48 Comments
Dec 13, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I want someone to adapt this for video, I need to see these reindeer talk.

Also, what’s this about a print version?

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I....but, how? How does your brain pull this all together?

Simply awestruck.

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sometimes it's best not to know how the sausage is made.

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Dec 13, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

You magnificent bastard.

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founding
Dec 13, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I imagine these reindeer would have a lot to share with the Penn State lion.

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author

oh god this really is just a longform Real Mascot Secrets, isn't it? it didn't occur to me while writing.

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founding

Jack Nicholson Nodding dot gif

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and i support that

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“Coördinated,” eh? Smart of you to format this in advance to be picked up by The New Yorker.

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author

I really hoped at least one person would pick up on that joke, so thank you.

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As I come back to this, I think what I love most about this is that as great as the content details are, it absolutely NAILS the style parody elements in a way that is so subtle, so organic, you don't even realize it until well after it has been read.

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Dec 13, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Scott I am only like 8 paragraphs in but this is so masterful. Like, we need someone to animate this and make a special immediately - I am DYING this is so funny.

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Dec 14, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

"His home is sleek and modern, a severe block of glass and steel cantilevered over a cliffside in a Norwegian fjord."

I'm currently imagining Rudolph on Grand Designs, with Kevin McCloud saying something like "No one is willing to say this to Rudolph because he's putting up all the money, but I will: what he wants is fundamentally impossible."

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author

This is exactly what I’m shooting for.

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Maybe because I’ve started watching the Sopranos, but all of the reindeer had New Jersey accents. Seemed to fit.

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Dec 13, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Absolutely fantastic! Every note and cut executed perfectly. I pictured it in my head in Claymation (kind of reminds me of some of the more ambitious stuff Robot Chicken would try like the Where are They Now? of the Thundercats or the Smurfs/Se7en parody but a million times better).

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I wanna say MadTV did a godfather-esque retelling, and that's immediately where I went with this.

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Rudolph: A Bojack Horseman Story

This is fantastic and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter where you only write fiction like this. In addition to the regular newsletter.

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This is so utterly remarkable. You also have proven the answer to the question as to whether the song was just Clement Moore fan fiction.

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Dec 13, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Holy shit, this is great. No witty comment from me today. Just awe.

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Dec 14, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

In light of all the other comments, I had to stop in and say this line in particular made me stop and appreciate a perfect line of prose. I don't know how intentionally it was placed, but it made the entire piece a work of art:

"He seems lost in thought for a moment, rubbing his antlers against a tree."

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founding
Dec 13, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Still thinking about how great this is. Re-read it multiple times, each time you pick up some new little detail

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Dec 21, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

This is the best Christmas story I've read in years!

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