On the subject of gift guides: I saw a list of "gifts for dads" on a site which rhymes with the Dirge dot com and if I was the father of any the people who put it together, I would be wondering if I had failed them so much that they had written the most generic, "who even knows what dads want" guide ever because I had remained a mystery to them, or if they were just lazy sociopaths who'd never paused to wonder about the old guy paying the mortgage.
There's a certain wistfulness that comes with a picture of a toy that was picked for being so obviously old and ridiculous that no contemporary child would play with it, and that toy being one you had yourself. Not the chromed version obviously, we weren't _that_ fancy in the 1970s.
After reading the first two paragraphs, I had the classic It’s Always Sunny line stuck in my head: “that doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about science to dispute it.”
Nov 27, 2023·edited Nov 27, 2023Liked by Scott Hines
Little-known fact: Cyber's second in that infamous duel with Van Dyck was none other than Norwood Teague. (Teague later ran off with Constance before Van Dyck could challenge him to another round.)
Don't forget your cousin's spouse who you see only at Christmas and the occasional family weddings... whisk(e)y stones
I don't know how to describe it, but this genre of acbn newsletters are my favorite thing you do
Thank you! I'm not sure how to describe it either, but they're my favorite to write, too. Haunted clickbait?
“We were somewhere around #2, on the edge of the listicle, when the drugs began to take hold”
Honestly, this genre would best be described as "Action Cookbooks".
"Haunted Pottery Barn"?
Eerie ad copy?
😂😂😂 I loved this sooo much! Thanks yet again for this smile you’ve plastered on my face.😊
That Bird Buddy is no joke. I have one and really enjoy it, even without any missing colleagues.
They look like a lot of fun, tbh.
This one was a grand slam. Many chuckles to ease back into the work week
This is my favorite type of Cookbook.
On the subject of gift guides: I saw a list of "gifts for dads" on a site which rhymes with the Dirge dot com and if I was the father of any the people who put it together, I would be wondering if I had failed them so much that they had written the most generic, "who even knows what dads want" guide ever because I had remained a mystery to them, or if they were just lazy sociopaths who'd never paused to wonder about the old guy paying the mortgage.
dads love ties! and golf! and smoking a football with whiskey barrel chips
Scott my mornings would be so boring without your chaotic fiction. Thankful for you!!!
There's a certain wistfulness that comes with a picture of a toy that was picked for being so obviously old and ridiculous that no contemporary child would play with it, and that toy being one you had yourself. Not the chromed version obviously, we weren't _that_ fancy in the 1970s.
After reading the first two paragraphs, I had the classic It’s Always Sunny line stuck in my head: “that doesn’t sound right but I don’t know enough about science to dispute it.”
Little-known fact: Cyber's second in that infamous duel with Van Dyck was none other than Norwood Teague. (Teague later ran off with Constance before Van Dyck could challenge him to another round.)
Norwood? So that’s why Cyber’s shot was wide right
Scott you've outdone yourself once again