29 Comments
Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Crypto is like euchre to me. No matter how many times someone explains to me how it works, they can't force me to understand or care.

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I have never related to a comment as hard as I relate to this

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Ok, so only 4 people can play and you only use the 9-A in the deck!

Each player is dealt 5 cards, leaving 4 unused cards of which the top one is flipped over and revealed to everyone by the dealer.

Then, each player takes a turn deciding if the suit of the card should be elected Trump. No, not the orange asshole, but the most valuable suit!

If no one elects that suit as Trump, the process is repeated and any player can elect one of the 3 remaining suits as Trump. Again, not the orange asshole.

Now, once Trump is selected, we can begin the game.

"Begin? Aren't we already 200 words in?"

Yes! That's the best part!

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I'm having traumatic flashback to freshman year at Cincinnati's Daniels Hall

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Lived in room 423 my first year at UC. Daniels probably averaged one fire alarm pull per week until finals, then 3x that week.

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720, and same. (Fortunately as an architecture student our busiest week was the week before finals.)

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I'm having the same flashback to the common room in Firestine Hall at Wittenberg.

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well there's an autorec I didn't expect to deploy today.

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basically stonks. you buy [thing] and hope that someone else values or continues to value [thing] as much or more than you do. otherwise, your [thing] ain't worth the paper it ain't printed on.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

NEXT WEEK: introducing CookbookCoin! Hollys are the most valuable, followed by Hot Loins, then various Bearcats and so on.

If you get an Olaf, you owe Scott money in perpetuity.

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Online sports betting just became legal in my state, but I would be more than willing to throw my money away on this instead.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Crypto is money, designed by Olaf.

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author

Update: Olaf has eaten the money

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

it's OK I right-clicked it before he ate it

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I right-clicked it first it's mine now sorry.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

No, it's just not currently liquid.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

No it'll be liquid in like 4 hours.

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cursed comment.

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founding
Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Crypto is when idling your 1998 Honda Civic produces solved sudokus you can trade for heroin.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

BRB, submitting this to the Financial Times as the finest economics editorial of the year.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

Ok but per the linked wiki article Yapese money stones basically invented the Blockchain. Large stone disks instead of carbon emissions should count as proof of work!!

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I ran a marathon last weekend and there was a guy carrying a cutout of one of those stupid apes. He was the only person I wanted to beat. Smoked his ass.

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Dec 8, 2021Liked by Scott Hines

I wanted to see if this was going full circle, landing on how the CFP selects teams to play in their playoff.

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Crypto

Fungible

Playoff

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Only thing that makes sense when you have 2 teams from the same conference make the playoffs. NFT, blockchain, SEC... does anyone really understand it all

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*McDonald's Drive-Thru, CASHIER struggling to get credit card to read*

ME: "Sorry about that, I can use another card. I wish banks would make these chips sturdier!"

CASHIER: "You know, I don't think banks are the future anyway..."

ME: *knows exactly where this is heading, screaming internally*

CASHIER: "Crypto is going to replace banks soon. Just you watch."

ME: *grabs my card back* "Totally. Ok bye! Thanks!"

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had this convo with my guanopsychotic in-laws on Turkey day.

Me: You just invested in baseball cards, essentially.

in-laws: the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure

Me: You realize if the world goes further into the handbasket, the real currency is going to be fuel, ammo, food, terlet paper (if 2020 is to be believed). When the hurricane kills power and cell service for days on end, your online transactions aren't gonna be worth poop.

i-l: mah NFTs!!!!

Me: [smothers pumpkin pie into earholes]

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Wanna buy a tulip?

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First rule of crypto:

Don’t worry about the bodies.

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