My children at 7 AM on a Mon-Fri: "Ugh, why must i get up"
My children at 6:29 AM on a Sat-Sun: "I must sprint as fast as possible all over this house and scream at my sibling, plus somehow get dressed with wooden soled shoes"
This, minus the Pokemon talk, is quite similar to the conversation I have every morning as well, only it's with my wife. She's a teacher and she is not OK.
Me: That's usually bad gas or diarrhea. (gives her kid's anti-gas medicine and then kids anti-diarrhea medicine. Cleans medicine delivery syringe and pipette)
8yo: Daddy, I threw up the green medicine.
So, wife took 7yo to school and I'm currently getting dressed enough to run to work to get my laptop so I can WFH. So thank you for the laughs.
This hits home, except for the whole telling kids to get dressed and they don't end up just sitting on their bed and having a deep conversation with their stuffies about black holes.
Too real. Too real. Especially the existential dread popping up at inopportune moments. We have dealt with black holes, the expansion of our sun and the destruction of earth, a thought experiment of what would happen if the earth stops spinning, and worst of all, the pure terror of Charlotte’s Web.
Being a double TK, my son has had to learn hard and fast that mornings are not the time for bleeping around, especially since he has to wake up at 6 AM.
Prepping for [fill in sport here] practice, however, is where he has gained his revenge.
yeah, seems that the heels dig in deepest on days that we have to be somewhere early. But when I proposed that if we consistently can't get done on time getting up at [time], maybe we should get up earlier, well, wifey was VERY clear that was not an option.
Suit yourself, sweetie, but the kids are learning those words you're using when they refuse your help to get them out the door on time.
Just for the record, I have sussed out that the "other" F-word is "fart"
your brain is a lot purer than mine.
If you wiretap my house again, I’m gonna sue
You gotta read those terms and conditions closely when you sign up for stuff.
my watch told me to calm down as i was halfway though reading this
As I’m reading this, my wife texts me to let me know my son left his shoes in my car. I’m 40 minutes away at work and his bus arrives in 10 minutes.
Ahahahaha noooooo
My children at 7 AM on a Mon-Fri: "Ugh, why must i get up"
My children at 6:29 AM on a Sat-Sun: "I must sprint as fast as possible all over this house and scream at my sibling, plus somehow get dressed with wooden soled shoes"
[nodding somberly and exhaustedly]
the best part of being a childless uncle is witnessing this in person at my brother's house
Cmon man, you gotta put up a Trigger Warning at the beginning of these
I feel like it's implied at this point?
I have no one to blame but myself. And my children.
This, minus the Pokemon talk, is quite similar to the conversation I have every morning as well, only it's with my wife. She's a teacher and she is not OK.
i don't want a waffle i want cereal
My 8yr old this morning: My tummy hurts.
Me: Where does it hurt?
8yo: (Points to area below belly button)
Me: That's usually bad gas or diarrhea. (gives her kid's anti-gas medicine and then kids anti-diarrhea medicine. Cleans medicine delivery syringe and pipette)
8yo: Daddy, I threw up the green medicine.
So, wife took 7yo to school and I'm currently getting dressed enough to run to work to get my laptop so I can WFH. So thank you for the laughs.
Oof. Good luck today.
Sometimes I really miss when my kids were little, but I do not miss mornings like this!
This hits home, except for the whole telling kids to get dressed and they don't end up just sitting on their bed and having a deep conversation with their stuffies about black holes.
Too real. Too real. Especially the existential dread popping up at inopportune moments. We have dealt with black holes, the expansion of our sun and the destruction of earth, a thought experiment of what would happen if the earth stops spinning, and worst of all, the pure terror of Charlotte’s Web.
Being a double TK, my son has had to learn hard and fast that mornings are not the time for bleeping around, especially since he has to wake up at 6 AM.
Prepping for [fill in sport here] practice, however, is where he has gained his revenge.
yeah, seems that the heels dig in deepest on days that we have to be somewhere early. But when I proposed that if we consistently can't get done on time getting up at [time], maybe we should get up earlier, well, wifey was VERY clear that was not an option.
Suit yourself, sweetie, but the kids are learning those words you're using when they refuse your help to get them out the door on time.
i'm crying-laughing over here.
I WANT A WAFFLE.
WE'RE OUT OF WAFFLES
THEN MAKE ME PANCAKES, BUT CUT HOLES IN THEM.
WITH NUTELLA
WE'RE OUT OF NUTELLA
I WANT PIZZA FOR DINNER. BUT THE GOOD PIZZA, NOT THE ONE YOU MAKE
lol literally had this convo with my daughter yesterday:
me: "do you want pasta for lunch?"
her: "no pasta is for dinner"
me: "do you want chicken nuggets?"
her: "that's breakfast"
me, laughing: "do you want chocolate cake?"
her: "no....yes"
me: "we can't have cake for lunch. do you want peanut butter and jelly?"
her: "yes!"
proceeds to eat two bites.
kids can be brutal when they want to be.