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I don't really have a recipe for this because it literally changes each time we make it, but one weekend during high school, we went to visit my grandparents who lived on a mountainside outside Asheville. My grandmother was always prone to wild ideas in the kitchen, some of which worked, and some of which bombed miserably (like trying to feed my now-wife who has a strong distaste for okra some especially okra-laden gumbo on her first visit). On this particular visit, she had acquired a paella pan and your bog-standard spice blend in a bag containing stale paprika and very old saffron. She also got some _very_ good shellfish from a local fishmonger, and without having any idea what the hell we were doing, we set out to make paella on that spring afternoon.

While my mother, grandmother, and I were trying our best to follow the poorly translated recipe that was packed in and doing everything we could to make sure the pan didn't overflow, my dad and grandfather were sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a beer and "stupidvising" (their words, not mine) our antics. After several hours of chopping, sauteing, and finishing the pan in the oven, it was delightful.

It eventually became part of the semi-regular rotation at her house and we made it at least once every couple of years or so. After my wife and I set off on our own, we picked up a paella pan (and used spices from Penzeys) and set off to make it our own way, loaded with shrimp, chicken, chorizo, rabbit (when we can get it), peppers, onions, tomatoes (from our garden when possible), green beans, chicken stock, white wine, and more. I also cook it on my kamado grill (and usually we have to have an overflow pan that I cook on my outdoor propane burner; yes, we own two pans) instead of finishing in the oven. It has become our traditional Christmas Eve dinner somehow.

Before you ask, we didn't think we have any significant Spanish ancestry but it does turn out that there's some Sephardic Jewish ancestry way up there somewhere.

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This is great. (I love paella, I even have a paella pan, but I've never quite mastered it.)

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One does not simply master paella

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