188 Comments

"There’s a guy in an Ohio State polo shirt trying to hit on a table of seven women, none of whom appear to be the least bit interested."

Enough about Urbz's adventures from last Saturday night.

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If I can be completely honest here, this line was inspired by seeing this exact scene play out at a bar on Friday night. In reality, it was a Michigan polo, but I'm trying to avoid seeming like I'm picking on Michigan all the time. Also, as Dublin Dad proved, Ohio State Man would do this.

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Dublin Dad, worst superhero ever, tied with Ohio State Man

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Before this weekend, my first association with the phrase "Dublin Dad" would have been Colm Meaney in the Commmitments, the Snapper, and the Van, and frankly I'm a little miffed that now I've got Urbz messing that up in my head.

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The Committments is one of the greatest films (filims) ever.

I got the soundtrack on CD for $1 at a thriftstore once in Buffalo, NY and remains probably my best thriftstore find ever

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It's on the shortlist of greatest movie soundtracks ever, especially if you're going by music performed in the film. That lead singer was apparently a dick in real life too but damn could he belt it.

I also enjoyed seeing one of the backup singers pop up in Orphan Black. I totally geeked out when she sang in one episode

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Since HS, the days of burning questionably obtained music from the internet onto CDs, all of my playlists have been called "Random Noise", because it will go from Ian Malcom saying "Life Finds Away" in Jurassic Park to the Spice Girls "Wannabe" to "The Theme from Land of the Lost". So here is my Random Noise Bar Edition Playlist

1) "Theme from Cheers" classic bar song whose lyrics are way different than you remember.

2) "I Want It That Way" Backstreet Boys classic that will get everyone singing

3) "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" Charlie Daniels Band another classic bar song that will appase the country music fans and get no complaints from anyone else

BONUS TRACK- "Adrian Cronauer Pt 4" from the Good Morning Vietnam Soundtrack. Robin Williams intros the next song

4. "Dancing Queen" Abba

5. "Tribute" Tenacious D

6. "Firework" by Katy Perry as covered by Jennie Lena from "The Interview" Soundtrack

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This is absolutely chaotic and I love it.

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Love the assortment! I do think you should have added Hanson's Mmmbop.

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Let's get weird:

1 - The General (Dispatch)

We're gonna rope-a-dope this bar.

2 - Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic (The Police)

I forgot to mention that as the set list goes along, we're adding band members

3 - Girlfriend (Matthew Sweet)

We have a bass player, but we ALSO have a guitar player.

4 - This Year (Mountain Goats)

The unexpected singalong

5 - Skyfall (Adele/Paul F. Tompkins)

Wait, you have a brass section?

6 - Get It On (Chase)

Holy shit, and WHAT a brass section it is! Good night, Bloomington-Normal!

By now, the bar is deeply confused and delighted, and I consider this evening a success.

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Whew, this is low-key a great set.

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I will allow you a seventh song if you add a full marching band.

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Ten Things I Hate About You provides us with “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You,” but that starts too slow… there’s always Tusk as the bar dumps its rowdy patrons into the street.

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As it happens, the only versions of Fleetwood Mac songs that I would seek out are the performances of Tusk by Camper von Beethoven and the SC marching band, so I'd absolutely stick around for this

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The Kinks - Come Dancing, and we're going to get that one maudlin guy in the back tearing up at the bridge to be the drum major when the band comes in

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Yesssss, Matthew Sweet. "Girlfriend" is an inspired choice, though I may have done "Sick of Myself" too.

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"I WANNA LOVE SOMEBODY!!!"

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You had me at The General. I'm staying for this whole weird journey

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I think I could enjoy a beer at the deeply confused bar.

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1. "Jesse's Girl" by Rick Springfield -- no one has ever not enjoyed this song, it builds well (from the lower and quieter "Jesse was a friend..." intro to the highs of the "HOW CAN I FIND A WOMAN LIKE THAT), and it will lure them in.

2. "September" by Earth, Wind & Fire -- need to play something with some rhythm/funk to it that people can dance to, and this wedding reception staple is it.

3. "Wagon Wheel" - you need some country, but "Friends in Low Places" is a little played out, so you go for this song that everyone knows the lyrics to to please the country-western demo.

4. "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson -- you slowed it down with the country, but you need to start luring the people out to the dance floor again, so you go with the King of Pop, but not the more obvious choices (ABC, Billie Jean). Nice beat, backup singers get to help, drummer gives the folks something to clap/snap to.

5. "Respect" by Aretha Franklin -- now to cook with gas and build the crowd on the dance floor, you give a nod to the ladies in the crowd (knowing that the men will follow them), and play this Aretha Franklin staple (rather than Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive", which would also fit here but is a little too slow/not as much fun).

6. "Uptown Funk" - close it out with something from the 21st century that shows you got the range, but still hits the right notes with the older crowd, and this does that perfectly.

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(And yes, I am a former wedding DJ, why do you ask?)

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you're hired

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I'd love to have had you DJ a party!

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Dang, that's a master class in happy crowd manipulation, and adds evidence for my theory that Bruno Mars was created in a lab to be the universal party songs act. I once saw five generations of a family all dance to Uptown Funk at a wedding.

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The dirty secret of being a wedding DJ: Everyone, regardless of age, loves Motown music. It was (depending on your age) the pop music that your grandparents had to listen to with your parents, your parents' favorite music, and music that you/younger kids like because it's basically the sample looped into every popular hip-hop song ever.

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At my son's wedding, there was lots of Motown, and it kept every age group from age 13-80 dancing.

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That makes my heart happy :)

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It was SO CUTE. Toddler, young mama, all the way up to great-great-grandmama.

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we play neck and we leave

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I respect your decision.

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I'm never going to disagree with letting the band play Neck

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that is a definitive move and I'm here for it.

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1) "Party in the USA" - We're starting this off strong. The first thing anyone is gonna hear is that guitar riff.

2) "Galway Girl" - Who doesn't love a bit of Steve Earle? I'd rather go with "Copperhead Road", but our bagpiper (bagpipist?) left the band after the great "Shipping Up To Boston" Rift of 2018

3) "S.O.B." - Assuming this particular establishment doesn't mind a bit of light swearing.

4) "Friends in Low Places" - I hate to copycat you, but this is a perfect selection.

5) "All The Small Things" - The people are gonna sing along, especially when we get to the "NA NA NA NA NA NA NA" part

6) "Purple Rain" - We started strong, we're gonna end it strong. But probably not do all 3 minutes of the outro.

I pick all these knowing absolutely zero about how hard they are to actually play because I cannot the music or sing.

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Mr. Brightside is the closer, that's all I know.

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1. “The Middle,” Jimmy Eat World. It’s simple to play, easy to sing, low chance of screwing up.

2. “I Believe in a Thing Called Love,” The Darkness. Do this before your singer’s voice is cracked. You know he can’t hit the falsetto, but he doesn’t.

3. “C’est le vie,” Chuck Berry. Two chords. Your singer needs a break. Get the crowd back and dancing like Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace.

4. “Born This Way,” Lady Gaga. Gotta have something from this century.

5. “Don’t Stop Me Now,” Queen. By now everybody is fairly drunk and will put up with your lead singer’s Freddy Mercury posing. About the most attainable Queen song.

6. “Show Me the Way to Go Home,” standard. Do it in whatever style suits your band, but a slow, drinking song-style rollick is best for “Show me the way to go home / I’m tired and I want to go to bed / I had a little drink about an hour ago / and it went right to my head.”

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One time at dive bar karaoke, a bachelor party crashed. The groom did I Believe In a Thing Called Love and nailed it note for note. Brought down the house. Absolute cheat code

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Strongly considered The Middle for my list. It was also my best song on Guitar Hero.

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I am intrigued by your fifth choice

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I went to a small music festival in my town this weekend. I went early and saw the first of 3 bands scheduled for the day. While this isn't what they played, this is what my band, Jackie Daytona and the Gizmos would play if we landed that gig. No explanations given because no explanations are needed.

1. Mustang Sally - Wilson Pickett

2. Semi-Charmed Kind of Life - Third Eye Blind

3. Birdhouse in Your Soul - They Might Be Giants

4. Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne

5. And She Was - The Talking Heads

6. Take Me Home Country Roads - John Denver

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This is the "win the crowd over" set. These are all songs I can personally play, so that takes care of "mediocre bar band".

Opener: Little Feat: Willin'

2nd: Nick Lowe's Cruel to be Kind, but done like Letters to Cleo- more uptempo than the original

3rd: Seger- Turn the Page

4th Biz Markie: Just a Friend.

5th: Ryan Adams: Oh My Sweet Carolina

6th: Beatles: Back in the USSR

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oh now your 2nd song makes me want to swap in the Letters To Cleo version of "I Want You To Want Me"

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I saw "Live at Budokan" LP for $5 once, and passed. I don't remember why. I didn't have cash on me, or I was like "I'll grab that on the way out so I don't have to carry it around/possibly break it"

But the moral of the story is when I went back for it it was gone.

It haunts me to this day.

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All the live energy.

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me, clearly overserved, shouting in the back: "PLAY MORE LITTLE FEAT"

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I almost opened with "Join the Band/ Fat Man in the Bathtub".

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someone here said you could do a whole setlist with just bob seger songs and the same applies to little feat.

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Suggestion: ACBN Bar Playlist on Spotify

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Oh that's exactly where i thought this was going anyway

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It wasn't, but now it is. I'll pull it together when I get a chance.

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The secret to any successful bar band is playing songs drunk girls will sing along to. That being said ignore my first entry.

Thin Lizzy-Boys are Back in Town

Heart-Barracuda

Outkast-Hey Ya

Toto-Africa

Journey-Don’t Stop Believing

Isley Brothers-Shout

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if you play shout at a bar, i'm doing the animal house thing where i casually walk up and smash your guitar to smithereens.

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Night Moves-Bob Seger: Seger playing the role of Fleetwood Mac here

What's Up- 4 Non Blondes: I think can hit the finally left the kids at home demographic.

Rock n Roll All Night-KISS: No one hates this song. Gets people to order another beer.

Rockstar -Nickelback: Everyone may not like Nickelback but they know Nickelback and that is close enough, and there is whole swatch of millennials that liked Nickelback.

I Think We're Alone Now- Tommy James and Shondells: gets both the 60s and 80s groups with the Tiffany cover.

Mainstreet- Bob Seger: I know I double Seger'd but Mainstreet is the greatest bar song in the world. When you hear it you think, I should be at a bar or get to one as quick as I can.

Most of these song will also cause part of the crowd to sing along, which reminds people of a real concert and then they are having a good time and bonding with the other people that know those songs.

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Nope, Seger is an excellent excellent bar band choice (and I say this as a Metro Detroiter who can see through his obvious pro-Seger bias.)

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You could really play 6 Seger songs and absolutely kill it

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He prided himself on having one of the best live shows in the country and toured constantly. There's something to knowing you have songs that work in a live setting. (He also wrote one of the greatest laments about touring ever in "Turn the Page")

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There is no such thing as pro-Seger bias, because facts are facts.

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Little known fact, "Night Moves" is about the life and times of PAK

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I have to think about my six songs, but I know I'm closing with Wonderwall.

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I'm glad there was a Hootie mention in here, as it has long been my position that Hootie themselves are the greatest bar band of all time, and I say that as a compliment.

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I think they even made peace with that at some point in their career (Also, upon relisten, "The Old Man and Me" would have been a great song as one of the later singles from the first album, only to realize it was one of their core four songs from their EP that got them their first album.)

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"Folsom Prison Blues" Johnny Cash

It sort of feels like we've been locked up for 18 months, and you unsuccessfully tried to get put into solitary confinement. (The 6-year old had a shiv...)

"Time Is On My Side" The Rolling Stones

A guy can dream can't he?

"Blister in the Sun" Violent Femmes

Need to get the crowd involved. Also, why not try to instigate some awkward questions from the kids on the car ride home.

"Angel From Montgomery" John Prine

Proceeded by a semi-longwinded rant about John Prine dying of Covid then telling the crowd to get vaccinated. Your wife who's standing at the bar gives you a look, so you shut-up and start the song.

"Werewolves of London" Warren Zevon

For Halloween

"Rockin' in the Free World" Neil Young

The recently divorced bass player's kind of drunk now. He keeps changing the chorus to "Keep on rockin' out with Free Bird". His buddies think this is fantastic and they try to join in.

The owner pulls the plug. You're not invited back.

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