And it's judgment day for these decorative gourds
Gourd bless us, every one.
[my inbox, October 2027]: ACTION COOKBOOK: DISPATCHES FROM THE PUMPKIN/SQUIRREL WAR FRONTLINES
NORMAN SCHWARZSQUASH: we have always been at war with the squirrels
STONEWALL JACKS’O’LANTERN: this will be our finest victory
BENEDICT GOURDNALD: [clearly full of squirrels]
Norman Schwarzsquash is so good I'm furious I didn't think of it.
But you did, you just haven’t yet.
GEORGE SQUASHINGTON: i may have kicked off a war with the french my bad
"BENEDICT GOURDNALD: [clearly full of squirrels]"
10/10 no notes I love this so much
“Gourdon Lightfoot”
Goddamnit, Cookbook
Fucking squirrels get us all in the end.
the trebuchet is the superior siege engine!
The spiritual successor to It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.
Stick taps for Gourdie Howe.
And I’m so glad I was not sipping coffee at the final lines.
I got to 'Viny Tim' and involuntarily blurted out "what the fuck is *wrong* with you?". This is why I LIKE you.
might need to make this a blurb for the newsletter
Hahaha, go for it. (full disclosure: (1) I'm constantly getting that reaction for my own puns; (2) I'm still laughing about the whole post.)
When you tap the email icon on your phone, open up Scott’s latest, and it begins with “THE GUORDFATHER”… friends, that’s how you start a Monday 🤣
This is the content I crave.
As soon as I read the "SCENE" I was wondering when you had time to drive from Kentucky to throw a tracker onto my car.
When The Action Cookbook Newsletter starts with SCENE you buckle up b/c you're going places.
Well this was delightful. You had me at "The Gourdfather", and let me tell you, I reacted to "Viny Tim" like Lucille Bluth recognizing Gene Parmesan
Exactly the level of stupid/smart I need this morning happy week Scott!
What, no judgment for Gourdon Sumner?
I'm sending out an SOS.
he's playing their b-side No Vine This Time
smash our squash?
(I'm very behind on my substack reading) Currently sitting at my desk giggling and hoping my co-workers can't hear me. I want to go buy a viny tim now.
Gourd bless us, every one.
[my inbox, October 2027]: ACTION COOKBOOK: DISPATCHES FROM THE PUMPKIN/SQUIRREL WAR FRONTLINES
NORMAN SCHWARZSQUASH: we have always been at war with the squirrels
STONEWALL JACKS’O’LANTERN: this will be our finest victory
BENEDICT GOURDNALD: [clearly full of squirrels]
Norman Schwarzsquash is so good I'm furious I didn't think of it.
But you did, you just haven’t yet.
GEORGE SQUASHINGTON: i may have kicked off a war with the french my bad
"BENEDICT GOURDNALD: [clearly full of squirrels]"
10/10 no notes I love this so much
“Gourdon Lightfoot”
Goddamnit, Cookbook
Fucking squirrels get us all in the end.
the trebuchet is the superior siege engine!
The spiritual successor to It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers.
Stick taps for Gourdie Howe.
And I’m so glad I was not sipping coffee at the final lines.
I got to 'Viny Tim' and involuntarily blurted out "what the fuck is *wrong* with you?". This is why I LIKE you.
might need to make this a blurb for the newsletter
Hahaha, go for it. (full disclosure: (1) I'm constantly getting that reaction for my own puns; (2) I'm still laughing about the whole post.)
When you tap the email icon on your phone, open up Scott’s latest, and it begins with “THE GUORDFATHER”… friends, that’s how you start a Monday 🤣
This is the content I crave.
As soon as I read the "SCENE" I was wondering when you had time to drive from Kentucky to throw a tracker onto my car.
When The Action Cookbook Newsletter starts with SCENE you buckle up b/c you're going places.
Well this was delightful. You had me at "The Gourdfather", and let me tell you, I reacted to "Viny Tim" like Lucille Bluth recognizing Gene Parmesan
Exactly the level of stupid/smart I need this morning happy week Scott!
What, no judgment for Gourdon Sumner?
I'm sending out an SOS.
he's playing their b-side No Vine This Time
smash our squash?
(I'm very behind on my substack reading) Currently sitting at my desk giggling and hoping my co-workers can't hear me. I want to go buy a viny tim now.