I thought about doing my Rust Belt hometown, but the former major employer list would just turn the song into The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald with occasional mention of lights
I just found out I’m getting new neighbors in the form of the Washington Wizards, so I’m afraid my version of these lyrics would be far more profanity-laden than appropriate for this newsletter’s vibe.
You nailed the characteristics of even my mid-sized city! I had no trouble customizing the lyrics, though I did have to Google some things. Like the last time our Amerks hockey team won the AHL championship. I did learn they remain the second-oldest franchise in the AHL behind only the Hershey Bears.
this was my first thought too. When I moved to the DC area I almost crashed my car the first time I heard it (I was so baffled by "wait a minute, is this a real song?") but in fairness there was probably also a driver going the wrong way down a one-way road
Gah! Emotional terrorism in the realization that I defaulted to thinking of my current home (10 years) rather than my actual hometown (25). Have I become a true Nashvillian? Then again, Beverly Briley did say “this is my kinda town”
Realizing that I don't think Pearson has anything particularly notable to use as a landmark. Definitely no Blucifer equivalent but idk that there's even anything notable beyond the lack of a terminal 2
Touched down at CHA on a cold December night
That set of six terminals was such a welcome sight
Was on the road all autumn, gone for Halloween and Thanksgiving
But to be away at Christmas? My friend, that just ain't living.
I've flown from Sydney to Toronto, Osaka to Belize
Still there's nowhere that I'd rather be this frigid Christmas Eve
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Chattanooga, and everybody's merry
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be all that scary
Broad Street's all lit up, shop windows decorated
And I just think this city is ideally located
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
It's true we've had some hard times, since Standard Coosa-Thatcher Textile shut down
But like Rudy Olgiati said, this is my kind of town
We'd go down to one of several Belk's, I'd sit on Santa's lap
You can't go to Knoxville and do a thing like that
Now, David Glen says it doesn't look like we'll get snow
But the weather here's unpredictable, just like everybody knows
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Chattanooga, and everybody's full of song
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't take very long
Broad Street's all lit up, bedecked in red and green
I hear that they've got the sidewalks swept up all nice and clean
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
We've been through it all, had our fair share of tears
The Lookouts haven't won it all in nearly 50 years
The Downtown Library is sinking, 'cause they didn't weigh the books
And those folks at Coca Cola are all a bunch of crooks
Our potholes are uniquely big, our drivers uniquely bad
But we've still got the best Tuna Sushi with Spicy Ketchup (tbh idk if there's a local food style here) anyone's ever had
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Chattanooga, and everybody's on the double
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be too much trouble
Broad Street's all lit up, jingle bell dogs are barking
I hope we don't have too much trouble finding parking
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
"If you ain't been here lately," the cabbie said, "you're in for a surprise"
The Southside district's been totally revitalized
They've got a fancy food hall, funky murals on all the buildings
I hear that's where Usher has a condominium
They close down MLK each year for the Festive Forest festival
Spring's great here, summer and fall too, but one season's best of all
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Chattanooga, and everybody's full of cheer
We'll go downtown to see the lights, just like we did last year
Broad Street's all lit up, hearts are filled with glee
We'll stay in the car but we'll slow down as we drive by the tree
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
As we pulled off at Market Street, the wind blew extra cold
The Moon Pie Retail Location was closed up tight, their candy canes all sold
I looked up and snow began to fall on my beloved city
As it fell, even the High Time Climbing building looked kind of pretty
It's the perfect place, the perfect time, for Santa's introduction
I just hope he doesn't get hung up in Hixson Pike construction
this worked exactly as I hoped, thank you for this
Touched down at BWI on a cold December night
That A3 Atrium was such a welcome sight
Was on the road all autumn, gone for Halloween and Thanksgiving
But to be away at Christmas? My friend, that just ain't living.
I've flown from Sydney to Toronto, Osaka to Belize
Still there's nowhere that I'd rather be this frigid Christmas Eve
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Baltimore, and everybody's merry
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be all that scary
Pratt Street's all lit up, shop windows decorated
And I just think this city is ideally located
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
It's true we've had some hard times, since Bethlehem Steel shut down
But like William D. Schaefer said, this is my kind of town
We'd go down to Hecht’s, I'd sit on Santa's lap
You can't go to Pittsburgh and do a thing like that
Now, Tom Tasselmyer says it doesn't look like we'll get snow
But the weather here's unpredictable, just like everybody knows
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Baltimore, and everybody's full of song
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't take very long
Pratt Street's all lit up, bedecked in red and green
I hear that they've got the sidewalks swept up all nice and clean
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
We've been through it all, had our fair share of tears
The Orioles haven't won it all in nearly 40 years
The Enoch Pratt is sinking, 'cause they didn't weigh the books
And those folks at Pabst Brewing are all a bunch of crooks
Our potholes are uniquely big, our drivers uniquely bad
But we've still got the best crab cakes anyone's ever had
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Baltimore, and everybody's on the double
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be too much trouble
Pratt Street’s all lit up, jingle bell dogs are barking
I hope we don't have too much trouble finding parking
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
"If you ain't been here lately," the cabbie said, "you're in for a surprise"
The Hampden district's been totally revitalized
They've got a fancy food hall, funky murals on all the buildings
I hear that's where Cal Ripken Jr. has a condominium
They close down 36th Street each year for the Honfest festival
Spring's great here, summer and fall too, but one season's best of all
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in Baltimore, and everybody's full of cheer
We'll go downtown to see the lights, just like we did last year
Pratt Street's all lit up, hearts are filled with glee
We'll stay in the car but we'll slow down as we drive by the tree
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
As we pulled off at Fayette, the wind blew extra cold
Wockenfuss was closed up tight, their candy canes all sold
I looked up and snow began to fall on my beloved city
As it fell, even the Bromo Seltzer building looked kind of pretty
It's the perfect place, the perfect time, for Santa's introduction
I just hope he doesn't get hung up in 695 construction
'cause there's nowhere just like here's like at Christmaaaaaaaaaaas
yesssss
I thought about doing my Rust Belt hometown, but the former major employer list would just turn the song into The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald with occasional mention of lights
the legend lives on from Ancient Myra on down of the man that they call St. Nicholas...
I just found out I’m getting new neighbors in the form of the Washington Wizards, so I’m afraid my version of these lyrics would be far more profanity-laden than appropriate for this newsletter’s vibe.
This works. James Spann forecasting yuletide tornadoes feels appropriate for this year
too much work. easier to do the Huey Lewis trick and just yell random city names during the fadeout.
wait wait, even the Jimmy Eat World version of Last Christmas?
I was not aware they had done one. I'll be back in 4-5 minutes.
Exception that proves the rule. It's excellent, but it's Jimmy Eat World, so of course it is.
This is awesome! Your template works perfectly. I love learning so much about random mid-sized cities/towns. :)
Turns out I don't know my city well enough to do this song so I think I'll make up some mad libs gibberish instead.
In the meantime, check these out:
bsky-social-fs7ni-qrtc4
bsky-social-watoz-md6cl
bsky-social-tuqsr-qkrkf
bsky-social-zkcrg-rzvrj
bsky-social-xl7y3-zps7t
You nailed the characteristics of even my mid-sized city! I had no trouble customizing the lyrics, though I did have to Google some things. Like the last time our Amerks hockey team won the AHL championship. I did learn they remain the second-oldest franchise in the AHL behind only the Hershey Bears.
Touched down at ROC on a cold December night
The PLAY ZONES were such a welcome sight
Was on the road all autumn, gone for Halloween and Thanksgiving
But to be away at Christmas? My friend, that just ain't living.
I've flown from Sydney to Toronto, Osaka to Belize
Still there's nowhere that I'd rather be this frigid Christmas Eve
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in ROCHESTER, and everybody's merry
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be all that scary
LIBERTY POLE's all lit up, shop windows decorated
And I just think this city is ideally located
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
It's true we've had some hard times, since KODAK shut down
But like THOMAS P. RYAN JR said, this is my kind of town
We'd go down to SIBLEY'S, I'd sit on Santa's lap
You can't go to BUFFALO and do a thing like that
Now, SCOTTY HETSKO says it doesn't look like we'll get snow
But the weather here's unpredictable, just like everybody knows
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in ROCHESTER, and everybody's full of song
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't take very long
LIBERTY POLE's all lit up, bedecked in red and green
I hear that they've got the sidewalks swept up all nice and clean
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
We've been through it all, had our fair share of tears
The AMERKS haven't won it all in nearly 30 years
The RUNDELL LIBRARY is sinking, 'cause they didn't weigh the books
And those folks at KMART are all a bunch of crooks
Our potholes are uniquely big, our drivers uniquely bad
But we've still got the best GARBAGE PLATES anyone's ever had
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in ROCHESTER, and everybody's on the double
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be too much trouble
LIBERTY POLE's all lit up, jingle bell dogs are barking
I hope we don't have too much trouble finding parking
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
"If you ain't been here lately," the cabbie said, "you're in for a surprise"
The EAST END district's been totally revitalized
They've got a fancy food hall, funky murals on all the buildings
I hear that's where DON ALHART has a condominium
They close down FREDERICK DOUGLASS ST each year for the CORN HILL ART festival
Spring's great here, summer and fall too, but one season's best of all
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in ROCHESTER, and everybody's full of cheer
We'll go downtown to see the lights, just like we did last year
LIBERTY POLE's all lit up, hearts are filled with glee
We'll stay in the car but we'll slow down as we drive by the tree
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
As we pulled off at EXIT 13, the wind blew extra cold
STEVER'S CANDIES was closed up tight, their candy canes all sold
I looked up and snow began to fall on my beloved city
As it fell, even the XEROX TOWER building looked kind of pretty
It's the perfect place, the perfect time, for Santa's introduction
I just hope he doesn't get hung up in 390/490/590 construction
'cause there's nowhere just like here's like at Christmaaaaaaaaaaas
I like that you capitalized the stuff you filled in, it’s like an instruction for the locals to shout along
I did it to keep track of what to fill in, but I LOVE your idea better!
But ACB, there’s already a treacly “Christmas Eve in Washington” https://youtu.be/1F5-vROAKNw?si=0YYUMKCes3Mt6qU9
this was my first thought too. When I moved to the DC area I almost crashed my car the first time I heard it (I was so baffled by "wait a minute, is this a real song?") but in fairness there was probably also a driver going the wrong way down a one-way road
*a* driver? there were hundreds of 'em!
no joke, I saw a car driving the wrong way *down a sidewalk* last week
I always make sure I’m driving the right way down the sidewalk
Ditto San Francisco:" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhrH3AVsm2A"
I didn't know about this one until I lived in the Bay Area for a few years. It (understandably) hasn't traveled very far.
This is my second Christmas in SF, so thank you for the introduction!
Touched down at ORD on a cold December night
That LIGHT TUNNELS was such a welcome sight
Was on the road all autumn, gone for Halloween and Thanksgiving
But to be away at Christmas? My friend, that just ain't living.
I've flown from Sydney to Toronto, Osaka to Belize
Still there's nowhere that I'd rather be this frigid Christmas Eve
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in CHICAGO L, and everybody's merry
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be all that scary
STATE STREET's all lit up, shop windows decorated
And I just think this city is ideally located
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
It's true we've had some hard times, since SEARS shut down
But like HAROLD WASHINGTON said, this is my kind of town
We'd go down to MARSHALL FIELDS, I'd sit on Santa's lap
You can't go to NEW YORK and do a thing like that
Now, TOM SKILLING says it doesn't look like we'll get snow
But the weather here's unpredictable, just like everybody knows
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in CHICAGO, and everybody's full of song
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't take very long
STATE STREET's all lit up, bedecked in red and green
I hear that they've got the sidewalks swept up all nice and clean
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
We've been through it all, had our fair share of tears
The BULLS haven't won it all in nearly THIRTY years
The WASHINGTON LIBRARY is sinking, 'cause they didn't weigh the books
And those folks at WILLIS are all a bunch of crooks
Our potholes are uniquely big, our drivers uniquely bad
But we've still got the best DEEP DISH anyone's ever had
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in CHICAGO, and everybody's on the double
We'll go downtown to see the lights, it won't be too much trouble
STATE STREET's all lit up, jingle bell dogs are barking
I hope we don't have too much trouble finding parking
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
"If you ain't been here lately," the cabbie said, "you're in for a surprise"
The WEST LOOP district's been totally revitalized
They've got a fancy food hall, funky murals on all the buildings
I hear that's where BILL MURRAY has a condominium
They close down COLUMBUS STREET each year for LOLLAPALOOZA
Spring's great here, summer and fall too, but one season's best of all
[chorus]
It's Christmastime in CHICAGO, and everybody's full of cheer
We'll go downtown to see the lights, just like we did last year
STATE STREET's all lit up, hearts are filled with glee
We'll stay in the car but we'll slow down as we drive by the tree
I've been all around the world, and one place is the best
There's nowhere just like here's like at Christmas.
As we pulled off at THE LOOP, the wind blew extra cold
MARA CANDY was closed up tight, their candy canes all sold
I looked up and snow began to fall on my beloved city
As it fell, even the COOK COUNTY PRISON building looked kind of pretty
It's the perfect place, the perfect time, for Santa's introduction
I just hope he doesn't get hung up in RT 90 construction
'cause there's nowhere just like here's like at Christmaaaaaaaaaaas
Gah! Emotional terrorism in the realization that I defaulted to thinking of my current home (10 years) rather than my actual hometown (25). Have I become a true Nashvillian? Then again, Beverly Briley did say “this is my kinda town”
Realizing that I don't think Pearson has anything particularly notable to use as a landmark. Definitely no Blucifer equivalent but idk that there's even anything notable beyond the lack of a terminal 2
Fancy Like ACBN Christmas?