48 Comments
Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

I give out espressos and Red Bulls. "Ride the lightning, little dude."

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One year Jones soda came out with Halloween flavors. They had mini cans in Target so I bought a crapload, put them in a cooler on my porch, and gave them out on Halloween. The kids were absolutely thrilled. The parents, not so much. Not my problem.

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just handing out room temp monster energy drinks like an unhinged weirdo lol

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

Brilliant! Expanding on your collectible cards: We have baskets and bins and junk drawers full of stuff. Perfect handouts! A teaspoon for you. Some keys for you. Yarn for your pal. Here are three felt pens that may work. Paper clips. A glove. Shoelaces that don't match. A padlock (no key). Four screws in a plastic bag. Bonanza! The kids will be thrilled.

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Giving away a stapler in Grumpy Old Men was a classic.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

Chick tracts

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author

in this case, the chick comes before the egg

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There legit was a house in my neighborhood growing up that slid their church’s pamphlets into the bag. They were more of a generic “Jesus loves you” thing though; actual Chick tracts would’ve been way scarier.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

15) Ominous Revelations

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“Would you kids like some candy, or the horrible truth? Take one.”

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the horrible truth contains potassium benzoate.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

I did the potato thing last year. I gave one kid in the group to chose from the candy pile on the table or pick what was under the mystery dome. The dome contained a fingerling potato and a bag of Swedish Fish.

I plan on doing it again this year but I’ll upgrade to a full size candy bar.

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We are a full bar house. My wife loves Halloween, we don't have any children for parental retribution purposes, and our neighborhood is just bougie enough and just close enough to the border of not-bougie that we have a lot of cross-neighborhood Trick-or-Treaters whose day we can make.

I will usually also have a couple of beers socked away behind me for parents that look like they could particularly use one.

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I am absolutely going to be a full bar house when the kids outgrow me going with them. Until then, we're a "Take One" bowl house, and I absolutely do not care if you take more than one, I only want that bowl empty when I get home.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

Space Program & Scott, I need some advice. My wife and I also don't have kids, we are on the edge of THE HALLOWEEN NEIGHBORHOOD, but, and here's the catch--we're at the top of a big ol' dang hill. The HALLOWEEN NEIGHBORHOOD is at the bottom and out from there.

So here's my problem: I was SO EXCITED to have trick or treaters when we bought this house, but every year we get 5 or 6 kids that live on our block (and have to pass it to walk down the hill) and no others. So I don't want to commit to full bars if I'm going to have 50 full-size snickers to eat this holiday season, but how do we feel about signs starting at the bottom of the hill PROMISING full bars at the top? Like South of the Border billboards, but for luring children?

Is that smart, concerning, or probably a little of both?

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My “full size candy bars this way, not a trap” sign is raising a lot of questions already answered by the sign

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To answer your question those it’s probably a little of both but smart enough to try? I bet you’d get older trick or treaters on average, but they’d love you for it

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The hope is that I would only need the signs ONE year, and then the legend would be born. But that first time...maybe I should just give bars and let rumors abound of "the yellow house at the top of the hill", like some sort of Goosebumps tale.

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Oh I think you’re right here. There was a full bar house in our neighborhood that changed hands several years ago but the kids still refer to it by the legend of its previous owners. I think it should’ve been carried on through a deed restriction or lien, tbh

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Can you sit at a table at the bottom of the hill? Maybe set up a little "tailgate" for yourselves and leave a note on your front door that you're at the table.

Hang a little sign from your table with your address or something?

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Thought about this, or just get out amongst the people and hand out candy as you walk around. Spread the word that your house is the one up the hill (with the adults, obvi), and either you've started a new tradition as the Grubhub of Halloween or people now know to come visit your place.

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My parents are in the heart of a Halloween neighborhood. There's a costume parade with a drum line to kick things off and it drops them off right at their house. A hundred kids at 6:15 sharp.

Ever since covid we have been launching full size snickers down a hot wheels ramp at them

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we set up a table outside (saves us from answering the door) and have wine, beer, and whiskey in the cooler. does that make us a full bar house?

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I totally read the comment at first too like "ooh, mixed cocktails?" before remembering what "full bar" means in terms of halloween. I think it counts for sure.

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Wait I’ve never used the “parental retribution” phrase before but it totally fits, thank you

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We are in a small neighborhood with few kids and always have nearly the full bowl of candy left over, so opted to become the full bar house this year.

Just wondering if one kid discovers the secret, how long before it spreads and we get a ton of kids visiting from other neighborhoods. If it drives the HOA crazy, I am ALL FOR IT.

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I've been giving out assorted chips for years and the kids love it. I put them in a big bin outside and let them pick which one they want. I also keep some candy in a bucket for people who don't like chips(?) but that never goes as fast the chips.

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The chips are a legitimately good addition, especially since I feel like the variety of candy itself has gone down.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

does mcdonald's still do the soft-serve cone, fries, or cheeseburger coupon books for halloween? those whipped.

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YAIS

Although if my kids got one, it would be that wincing through the teeth sound..."Uh, sorry kid, I'd rather you eat candy than McDonalds."

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

New to the neighborhood with a corner house, no idea what Im going to get for Halloween so Im either going to run out of the 5 huge bags of candy in an hour OR I'll be putting it in the garbage at Easter...

We do the Switch Witch at my house because my daughter has a peanut allergy, so all the peanut candy and processed in peanut facility (which is a huge amount of chocolate candies) goes into a bag and my daughter gets a gift for it. Yeah, I get my fill of Reese's that are eaten similar to how you'd eat an ortolan.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

The only thing I don't like about the location of our house - corner of a major street through town, next door to a business - is that I don't get trick or treaters very often. When we were little, before people thought about food allergies much, a house in my neighborhood gave out fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies in a constant cycle right out of the oven. It was HEAVEN.

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If you're in the north and there's a chill in the air....sweet mercy I would just camp out in front of that house.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

My dad ran out of candy one year and gave out packs of Captain's Wafers.

We got egged.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

Halloween last year I had full size candy bars. Last Nov 1st I still had all of the candy bars I purchased. I will buy 1 box of them this year, then have them at work; although it may be cheaper to just get dollar coins.

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

Big fan of the glowstick/toy/trinket giveaway. My daughter still plays with a little stretch doll she got last year

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Oct 25, 2023Liked by Scott Hines

If anyone says popcorn balls it’s on sight. Chips absolutely popcorn balls the kids deserve to egg your house(just as a trick of course)

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bring back homemade treats imo.

it's exciting! and probably not as dangerous as the news would have you believe?

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homemade chocolates, cookies, a ladle of loose soup...the possibilities are endless!

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[clears throat loudly] https://www.skylinechili.com/2022/03/17/skyline-chili-rolls

(on Instagram they made these in skull-shaped muffin pans for Halloween)

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btw, if anyone’s in search of a BlueSky code:

bsky-social-77qwx-2oif6

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I have like 5 if anyone needs one

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Last year adults in our neighborhood got:

- Jell-O shots

- margaritas

- homemade chili

We don’t even have kids but we do a lap anyway 😅

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