I enjoyed this round of food opinions, because my food chemistry professor QT’d it with, simply, “the world would be a better place without celery”- which is absolutely correct.
Other random ones from me: Old Bay does not go on chicken wings, scrapple is the superior breakfast meat, cake is largely worthless, fast food shouldn’t use lettuce or tomato because their produce is so bad it makes people think they don’t like lettuce and tomato, meatloaf should never be cooked in a loaf pan and leeks are superior to onions in every way.
Between iffy fast food tomatoes & living around tomato farms in Southern California (nothing like seeing an 18 wheeler with what looks like a gravel trailer only to find it’s full of tomatoes), my interest was limited. Then I went to Michigan with the missus in late August / early September and had late season fresh off the vine tomatoes from the Ann Arbor farmers market and that rocked my world (instant tomato snob)
I suppose this is where I admit that I generally don’t bother with lettuce because I think it’s an inefficient way of transporting water that rarely adds anything as a topping. I’ll eat salads at home to keep the peace because my wife at least adds in other leafy greens with some flavor, but aside from the benefits of the fiber I’d happily never eat a salad again either.
My dad, who grew up in Georgia/Florida and moved to New Jersey in the 70s to join a band, used to get into it all the time with his bandmate best friend who swore by scrapple. They'd go to the diner, Daddy would get grits and his buddy would get scrapple, and they'd crack on each other all night. I mean, I guess that kept them from fighting over Taylor ham or whatever?
It’s ambitious to try this by level of pretentiousness before 0800 Eastern but I’m going to try anyway: I quite enjoy beans on toast despite having spent most of my life in the US, but I don’t often eat them here, because the bread is wrong. There’s a certain kind of supermarket white bread - I think they just call it white loaf - that toasts up really well and goes with the beans. It’s not a universal thing for me - a cup of (proper) tea and a hobnob is the same either side of the Atlantic.
Also it’s quite difficult to make a decent lager or Pilsner and I applaud small breweries that can do it, because I really enjoy those especially in warm weather.
The thing I hate about food arguments outside my immediate circle of trusted friends is the thing I hate about a lot of political arguments: it's argument for sport, which is something I have NO tolerance for as I age. I'm exhausted of it for two reasons:
1) I cannot care. I am out of capacity to care. I want people to eat/listen to/etc. what makes them feel happy. Life is too damn short to carp about people's joy.
2) Arguing for sport about real issues tends to treat the dehumanization of marginalized people as a side effect at best. It's not surprising to me that Matt Gaetz is a high-school debate team kid. He's the platonic freaking ideal of THAT GUY on your debate team. And that's the genesis of the dynamic you describe, Scott - obsession with an orderly debate over whether or not my trans friend is a human being or not legitimizes that question as something that should be asked, rather than the question itself being a horrific thing to ask. And I don't know how to fix that.
Anyway. Let people eat what they like. Even if it's objectively weird.
Every once in a while I see people say putting orange juice on cereal is good. I'm not entirely convinced that is even real and not some weird prank started in the early days of the internet.
The one food opinion I will defend to the hilt is when eating a bagel that has been sliced and topped with whatever you choose, the top half must be consumed before the bottom half.
The ONLY time orange juice on cereal worked for me was a day when I was hungry as hell, broke as hell, and had exactly two food items in my home - plain Kellogs Corn Flakes and a small container of VERY expensive fresh-squeezed orange juice someone left after a party. (Don't ask.) It was passable, with a very small amount of orange juice to barely dampen the corn flakes. Otherwise, I could not imagine. The flavor clashes alone are horrifying.
Food fight! I love it! My strongest-held food opinion is that no food should ever, EVER be dipped in a liquid. Oreos in water is no worse (or no better) than doughnuts in coffee. Eat the food, then sip the drink, for heaven's sake. Soggy pastry? No thanks.
Had a friend back home like this, she literally winced every time I dunked my donut. I may have gone back for an extra donut too many because of that reaction.
I’d never really thought about it, but for anything sweet, I’m with you here. I do enjoy the occasional French dip sandwich otherwise it would have been unqualified agreement.
Ooh your French dip comment reminds me of a time I had the most lovely take on one. It was a Vietnamese restaurant where they extended the French dip idea to a Banh mi sandwich with pho as the dip. It was divine.
I drink about 1 milkshake or equivalent a decade, so the first example is a moot point. I wouldn’t add an Oreo to ice cream in the first place so it’s kind of a moot point.
I don't drink Coke at all (and I mean that in the southern sense, where "Coke" = all carbonated non-alcoholic beverages regardless of maker), but my husband does religiously. When he got diagnosed with diabetes in 2016 - one week after the election! it was a bad few days! - he had to switch to Coke Zero. He says it's as close as you can get, and that Diet Coke is an abomination before any deity you can choose.
Sort of need more on the dumpling/pizza classification. Is it the ingredients, cooking method, how does it work?
You want to see a take, ask a child their opinion on foods. Ketchup is too spicy but serrano pepper guacamole is the cat's meow. Water is too wet. The pasta selection for dinner was wrong, it should have been spirals instead of linguine.
My takes:
I think people who pay hundreds of dollars for bite size portion tasting menus need to be examined.
It should be acceptable to ask for seconds of a dish at a restaurant and be charged half price or even a third if you want thirds. If the soup is that good then dammit I want more.
I don't care how you eat or what you eat as long as you are happy.
Where does soup exist? Because ingredients cannot be on it, unless you include crackers/cheese, and the only way things can be in soup is if soup is in a dish and we start to have an existential discussion on at what point does soup become a dumpling. I would suggest adding a third category for soup as ingredients pass through it as there needs to be some liquid. And yes you can place your skyline chili in the soup category better than pizza.
My favorite one of these in a while. I think people have a naturally occurring amount of vitriol and it's important that we use that up on stupid stuff so we have our brains back to deal with important stuff.
"a plate of overcooked spaghetti slathered in sloppy spiced meat sauce and laden with a catcher’s mitt worth of un-melted shredded cheddar cheese" Please deliver this to [REDACTED] around 12:15 PM.
Man, this one hit me, Scott. You get me, you really do.
This line, man. "many of us have forgotten how to communicate with each other without reflexively defaulting to the most extreme version of what we’re trying to say, a tendency that often leave us screaming at people who we largely agree with on the substance of most issues." It's perfect.
Then you summed up my time on the HOA board with this line: "the other party is more concerned with following Robert’s Rules of Order than putting out the fires around their feet. " That one hit me right in the repressed memory.
In another place we recently began discussing music, and I approach it as I approach food. If someone says "this is great, try it!" If I have never tried it before, I will, and only then will I form my opinion. I've never dipped an oreo in water, but maybe this person is onto something. Cookie flavored water might be a market all them seltzers have missed.
I've tried rabbit, and it wasn't to my liking. Doesn't necessarily mean it's awful, I may have just gotten a poorly-prepared recipe. If someone else offers me a plate, praising its deliciousness, I'll give it a try again. Just so long as there's no onion in it.
I enjoyed this round of food opinions, because my food chemistry professor QT’d it with, simply, “the world would be a better place without celery”- which is absolutely correct.
Other random ones from me: Old Bay does not go on chicken wings, scrapple is the superior breakfast meat, cake is largely worthless, fast food shouldn’t use lettuce or tomato because their produce is so bad it makes people think they don’t like lettuce and tomato, meatloaf should never be cooked in a loaf pan and leeks are superior to onions in every way.
I agree with more of these than I disagree with, but I love celery. Also, shallots are the superior onion.
Now that I’m thinking of it, I use shallots when I wouldn’t use leeks, and vice versa. Maybe my take is that there’s only two true onions.
You’re on to something re: lettuce and tomatoes in fast food
I was convinced I hated tomatoes until I discovered that not all of them had the texture of erasers
The difference between a proper tomato, and whatever those things are, is VAST.
Between iffy fast food tomatoes & living around tomato farms in Southern California (nothing like seeing an 18 wheeler with what looks like a gravel trailer only to find it’s full of tomatoes), my interest was limited. Then I went to Michigan with the missus in late August / early September and had late season fresh off the vine tomatoes from the Ann Arbor farmers market and that rocked my world (instant tomato snob)
I grew up in NJ, so tomato snobbery is a birthright.
Growing up in central VA people act like Hanover tomatoes are the pinnacle of tomato development.
I suppose this is where I admit that I generally don’t bother with lettuce because I think it’s an inefficient way of transporting water that rarely adds anything as a topping. I’ll eat salads at home to keep the peace because my wife at least adds in other leafy greens with some flavor, but aside from the benefits of the fiber I’d happily never eat a salad again either.
I’m with you- for most things, I don’t know why anyone would use lettuce when arugula is *right there* and actually adds something to the proceedings.
My dad, who grew up in Georgia/Florida and moved to New Jersey in the 70s to join a band, used to get into it all the time with his bandmate best friend who swore by scrapple. They'd go to the diner, Daddy would get grits and his buddy would get scrapple, and they'd crack on each other all night. I mean, I guess that kept them from fighting over Taylor ham or whatever?
I am a zealot for the order of the Cube Rule of food classification.
https://cuberule.com/
Oh this is great, I like this
It’s ambitious to try this by level of pretentiousness before 0800 Eastern but I’m going to try anyway: I quite enjoy beans on toast despite having spent most of my life in the US, but I don’t often eat them here, because the bread is wrong. There’s a certain kind of supermarket white bread - I think they just call it white loaf - that toasts up really well and goes with the beans. It’s not a universal thing for me - a cup of (proper) tea and a hobnob is the same either side of the Atlantic.
Also it’s quite difficult to make a decent lager or Pilsner and I applaud small breweries that can do it, because I really enjoy those especially in warm weather.
The thing I hate about food arguments outside my immediate circle of trusted friends is the thing I hate about a lot of political arguments: it's argument for sport, which is something I have NO tolerance for as I age. I'm exhausted of it for two reasons:
1) I cannot care. I am out of capacity to care. I want people to eat/listen to/etc. what makes them feel happy. Life is too damn short to carp about people's joy.
2) Arguing for sport about real issues tends to treat the dehumanization of marginalized people as a side effect at best. It's not surprising to me that Matt Gaetz is a high-school debate team kid. He's the platonic freaking ideal of THAT GUY on your debate team. And that's the genesis of the dynamic you describe, Scott - obsession with an orderly debate over whether or not my trans friend is a human being or not legitimizes that question as something that should be asked, rather than the question itself being a horrific thing to ask. And I don't know how to fix that.
Anyway. Let people eat what they like. Even if it's objectively weird.
I’m absolutely going to steal the “sandwiches don’t exist” take the next time someone brings out the hotdog/sandwich question.
Every once in a while I see people say putting orange juice on cereal is good. I'm not entirely convinced that is even real and not some weird prank started in the early days of the internet.
The one food opinion I will defend to the hilt is when eating a bagel that has been sliced and topped with whatever you choose, the top half must be consumed before the bottom half.
The ONLY time orange juice on cereal worked for me was a day when I was hungry as hell, broke as hell, and had exactly two food items in my home - plain Kellogs Corn Flakes and a small container of VERY expensive fresh-squeezed orange juice someone left after a party. (Don't ask.) It was passable, with a very small amount of orange juice to barely dampen the corn flakes. Otherwise, I could not imagine. The flavor clashes alone are horrifying.
Might work with Fruit Loops since they are already fruit flavored.
As a lactose intolerant, I just eat my cereal dry. Consider me skeptical on the OJ.
Food fight! I love it! My strongest-held food opinion is that no food should ever, EVER be dipped in a liquid. Oreos in water is no worse (or no better) than doughnuts in coffee. Eat the food, then sip the drink, for heaven's sake. Soggy pastry? No thanks.
I love this opinion. I don't necessarily agree with it, but I respect the sheer strength and purity of it.
Side note: I would never enter a franchise called "Dunkin' Donuts, not even to use the john.
Had a friend back home like this, she literally winced every time I dunked my donut. I may have gone back for an extra donut too many because of that reaction.
Is she still your friend?
more a family friend, and I think everyone kinda drifted apart for non-dunking reasons.
I’d never really thought about it, but for anything sweet, I’m with you here. I do enjoy the occasional French dip sandwich otherwise it would have been unqualified agreement.
Ooh your French dip comment reminds me of a time I had the most lovely take on one. It was a Vietnamese restaurant where they extended the French dip idea to a Banh mi sandwich with pho as the dip. It was divine.
for you and Eleanor alike, curious as to your opinions of things like fries in a Frosty or an Oreo wedged in a scoop of ice cream.
I drink about 1 milkshake or equivalent a decade, so the first example is a moot point. I wouldn’t add an Oreo to ice cream in the first place so it’s kind of a moot point.
Lots of moot points is what I’m saying
since it involves dairy is it a herd of moo points?
I have no idea how curry is either a dumpling or pizza, also the quest to put food into 10b categories is over organizing, just accept that food is.
All food is good if it is prepared properly and good ingredients are used, although I should state the exception of spilly's early food experiments.
If someone doesn't like something, I'm okay with their being wrong.
Curry is a pizza sauce. There's a pizza franchise that specializes in it.
Using another food as an ingredient for one of your classifications doesn’t make it that category.
Diet Coke DOES taste better.
Candy corn is Satan's dingleberries, though.
Coke Zero. I'm just saying.
I don't drink Coke at all (and I mean that in the southern sense, where "Coke" = all carbonated non-alcoholic beverages regardless of maker), but my husband does religiously. When he got diagnosed with diabetes in 2016 - one week after the election! it was a bad few days! - he had to switch to Coke Zero. He says it's as close as you can get, and that Diet Coke is an abomination before any deity you can choose.
Diet Dr. Pepper is the best diet soda. All if the "spices" hide the artificial sweetener aftertaste the best.
Diet pop tastes like feet.
But in a good way.
setting up the "don't kink shame" defense I see
Yeah, I can't do anything with Aspartame. I drink so little (few?) soda that I get the heavy every time I indulge.
food terrrorism (candy corn) returns to acb ... guess it could be worse.
I'm going to make a candy corn cocktail this fall.
I wish to subscribe to this newslet.....wait a minute, nevermind.
Ew.
Visual or taste similarity as the goal?
I’ve got a few months to figure it out.
Layered in a martini glass (or similarly triangular shape) so it looks just like a piece of candy corn.
I'm thinking about this, and everything that is coming to mind is cloyingly sweet.
I'm sure Scott has some type of random, obscure bitters to counteract any sweetness.
Yes.
I used to dip my pizza crust in soda when I was little. Also, chocolate chip cookies in fruit punch.
I love arguing about food on the internet because it's a great way of finding out truly bizarre yet wonderful food combos.
[Scrolls through comments, scrolls through comments]
And I said, what about, Breakfast At Tiffany's?
(Someone had to)
When I'm still singing "yooooou SAAAAAAY we have nothing in common" at my meeting tonight I know who to blame.
I *almost* embedded the video in the post
Sort of need more on the dumpling/pizza classification. Is it the ingredients, cooking method, how does it work?
You want to see a take, ask a child their opinion on foods. Ketchup is too spicy but serrano pepper guacamole is the cat's meow. Water is too wet. The pasta selection for dinner was wrong, it should have been spirals instead of linguine.
My takes:
I think people who pay hundreds of dollars for bite size portion tasting menus need to be examined.
It should be acceptable to ask for seconds of a dish at a restaurant and be charged half price or even a third if you want thirds. If the soup is that good then dammit I want more.
I don't care how you eat or what you eat as long as you are happy.
Dumpling/pizza: it’s either a thing with stuff in it or a thing with stuff on it. I have not thought this through at all but I will defend it.
Where does soup exist? Because ingredients cannot be on it, unless you include crackers/cheese, and the only way things can be in soup is if soup is in a dish and we start to have an existential discussion on at what point does soup become a dumpling. I would suggest adding a third category for soup as ingredients pass through it as there needs to be some liquid. And yes you can place your skyline chili in the soup category better than pizza.
Obviously, soup is its own category of "perfect" https://youtu.be/y1dGNbtHdV8
My favorite one of these in a while. I think people have a naturally occurring amount of vitriol and it's important that we use that up on stupid stuff so we have our brains back to deal with important stuff.
"a plate of overcooked spaghetti slathered in sloppy spiced meat sauce and laden with a catcher’s mitt worth of un-melted shredded cheddar cheese" Please deliver this to [REDACTED] around 12:15 PM.
Man, this one hit me, Scott. You get me, you really do.
This line, man. "many of us have forgotten how to communicate with each other without reflexively defaulting to the most extreme version of what we’re trying to say, a tendency that often leave us screaming at people who we largely agree with on the substance of most issues." It's perfect.
Then you summed up my time on the HOA board with this line: "the other party is more concerned with following Robert’s Rules of Order than putting out the fires around their feet. " That one hit me right in the repressed memory.
In another place we recently began discussing music, and I approach it as I approach food. If someone says "this is great, try it!" If I have never tried it before, I will, and only then will I form my opinion. I've never dipped an oreo in water, but maybe this person is onto something. Cookie flavored water might be a market all them seltzers have missed.
I've tried rabbit, and it wasn't to my liking. Doesn't necessarily mean it's awful, I may have just gotten a poorly-prepared recipe. If someone else offers me a plate, praising its deliciousness, I'll give it a try again. Just so long as there's no onion in it.
Given the fact that @iamspilly is still on the Twitters is proof that nobody can be canceled for a food take (or monstrous creation).
Also, pop-tarts are raviolis.
breakfast calzones. Get it right.
And they should also be dunked in coffee.
Respectfully, a calzone would imply that it is a single sheet of dough folded over. A pop tart is two separate dough slices pressed together.
But they should absolutely be dunked in coffee.
two slabs of dough pressed together with filling between? sounds like pops-tart are sammiches.
They are dumplings.