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I haven't finished reading yet, but I wanted to share my mild disappointment on you missing the "Captain Sandwich, it’s a gyro / gonna bring my hunger down to zero" pun opportunity. Get it together, Scott!

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It was still a pun, though! A hero is a sandwich!

Also if I mastered making gyros at home I'd probably die from eating too many gyros.

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I had the hero/gyro thought going too. Because there are two verses to the Captain Planet theme song(actual verses, not the chanting stuff)

"Captain Sandwich, it's a hero,

gonna bring my hunger down to zero.

Cookbook-style, clarified

Taking us on a sandwich ride.

...

Captain Sandwich, as a gyro,

gonna bring my hunger down to zero.

Gonna top it, with tzatziki,

Bringing us to sandwich apogee."

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Science says, you need to prove your hypothesis.

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Us Clevelanders are always thinking about [Mr.] Hero.

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Is a gyro a sandwich, or a wrap? Is a wrap a sandwich?

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A gyro can't be a wrap, wraps have to be fully enclosed. It's clearly a taco.

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