> “You have to eat a real meal. You can’t survive on just snacks.”
A couple two tree years ago, I was in Chicago for my ex's wedding reception and screwed up some timings and I ended up unable to find any actual real quick food. I ended up eating, as my entire dinner, a package of chocolate-coated nuts from 7-Eleven. I then proceeded to get rip-roaringly drunk, as one does.
I used an entire decade of get-out-of-hangover-free cards on that "real meal". Believe in miracles.
"Don't sweat the petty stuff, don't pet the sweaty stuff" -graphic designer at work had this sign posted and I always laughed at it. What no one tells you is that it tends towards being petty.
The advice I avoid the moment is lift heavy things (besides self) and move ... both of which are important as you approach geezer status. Now please remove yourself from my lawn.
I am trying to remember how to read an actual goddamn book, instead of half reading on my phone. My phone/kindle habit started out as a great way to kill time while waiting for court proceedings, but I don't read anything well this way.
The other day I left my phone inside, and read No Country for Old Men by the pool in one sitting, and it was so great to lose myself in language again. More of that, please.
This. I consume more books by listening to them (and it's nice when I'm commuting or doing some kind of rote work), but it's so much better to just *read* a book.
I find that my reading speed is not quick, and I'm more easily distracted with e-books than if I have the physical book where turning the pages is required.
As for audio books, I like them but never in a place where enough time to get through a book in less than a year (yea! short commute!).
I usually make that part of my bedtime routine to help me unwind: plug in the phone and set it facedown on the nightstand, and just focus on reading for anywhere from 5-30ish minutes depending on how tired I am/how late it is
Some years ago, I moved my phone charger to my office. The alarm is still loud enough to wake me up from there. I only ever suffered low-grade screenbrain, but this goes a long way toward solving the problem.
My issue is that I can't read anymore without my glasses, so in order to read bedside I need the Giant Font in the kindle app. But yes, going to try to unplug.
I always tell myself I should practice better portion control with sweets, but when I open the pantry and see that bag of Reese’s staring at me I lose that battle nine times out of ten.
Jul 12, 2023·edited Jul 12, 2023Liked by Scott Hines
Every single one of these, including the comments, has been right on point. And I'm here to tell that when your kids reach their late twenties, they'll call you on your bullshit when you give them that good advice that you don't follow yourself. I don't think it has improved my behavior, but it has limited my propensity to offer unsolicited advice.
One of my favorite conversations with my parents happened about three weeks before my 21st birthday- they decided I made it that far and seemed to Turn Out Okay, so then I got to hear The Stories.
This reminds me of when I started college and only then heard the legendary story about the Old Bobcat (my father) trick or treating his freshman dorm with a shot glass on Halloween.
“...and I turned out just fine!” is almost always used to defend something that absolutely shouldn’t have happened, let alone still be happening, but to get rid of it would be change and that’s scary get off my lawn while I drink my ovaltine
Especially when I see people use it in the context of "my parents hit me, and I turned out just fine" and it's like no you didn't you're arguing in favor of hitting kids
I think it was Danny Kannell (of course) who posted something about "I've never heard anyone say a bad word about Pat Fitzgerald" and it's like yes you have you just heard a player allege 15+ years of bad stuff and a dozen others corroborate it are you not listening
Hahaha I was thinking about that when I was working on this. I am an adventurous eater who likes to try new things! But if I've already been there and really like something? Well, it's that forever.
One that I constantly struggle with is "You have no control over other people's reactions." Everyone's feelings and emotions are their own and while you should always try your best to be mindful and respectful - sometimes shit can just hit the fan. Oh, and the don't swear so much too, I guess.
If we’re allowed to get all sentimental about this, I think it’s rooted in the idea that we want to shield our kids from the hardships we experience. It’s like, “I *know* my mental health would be better if I didn’t feel the compulsive need to check my phone during this five second walk down the hall, but it’s a bad habit I can’t break! I won’t let me kids fall into this same trap.” Same for all the lessons we’ve learned the hard way: we know what it cost us so if we can just manage to get through to them, we think we can protect them from the same mistakes and the pain that comes from them.
The hard part, for me, is realizing that no matter what I do, there are going to be things I cannot protect them from, and things that they will not understand until they experience them. And in those cases, my job isn’t to shield them, but to make sure they’re equipped to deal with it when it happens.
A couple decades ago I had a very smart and wise-for-his-years young man working for me. One day, as we were dealing with our frustrations with certain people on a project we were leading, he said, "Nothing is real until it's experienced." I can't tell you how many times I've said that to myself since. Mostly to try to stop myself (not always successfully) from offering unsolicited advice.
The vinyl comment was a personal attack and I am treating it as such.
I'm a big "just do the thing" guy but then when it comes to doing my own stuff like job applications or sending out pitches I immediately lose interest and willpower
My grandma had the best advice on that, and she actually lived it. "What can you get done in the next fifteen minutes that will make the job feel smaller?" So you do that. Then you figure out the fifteen minutes after that, and keep going from there.
So the next time I come to town I need to help push her towards pop star and away from veterinarian. One of those two has a much better mental health outcome.
The screens are the thing I’m worried about the most. We’re trying (see: failing) to wane our own screen time down as we’ve seen kids of our friends who are completely inseparable from them, to very detrimental ends. I’m really happy we grew up in the before times.
Judging by the way I instinctually slam the “ignore limit for today” button nearly every day when my iPhone tells me I’ve reached the hour of Twitter I allotted to myself a year ago in a moment of “I’m going to make a change!” naïveté? No.
Surely someone smarter than me has written something on the desire to possess physical media objects as everything else fades into the ether of streaming services and internet link rot. But mostly I just feel like "well it's supporting the band"
One of the things I’m excited about becoming a first time parent soon: coming up with my own bullshit sayings that my child will remember well into adulthood. My favorite from my mother is “think with your head not your ass” (imagine a russian woman yelling that at a 7 year old while chasing you with a shoe)
I often reply to "I'm bored" with "if you're bored, then you're boring", never acknowledging that it's a direct quote from the 1997 Harvey Danger song "Flagpole Sitta"
> “You have to eat a real meal. You can’t survive on just snacks.”
A couple two tree years ago, I was in Chicago for my ex's wedding reception and screwed up some timings and I ended up unable to find any actual real quick food. I ended up eating, as my entire dinner, a package of chocolate-coated nuts from 7-Eleven. I then proceeded to get rip-roaringly drunk, as one does.
I used an entire decade of get-out-of-hangover-free cards on that "real meal". Believe in miracles.
"Don't sweat the petty stuff, don't pet the sweaty stuff" -graphic designer at work had this sign posted and I always laughed at it. What no one tells you is that it tends towards being petty.
The advice I avoid the moment is lift heavy things (besides self) and move ... both of which are important as you approach geezer status. Now please remove yourself from my lawn.
I am trying to remember how to read an actual goddamn book, instead of half reading on my phone. My phone/kindle habit started out as a great way to kill time while waiting for court proceedings, but I don't read anything well this way.
The other day I left my phone inside, and read No Country for Old Men by the pool in one sitting, and it was so great to lose myself in language again. More of that, please.
This. I consume more books by listening to them (and it's nice when I'm commuting or doing some kind of rote work), but it's so much better to just *read* a book.
I find that my reading speed is not quick, and I'm more easily distracted with e-books than if I have the physical book where turning the pages is required.
As for audio books, I like them but never in a place where enough time to get through a book in less than a year (yea! short commute!).
I usually make that part of my bedtime routine to help me unwind: plug in the phone and set it facedown on the nightstand, and just focus on reading for anywhere from 5-30ish minutes depending on how tired I am/how late it is
Some years ago, I moved my phone charger to my office. The alarm is still loud enough to wake me up from there. I only ever suffered low-grade screenbrain, but this goes a long way toward solving the problem.
My issue is that I can't read anymore without my glasses, so in order to read bedside I need the Giant Font in the kindle app. But yes, going to try to unplug.
I always tell myself I should practice better portion control with sweets, but when I open the pantry and see that bag of Reese’s staring at me I lose that battle nine times out of ten.
"No we're not having dessert tonight sweetie, we have ice cream last night"
***proceeds to punish the oreos while doing the dishes after the kids are asleep***
Every single one of these, including the comments, has been right on point. And I'm here to tell that when your kids reach their late twenties, they'll call you on your bullshit when you give them that good advice that you don't follow yourself. I don't think it has improved my behavior, but it has limited my propensity to offer unsolicited advice.
One of my favorite conversations with my parents happened about three weeks before my 21st birthday- they decided I made it that far and seemed to Turn Out Okay, so then I got to hear The Stories.
This reminds me of when I started college and only then heard the legendary story about the Old Bobcat (my father) trick or treating his freshman dorm with a shot glass on Halloween.
mad I never made it to Athens for Halloween in my younger, stupider days
“...and I turned out just fine!” is almost always used to defend something that absolutely shouldn’t have happened, let alone still be happening, but to get rid of it would be change and that’s scary get off my lawn while I drink my ovaltine
Especially when I see people use it in the context of "my parents hit me, and I turned out just fine" and it's like no you didn't you're arguing in favor of hitting kids
Been popping up this week with the Fitzgerald stuff too- so you’re saying that hazing is...good?
I think it was Danny Kannell (of course) who posted something about "I've never heard anyone say a bad word about Pat Fitzgerald" and it's like yes you have you just heard a player allege 15+ years of bad stuff and a dozen others corroborate it are you not listening
Can I be in favor of hitting Danny Kanell?
Might be able to erase the national debt if we offer that as the prize in a lottery.
Goddamnit. Did someone forget to water Danny this week?
‘Don’t be afraid to try something new’ as I order the same thing at the same restaurant every time I go out
Hahaha I was thinking about that when I was working on this. I am an adventurous eater who likes to try new things! But if I've already been there and really like something? Well, it's that forever.
One that I constantly struggle with is "You have no control over other people's reactions." Everyone's feelings and emotions are their own and while you should always try your best to be mindful and respectful - sometimes shit can just hit the fan. Oh, and the don't swear so much too, I guess.
If we’re allowed to get all sentimental about this, I think it’s rooted in the idea that we want to shield our kids from the hardships we experience. It’s like, “I *know* my mental health would be better if I didn’t feel the compulsive need to check my phone during this five second walk down the hall, but it’s a bad habit I can’t break! I won’t let me kids fall into this same trap.” Same for all the lessons we’ve learned the hard way: we know what it cost us so if we can just manage to get through to them, we think we can protect them from the same mistakes and the pain that comes from them.
The hard part, for me, is realizing that no matter what I do, there are going to be things I cannot protect them from, and things that they will not understand until they experience them. And in those cases, my job isn’t to shield them, but to make sure they’re equipped to deal with it when it happens.
I love this perspective on it.
A couple decades ago I had a very smart and wise-for-his-years young man working for me. One day, as we were dealing with our frustrations with certain people on a project we were leading, he said, "Nothing is real until it's experienced." I can't tell you how many times I've said that to myself since. Mostly to try to stop myself (not always successfully) from offering unsolicited advice.
The vinyl comment was a personal attack and I am treating it as such.
I'm a big "just do the thing" guy but then when it comes to doing my own stuff like job applications or sending out pitches I immediately lose interest and willpower
My grandma had the best advice on that, and she actually lived it. "What can you get done in the next fifteen minutes that will make the job feel smaller?" So you do that. Then you figure out the fifteen minutes after that, and keep going from there.
My dad always suggested "get up and sharpen your pencil," because once you've gotten started, the momentum will help carry you.
So the next time I come to town I need to help push her towards pop star and away from veterinarian. One of those two has a much better mental health outcome.
You just need to have the confidence that you can be a pop star too. I believe in you.
The screens are the thing I’m worried about the most. We’re trying (see: failing) to wane our own screen time down as we’ve seen kids of our friends who are completely inseparable from them, to very detrimental ends. I’m really happy we grew up in the before times.
Setting time limits on the devices is a huge benefit. "I'm out of iPad* time!" "Well, nothing I can do about that, you're out of time."
*they're actually Amazon Fire Kids tablets, but they call them iPads
Do...do you think the same trick will work on an adult? Definitely not asking about my own wife, ha ha, no sir
Judging by the way I instinctually slam the “ignore limit for today” button nearly every day when my iPhone tells me I’ve reached the hour of Twitter I allotted to myself a year ago in a moment of “I’m going to make a change!” naïveté? No.
On the Merits of Being Bored For A Few Minutes Several Times Per Day, my column:
you'll be on the bus another five, ten minutes tops
it's fine
you'll be fine
look out the damn window or something
Ohhh this is a good one. I had this conversation with my daughter a couple days ago.
"What can I do?"
"We're leaving in five minutes."
"But what can I do until then?"
"I don't know, it's five minutes."
"BUT I'M BORED"
Meanwhile, if an elevator takes 30 seconds to arrive I'm on my phone
I may or may not show up to all of my meetings five minutes early just so I can practice this myself.
Five minutes is exactly enough time to play one extremely trashy bullet chess game!
"adamantium" This is what I love about your writing. Almost every newsletter has me looking up a word, leading to a new rabbit hole to explore!
I feel especially seen with the limited release vinyl line. Sooooo many records just collecting dust...
Surely someone smarter than me has written something on the desire to possess physical media objects as everything else fades into the ether of streaming services and internet link rot. But mostly I just feel like "well it's supporting the band"
This is me but with the Criterion Collection blu rays, some of which remain shrink-wrapped
While not physical media, we will still not be discussing how many games in my Steam library have zero hours of play time.
"their bodies are made of cartilage, rubber bands and adamantium."
This is why I am here.
One of the things I’m excited about becoming a first time parent soon: coming up with my own bullshit sayings that my child will remember well into adulthood. My favorite from my mother is “think with your head not your ass” (imagine a russian woman yelling that at a 7 year old while chasing you with a shoe)
I often reply to "I'm bored" with "if you're bored, then you're boring", never acknowledging that it's a direct quote from the 1997 Harvey Danger song "Flagpole Sitta"