's bakery on West 58th for making that happen.
Masterful narrative buildup, all indications that the cake design will be an epic fail, and then the reveal! A masterpiece in word and icing design. Well-played.
Copyright that Pandacorn, you've got a gold mine of a children's show if you pair him with Holly as a pair of word detectives who solve vocabulary mysteries.
PANDACORN: [flies in on a sparkle rainbow]
HOLLY: dammit pandacorn you’re getting glitter on my crime scene
PANDACORN: But that’s how I commute! I can ride one of my glowing animal friends if you wa-
HOLLY: JUST TAKE THE TRAIN LIKE AN ADULT
Until now I’ve resisted making any comment about Scott’s-dog-named-Holly, but now I feel I must. I feel Holly’s personality deep down and would be 100% willing to lend my voice/sass/snark/sarcasm to the project.
I often think of this anecdote that Jim Carrey once shared, about working with Tommy Lee Jones on "Batman Forever" and finding out that Jones hated him:
"“He started shaking and he got up, he must have been in mid-kill-me fantasy or something like that. He went to hug me and he said, ‘I hate you. I really don’t like you.‘ And I said, ‘Gee, man, what’s the problem?’ And I pulled up a chair, which probably wasn’t smart, and he said, ‘I cannot sanction your buffoonery.'”"
(link: https://www.indiewire.com/2017/10/tommy-lee-jones-jim-carrey-batman-forever-1201884164/)
This is exactly the dynamic between my dogs, with Holly as Tommy Lee Jones and Olaf as Jim Carrey.
🤣 And the dynamic between me and my boys when they were teens. I love this. I will be reading about Holly and Olaf with new perspective.
PANDACORN: *gets into hijinks*
HOLLY: I will neither condone nor participate in such tomfoolery
[Olaf, watching at home] "That's true. That's true to Holly's character, that's good writing."
[Scott] "How did Olaf manage to stand on top of an LED TV?"
[Melvar]: "He found a way."
TAKE MY DAMN MONEY ALREADY
The Pandacorn is outstanding. Excellent work. We don't have special cake pans here, but we do have a particular cake serving plate and set of cake plates. They're cut glass with hearts around the edges and not particularly fancy -- except that I got them for Mrs DG as a gift back when we were young and skint and buying the things for Christmas seemed an impossible splurge. In any event, they are now the official "birthday plates" and must be used for any family celebration. My mother-in-law specifically requested them for her 89th birthday on Sunday. Much as your cake pans imbue flavor because of the love, I think those plates do the same.
I dare Paul Hollywood to say anything bad about that cake.
Paul and Prue found my flavor profile of chocolate cake with vanilla frosting to be quite unusual and bold, perhaps lacking in lavender or rosewater.
Paul: [takes bite of cake] hmm, the sponge has a bit of a close text-[Paul gets slapped in the face by the readers of ACBN]
Am I crying? Yes. Is it because our child is due in November? Yes. I will be a blubbering mess for the foreseeable future.
Also, House of The Dragon can fuck right off with all the tragic labor scenes.
seriously can we just not HOTD??
There should be a "do not watch if you're expecting" warning.
Why couldn't they have used the filter that makes it too dark to see what the fuck is going on for those scenes?!
That's a damn good Pandacorn
So after reading this, I have one thing to say, Scott.
You undersell your talent.
Oh, and I may be jealous.
Thank you!
Timely piece! Just yesterday I was corrected in thinking that my daughter was in the 1st grade (she's in the 2nd grade now). The struggle/denial is real.
Hot damn. That’s a heluva job there.
I was expecting more of a Purple Panda from "Donkey Hodey" look
Every attempt I’ve made at baked goods ends up looking like some commentary about our crumbling, end-stage capitalist empire, so you’re well ahead of the game, here.
Also…Pandacorn…pain du corn…was your daughter secretly encouraging your next recipe to be cornbread-based? We await Friday’s answer with bated breath.
Sometimes the emotional-terrorism is positive.
This was a great read with a happy ending. Glad you were able to keep the magic going for another year.
As usual, I'm going to move right past the emotional damage you've inflicted on me before 9:00 a.m. on a weekday no less, to let you know that I too once felt that baking was outside of my Cooks skill set and then I met the King Arthur flour recipe pages. No fuss, no frills, well tested, great directions. It is first time I've ever been able to make a pie crust without failing and not only did I do it the first time I tried the recipe but I did it every single time I tried the recipe.
Okay so the mention of King Arthur Flour gives me an opening to tell a different adorable story.
Two years ago was the first time my kids really got to the age where they could start asking for specific things for Christmas, and we'd gotten the Amazon and Target holiday toy catalogs in the mail. We'd done the thing where we gave them a marker and told them to circle things they were interested in; of course, my son circled half the catalog.
Anyways, a few days later, I received the King Arthur Baking catalog in the mail, on account of having ordered bread flour from them a few times. I left it sitting on the counter, and later that night I found it; my (then-5-year-old) son had gone through it and circled all the pictures of cookies and cakes that he liked.
That's just good hustle. When DC#1 was about three, I had to go to New York for a couple of days. I asked him if there was anything he wanted me to bring back, and he answered "a picture of Uncle [Devil Bro] and a piece of chocolate cake." So, shoutout to disposable cameras (pre-iPhone) and the late, great Fluffy's bakery on West 58th for making that happen.
Smart man.
OK, that's a great cake.
Your daughter is a lucky one, this is great work!
Gat dang this one hit me in the feels.
My kids are now 9, 7, and 5 and I don’t like it one bit.
Well done on the cake, pops. You crushed it.
Thank you!
Masterful narrative buildup, all indications that the cake design will be an epic fail, and then the reveal! A masterpiece in word and icing design. Well-played.