"We temporarily rebrand, slap an anthropomorphic version of that niche foodstuff on a hat, and a small but significant subset of people will pay forty bucks for it without even thinking twice. We sell as much merch as we can until interest tails off, then ditch the name and start the cycle fresh. It’s not always food, either. It can be things of specific regional interest, or short-lived memes."
I thought we were friends, and you do me like THIS? Damn, that's cold.
[Also, I'm hoping the dad group chat makes some jokes about the "Subprime Mortgage Field" and etc. with the ChiSox]
Gotta say...I can easily see this being adapted into a great screenplay. You should get right on that (in between your full-time job, taking care of your kids, maintaining a consistent output for this newsletter, and writing your book).
I loved your interpretation of the minor league teams. Down here in Texas we've had the Flying Chanclas (normally The Missons) and the Chupacabras (normally The Express) with mascots made to look like anthropomorphic jalapenos and tacos. We actually have an event where kids get to chase "Henry" the puffy taco around the bases between innings.
Trying to explain what a mett is was brilliant. Also I make sure to get some hot metts from the various butcher shops at Findlay Market every time I'm in Cincy and those two things might be a coincidence.
The Sox, really. If you said the Pirates, there would be no suspension of belief needed. Because signing a 40 something no name all-star would be right in their wheelhouse, like when they signed to cricket players because of course cricket is like baseball. But the story would get predictable as by mid-season the Yankees would call and Garrett would get a bazillion dollars and the Pirates pocket lint and a couple development players. No not a bitter Pirates fan here at all.
MiLB is what baseball needs with its quirkiness and that is why MLB will strangle it, because though shall no fun playing professional baseball as it is written in the unwritten rules.
I'm not sure the White Sox are really a step up from independent minor league ball
The text thread with the friends has been laugh out loud funny every time you've done this. Danny is a gem
Calmly pondering throwing a completely cold-armed half-drunk legitimate-ball "first pitch" in a Northwestern tailgate lot.
Anyway, let's be frank, wouldn't you rather play for the Mettwursts than the New York Mets?
"We temporarily rebrand, slap an anthropomorphic version of that niche foodstuff on a hat, and a small but significant subset of people will pay forty bucks for it without even thinking twice. We sell as much merch as we can until interest tails off, then ditch the name and start the cycle fresh. It’s not always food, either. It can be things of specific regional interest, or short-lived memes."
I thought we were friends, and you do me like THIS? Damn, that's cold.
[Also, I'm hoping the dad group chat makes some jokes about the "Subprime Mortgage Field" and etc. with the ChiSox]
Gotta say...I can easily see this being adapted into a great screenplay. You should get right on that (in between your full-time job, taking care of your kids, maintaining a consistent output for this newsletter, and writing your book).
it is a good coat
Shout out to the Lebanon Bolognas. I see what you did there
NGL, I am having such fun reading this story, I want a vanity print of it so I can put it on the bookcase. Autographed, natch.
I loved your interpretation of the minor league teams. Down here in Texas we've had the Flying Chanclas (normally The Missons) and the Chupacabras (normally The Express) with mascots made to look like anthropomorphic jalapenos and tacos. We actually have an event where kids get to chase "Henry" the puffy taco around the bases between innings.
I love MiLB and hope it never changes.
Trying to explain what a mett is was brilliant. Also I make sure to get some hot metts from the various butcher shops at Findlay Market every time I'm in Cincy and those two things might be a coincidence.
I immediately googled to see if that was a real kind of sausage.
The Sox, really. If you said the Pirates, there would be no suspension of belief needed. Because signing a 40 something no name all-star would be right in their wheelhouse, like when they signed to cricket players because of course cricket is like baseball. But the story would get predictable as by mid-season the Yankees would call and Garrett would get a bazillion dollars and the Pirates pocket lint and a couple development players. No not a bitter Pirates fan here at all.
MiLB is what baseball needs with its quirkiness and that is why MLB will strangle it, because though shall no fun playing professional baseball as it is written in the unwritten rules.
As a White Sox fan, I can only assume that this will end badly.